selfish, inconsiderate, arrogant, thoughtless.............

**dz_blonde_girl** · 05-16-2002, 07:59 AM

I started a new job this month where I have to work some weekends. My husband and I discussed this 3rd weekend thing before I accepted the job. He said he'd stay home with the baby. (Then he convinced himself that I only had to work Saturday, duh, what does "weekend" and "6-day stretch" mean?)

So, I have to work this coming weekend. Well dh would rather go mushroom hunting, so he talked my sister in law into taking Gracie. She is going out of town Saturday to help her mom with a yard sale and taking her 2 kids (ages 2 and 3) and my baby with her? I think NOT! First dh is offing his responsibility because he's got something better to do, and second "out of town" is way to far away if something happens. I am SOOOOOO pissed off.

He says he's going, that otherwise he has to work 7 days in a row. (?) He says he took care of Gracie the last 2 Saturdays in a row. Last Sat I went with "the sisters" to breakfast and shopping and I was gone all day. (then he was gone all day Sun mushroom hunting) The Sat before he had her for 1 1/2 hours and she slept the first hour of it.

He completely freaked on me when I got home last Saturday because I didn't bring him any beer. (I didn't get too pissed off when he did everyone's laundry but mine. I had to stay up late so I'd have something to wear to work Monday since I didn't discover it until like 9pm on Sunday) He routinely has behaviors because I don't cook a huge supper every night after I get home from work. He's rarely here to help take care of Gracie while I'm suppose to be cooking this meal for him.

He was here to help take care of HIS daughter 1 week out of March, he spent the rest of the month at his brother's house working on his truck. He must have strategicly placed his "home in the evening" days in April, because I don't remember getting all frustrated at him about it. So far this month, he's helped out the last 2 days, besides the Saturdays mentioned before.

Who does he think takes care of HIS daughter when he's out f*cking off? Her big brother spends more time with her than he does.

It's like we constantly have to kiss his *ss and keep him happy, but when it comes to taking care of us it only happens if he doesn't have something else to do.

I'm done, I'm not doing it any more. I have no time to spend with my son, I'm too busy taking care of @#$%^head. I have no money, I spend it all on beer and cigarettes for him. I had more extra money when I was a single parent.

Karen

**Michelle** · 05-16-2002, 09:07 AM

{{HUGS}} Karen. I can't imagine what you're going through. It sounds to me like you and dh need to have a *serious* discussion about who is responsible for what and when. Maybe a wipe-off calendar of who will be where when would help a little? Write down the days you will need him to be there to watch the kids.

Explain to him that you want HIM to watch them and not push off his responsibilities to family members, friends, etc.

I would be livid too if my dh were acting the same way.

Keep us posted, and good luck.

Chelle

**Jerseygirl** · 05-16-2002, 05:16 PM

Men suck-good luck

**MANDERS** · 05-16-2002, 10:36 PM

I feel for you.I can kinda sorta relate.Dh has been working real long hours and some of this he put on himself but he comes home eats and goes to bed therefor I am with the kids 14 hrs and have to keep them entertained for that long and keep my sanity.Its been real trying lately.then i ask if he will ask his mom to watch the kids so we can have a night alone.He says no.Don't know why but I guess he wants these kids tied to my hip every second of my life.

Anyways I would talk to him about it and say both of you are working real hard to bring in the money and BOTH of you need to work real hard on raising the kids.Even though I sah and dh works I still insist on that he takes part in their lives and actualy spends one on one time with them.Maybe alternate saturdays one time you do your thing and he stays with the baby and the next you switch.Also make sunday a manditory family day to be together as a WHOLE family.Hope some of this helped.And if you don't mind me asking what is the big deal about mushroom hunting.Is this a sport lol.Just curious

**dz_blonde_girl** · 05-17-2002, 07:53 AM

He just wants ALL the mushrooms

He says he's decided he wants to be a husband and father. (the real estate agent called back on the pre-approval for my home loan

I was still at work, and he answered the phone)

We'll see what happens. Hopefully he knows I'm serious now.

**Lori Biever-Launder** · 05-22-2002, 02:15 PM

Men ALL want to be around for the first thirty seconds of being a parent. Many of them think that this is the only time they should have ANYTHING to do with their children! An idiot can sire (or birth, for that matter) a child; it takes a REAL(or woman) to step up and be a parent.

In our family, we don't call it babysitting when Dad does this--you CAN'T BABYSIT YOUR OWN CHILD!!!!!!!!!! So DH is upset that he had to work last weekend--taking care of HIS child? Well, BOO HOO. What the H*ll does he think you have been doing when you're not at work? If he gives you the "but it's a woman's job to do this", give him the response, "If that's the case, then I should be home taking care of her instead of busting my butt all day to bring in the rest of the money YOU should be making!'. Most men who believe the first line will be absolutley apoplectic if you mention the second one!

Hang in there kiddo and don't let him get to you. Remember, you're the mom and YOU decide what's best for the family. BTW, he could always take DD with him to his brother's house! I had a friend whoe DH put the daughter in her car seat and sat her in the cab of the truck while he was doing minor repairs. She is now 14 and loves to help Dad with car repairs.

**Lori Biever-Launder** · 05-22-2002, 02:16 PM

OOPS--the linme should have read:

REAL man (or woman)

BIG difference!!!

**dz_blonde_girl** · 05-22-2002, 09:02 PM

Thanks everyone

I was sooooooo angry. He's been doing a lot better the last few days, helping with the baby and understanding that I'm tired too.

We've been having a few problems with my son at school, too and he hasn't blown up. He has actually listened to us, being a husband and father like he said he's be.

Let's just hope it lasts. I wonder how he'll be when we go camping this weekend.

**justGina** · 05-22-2002, 09:26 PM

??? Mushroom hunting ???

(heh...sorry

)

**Lori Biever-Launder** · 05-22-2002, 11:14 PM

Yeah, mushroom hunting! YUM! People hunt for wild mushrooms in many parts of the country, just like berry picking. Wild mushrooms are a very lucrative venture. Morel mushrooms sell for roughly $20.00 a pound, others even more. They are to die for!