I am not to sure what to do ...

[kimmee]

Bob gives me $1000. per month for child support for our three children, it was supposed to be $1700 by state standards but I knew that would wipe him out and I figured I could just make up the difference. It is very expensive t raise the kids as you know and though $1000. seems like alot it really doesn't go that far...

Bruce and I have created college accounts for the three of them and Bob's parents have as well (Bob's parents are  loaded!) But the kids understand that they are also going to have to try to earn scholarships.

Bob asked me the other day if I would consider getting only $850 a month so he could put the other $150 in a college account for the kids, since his new wife already almost had $9000 in her daughter's account. I thought he meant he would match my $150 (making it $300 a month) but he meant that he couldn't do it unless he cut the child care payment and then HE would be putting $150 a month in an account for them. Bruce and I are already doing $300 a month ($100) each out of my child support money. I explained this to Bob but now he says I am being unreasonable cuz I am not giving him the chance to contribute. Bob and his new wife together make $160,000 a year. Bruce and I make $52,000. I am confused about what I should do cuz on the one hand I want their dad to be a hero (since we left HIM) but on the other hand I don't understand why there is not more money there for our kids as there is for her child. Am I being unreasonable, or just dense.

[mtjsmom]

Wow..You are definitely a better person then me..lol..I wouldnt have let me cut the support in the first place seeing they have almost double your income and only 1 child in the home to support. I would tell him to start putting some of the 700.00 that he was supposed to be paying in the first place..Im sorry if i sound bitter but i deal with jessicas father who didnt do SQUAT for the first 10 yrs of her life...I wouldnt worry about letting him be "hero" he already is more thne that to your kids..They seem to think Dads walk on water..lol..

Hope it works out,
carol

[pita1213]

i agree, he's already not paying the full amount that the state requires him to do. where is that 700 going? if you really wanted to be a stinker you could make him pay the full amount but you are being nice and he's only paying 1000. he and his new wife need to figure out a budget for themselves to come up with the money he wants to put into college funds for the boys. there is bound to be something they can cut out, do less often or whatever to come up with that money.

[guest2]

First of all, if they are making that much money together then he should be paying the full amount each month owed for child support and not sliding by with $1000. It will not wipe him out at all to have to pay what he owes. Next, you could tell him that you will be more than glad to put away the $700 a month (that he has been getting away with not paying) into college accounts for the kids. Under no circumstances should you allow him to pay even less per month.

[Chea]

I agree with the other ladies. We all want to play nice but if he's making that much more than you, then why shouldn't the kids live as well. I think we all need to play nice when we split up but there's a fine line between being nice and being TOO nice!

[AmyMCGS]

ITA.... do not let him pay any less to you than he already is. And how would you hold him accountable if he "forgot" to deposit his share into their accounts each month? I think he should be grateful that you're letting him slide already and he should not push the issue, since you could take him to court and get the full amount he was supposed to be paying anyway.

[BlessedMommy]

I totally agree with those who have posted before me. He needs to be pulling more weight, so to speak!

[forestdale]

I agree with Debbie. You might want him to be a hero for your kids but he's not acting like one if he could afford to give them the state allotted money but pays less. And now he wants to pay less again????? That's not heroic nor is he being a caring father. If you are having trouble making ends meet and he's got $160,000 per year with the new Mrs, why would he want to pay less. Sorry, but this bloke is not putting his responsibilities towards his children first, and he should. If it were me, I tell him he needs to pay the $1700 every month from now on and you'll be using some of that money for college accounts - and they won't be in his name, they'll be in yours.

[Darlene]

They are making $160,000 a year and he can't fulfill his court mandated obligations towards his kids? I think he'll just have to do without the new car, trip or what ever extravagent thing he spends his money on this year to pay his child support.jmho.

[frugalmel]

hugs. I agree with the other ladies. It sounds like he should be paying more of his 1700 if he wants to contribute to the college fund.

[Cashmere]

I'm sitting here next to Ron and letting him know the story too... HE even agrees with all of us, too! Seriously, there's no reason why he should be making that much dough and NOT be able to fork over $ for college accts. IMO, he should be paying that extra $700/mo. PLUS put more away into the accts! I'd go for it.

[captclearance]

I think if you continue to allow him to pay only the $1000 a month you will regret it the next time you met him in court. They (the coart ) may see it as you have no need for the $1700 and reduce his payments to you.... It sets a bad presidence ...... If he makes that much money he should pay and like Darlene says, put away the extra $700 ........ Good luck !!!!!!

[Katybird]

You have been more than fair with him, if the court says he needs to pay $1700 then he needs to pay $1700. He has been very lucky that you have been so agreeable with him since he only paying about 1/2 of what he is ordered to pay. You might have to remind him that by not paying the full amount of the child support he is in reality "in contempt of court" and could be jailed the next time he accuses you of being unreasonable.

I would not worry about making him a hero. That is his responsibilty, he needs to make himself a hero to his children and that means paying his entire child support and helping with their higher education.

[spikeadoo]

I have to agree with everyone else. Do not take any less from him.

[Milhos]

I, too, agree with everyone here. Even if she were making $100,000 of the $160,000 income, and just doesn't want to share with you, $48,000 a year is plenty for him to support himself (that would be $39,600 if he were giving his children their due and is still plenty for him). Tell him that if it makes him feel better, since he gave you the three hundred that you put into their accounts anyway, he can sign the card.