Hello, my name is Debbie & I have a teenage son.....

**Guest1** · 08-23-2004, 07:35 PM

That's how I'll start my introduction when I go into the methadone clinic.....

This boy is driving me batty....

His dad was not like this at his age...
(wow - that sounded weird!)

I was not like this at his age....

Katie was never like this either....

This morning he had to be to work by 10....He comes out to fix his lunch (this boy is so tight he squeaks when he walks) and I really didn't pay much attention to what he had on (their uniforms are jeans and a Skecher's shirt)...as we're getting ready to head out the door, I saw his shirt...not only did it look like he'd slept in it, it was dirty! Looked like most of his dinner the night before made it to his gut from the outside....I (calmly) asked him why he chose that shirt - was it cleaner than his other one...he stated he couldn't find his other one... (paranthetical pause --- his room is 8' X 9' - it used to serve as a one car garage, but in an effort to offer '4 bedroom homes' someone decided to close it off and call it a room - he has a bed, dresser, bookcase, nightstand, love seat, pole lamp, and his motorized scooter in there - losing something would be no problem, but his uniform shirt?!?!)

I told him that if I was his manager & he came to work looking like that, I'd fire him on the spot...

In the 4 or so minutes we had to spare, he pulled out every shirt he had and still couldn't find it!

He chose to wear a plain navy blue shirt instead....

Since I got back home, I've been working on his room.....what a chore....
he had about 10 pounds of dog hair under his bed...
3 laundry baskets full of clothes (clean?? dirty?? who knows!!)...
enough candy wrappers to outfit Willy Wonka for life...
47 issues of Time magazine...
all of the TVGuides we've been getting...
2 dish towels...
11 washcloths...
my hammer...
3 extension cords (not connected to anything, just wrapped up and stuffed...
a bath towel (ain't one of ours!!)...
2 of his sisters shoes (not *matching* shoes, just two separate shoes!)...
a Ken doll (

hope he was playing 'action figure' and not Barbies!)
4 DVDs that don't belong to us (wonder whose missing them?!?!)...
17 DVDs that 'nobody' knew what happened to...
4 brand new toothbrushes...
his math notebook that I "took last year & never gave back" - riiight...
a box of tea bags...

the remote to my stereo...
well over 200 Chuck E. Cheese tokens...
a cable bill from Virginia...
my underwear

...
a library book from his kindergarten year...

and so on and so on....

then I moved to the other side of the room....

I'm at wit's end....

Any mom's of teenage boys (or reeeaaallllyyyy sloppy girls!) have any advice for me?!

Do I let him live??

I've just never seen such a mess in my life - just looking at it from the door, it honestly looked squared away...

One of these days, perhaps I'll get bold enough to post the picture of the water in the washer from his laundry!

**Darlene** · 08-23-2004, 07:48 PM

Yep Deb, you let him live. How old is he? Did you give him fair warning?
That all being said guys(as a whole) are messy beings and don't care about things unless it means bunches to them. If he doesn't want his Mommy cleaning his room, he's going to have to keep it at an acceptable level according to managements rules.

Time for a chat.

**Missy** · 08-23-2004, 07:53 PM

I think it is in male genes. Just my two cents..

Oh!! The shoe thing...I used to take one of my brothers shoes now and then. Just to drive him nuts when he went to look for the mate to his shoe....

**captclearance** · 08-23-2004, 07:56 PM

Awwww Debbie, my teenage boy is grown and gone now..... Now he lives in his own sloppy apartment.....(I do have to say that he keeps his apartment a little better than his room when he lived at home) Now I have a sloppy 13 years old dd (Yes dd) that is a total slob !!!!!! First ds drove me nuts and now it's dd's turn.... No advice really, short of torture, I'm not sure what will make them clean their nasty rooms.... I gave up and said go ahead live that way and if you get rabies don't come runnin' to me ...... They basically said "Cool, thanks Mom " .....

Good luck !!!!!!!! And Hugs !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These kids are enough to give us Purple, I mean grey hair !!!!!!!

**guest2** · 08-23-2004, 07:59 PM

OK, I thought you were describing my 3 teenaged sons for a moment there. With Jaysn we have days when "the lights on but nobody's home"

and the twins bedroom could be declared a federal disaster area! I'm terrified that I am going to lose a cat in there one day. I refuse to go and clean it out for them because I'm afraid I'd have a panic attack in there. It totally overwhelms me. DH is in charge of that detail, not me.

**simplemom** · 08-23-2004, 08:47 PM

Well, Debbie...your son sounds like my 3 older sons....each at different degrees...lol....Mathieu (13) is the worse here....I try to ignore his room ...not always easy though...!

**Guest1** · 08-23-2004, 08:50 PM

About a year ago I did actually put a sign on his door declaring it a national disaster area and it stated that the Nat'l Guard would be arriving as relief...it still hangs there to this day - it's probably the only thing in there that is actually where it should be!

I thought it had made a difference - until today....

Like I said, looking at it from the door, it looked fine....

Will is 16 BTW...I would've thought that the "responsibility" thing would've kicked in by now!

Katie was about 14 when she started keeping up with her own stuff...

My buddy Pattie (the one who lives on Dickman Road

) said her son was a total slob until he was about 14 then he started tidying up as well....

Will appears to be two years late!!

I have chatted with him Darlene....I left him notes as reminders...I've cleaned his room with a trash bag...I've told him that he can shape up or ship out....I've screamed, pleaded, begged, and cajoled with him....I still found 47 Time magazines in that hole he calls his room!!

It's making me crazy!!

Maybe I'll just hit him right where he feels it the most.....
his wallet....

"hello son, I know you're quite busy with you new job and such, so in an effort to help you out as much as possible, I'll take over your laundry & room for a minimal fee of just $25 per week...."

He'd get a clean living environment & I'd make some money!

**Darlene** · 08-23-2004, 09:19 PM

Yep having him pay the maid would get his attention. So would having his prized possessions on the front lawn.

**guest2** · 08-23-2004, 09:23 PM

Well Deb, lets look on the bright side...at least the magazines were TIME magazines and not something trashy!

**Guest1** · 08-23-2004, 09:27 PM

Indeed!!

Guess I what I did find when I looked under his mattress.....

The missing uniform shirt!

That kid....I'll be an addict before I'm 27 again!

**bamamomto4** · 08-23-2004, 09:30 PM

I can relate. Ashley is a slob as well and she's a girl! I thought girls were suppose to be prim and proper and such.NOT MY DD!!
She even dresses sloppy

I am not lying....I told her oneday to clean her room.I was sick of looking at it..not to come out till it was spic and span....She never did come out.I went to check on her at like 10pm and ask why she wasn't eating dinner and she says "You said not to come out till the room was clean.." LOL She had books,shoes,clothes EVERYWHERE in her room.The next day Steve took 5 garbage bags to the thrift store

She's kept it a little neater since...thank goodness!

I feel for ya Debbie!

**Katybird** · 08-23-2004, 09:40 PM

Yep, you have to let him live (capital offenses and all that

) . I had one child out of three who was a neatnic, his room was always clean, he did his own laundry, he was proud of his belongings and kept them nice and neat, the other two on the other hand could have cared less if the floor could be seen or ever found. I am sending calm Momme vibes to you and clean your room vibes to Will.

Remember, this too will pass.

**Guest1** · 08-23-2004, 09:59 PM

I'll take every single calm Momme vibe I can get - that's for sure....

How about tossing in an additional "don't make your mom pop a vessel" vibe to Will as well!!!!

it just ain't passing fast enough for me! feels like it's moving like Darlene's avatar!!

**mustang80** · 08-23-2004, 10:14 PM

Can't help with the boys, but Raechel is the resident slob here. When she is home, there is a trail through the house of where she has been and even though I have all three of them in the same room, it seems Raechel's stuff is all over the floor, bed dressers, etc. So she is the only one ever told to clean up. I have a path to get to the baby in the middle of the night.

UGH!

**homesteadmamma** · 08-23-2004, 11:12 PM

They say that teens that have messy rooms are healthy and normal - at least thats what the experts say.

I'd leave it!! Don't shoot me but the more you get after teens in regards to their rooms, the more they get sloppy. BUT I'd also not do his laudry and make some stiff rules. NO food other than at the kitchen table, nothing that is owned by anyone else in his room, those types of rules. And if he wants to dress like a slob, he pays the consequences.

Both my older boys were sloppy too, but both of them grew up to be fine young men who help their wives, who wash dishes and who vacuum or throw the odd clothes in the laundry. I never thought it would happen when we were going through the teen years.