Any Good Books

[paelthom]

Have you found any really good and helpful books that have given you direction in the area of discipline?

Do you find it easier or harder to discipline as children get older?

[homesteadmamma]

Great question Pat. I haven't found many books in regards to discipling that I really like. Probably the best one was Barbara Coloroso's book Kids are Worth it. I find that most books are so extreme at one end of the spectrum or other and no inbetween, kwim. I kinda gave up trying to find any and sorta go with my instinct now when it comes to disciplining.

As kids get older I find its harder to discipline - no doubt about it.

[forestdale]

Pat, I found as my boys grew older it was easier to parent them as I could talk to them and find out their views on what was happening. When they were younger they just did what I thought was appropriate for them.

I found that by talking to them, and not just when things needed to be talked about, that I developed a much better understanding of the pressures they felt and why they wanted to do certain things. I used to ask them questions like: "if you were the parent, what would you do?", "why do you think you deserve that?" "what are the consequences of you doing that?" etc

I don't know if I'm just a lucky mum or if I had great kids but we didn't have many problems with them during their teenage years. Their many friends used to love to come stay with us and they often told my sons that they found our home a warm and relaxing place with no shouting.

I trusted my kids. That's important. I expected them to do well and to look after each other. I was ALWAYS truthful with them and they knew that they could always talk to me about ANYTHING.

I guess my most important piece of advice is that when Ryan comes to you and wants to talk, it's always in confidence, you take what she says seriously and you never punish her for telling you her private thoughts. If your child opens up to you, there is nothing you can't work out between you both.

Good luck, Pat. It's a tough gig being a parent.