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  1. #1
    Registered User Mom23boys's Avatar
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    Default How old is too old

    for your child to share the bed with you?

    I have a co-worker that has a "family bed". She has 2 children, 1 girl (7) and 1 boy (3). Her and her Dh share their bed with them.


    My children have always slept in their own beds except when they had a nightmare. I would let them jump in to calm them down. I also use to let them stay in the bed with us when I breastfeed them. I am a light sleeper, always have been, so I can tell where they were in the bed.

    Now the pets sleep with us. I have to stay in a certain position all night because I can feel them next too me. I can't turn over because they won't let me. So instead of sharing my bed with my children, I share it with my "other" children...my pets.

    I am sure we all have different opinions on this matter. That is ok because that is what makes us all unique!
    ~*Michelle*~

    ~Wife to Rick since Dec. 19, 1986~
    ~Mother to Richard, 23, Chris, 21, and Dakota, 17~
    ~Mother-in-law to Amber, wife of Richard~
    ~Elementary Teacher~

  2. #2
    Registered User SewCrafty's Avatar
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    Default Re: How old is too old

    Originally posted by Mom23boys

    Now the pets sleep with us. I have to stay in a certain position all night because I can feel them next too me. I can't turn over because they won't let me. So instead of sharing my bed with my children, I share it with my "other" children...my pets.

    I am sure we all have different opinions on this matter. That is ok because that is what makes us all unique!
    I can't comment on children Michelle, but have you ever been "locked" into the bed covers by 9 cats at once? And don't forget the little ones biting your toes when you move just the slightest! Oh the joys of loving (spoiling) my babies!
    ~~ Dee ~~
    8 Years Cancer FREE!
    25 July 2003



    Married to my sweetie, Jack 25 yrs.

    Mama to 27 furbaby 'Katz' (as my hubby calls them LOL)
    Nicky, Snowy, Olga, Ralphie, Sidney, Oliver, Fonz, Audra, Hoss, Peanut, Madeline, Tigger, Alice, Poppy,Teddy Bear, Mittens, Conan, Sherman, Trapper, Radar, Maxie, Annie, Rocky, Kali (AKA P.I.T.A), Jethro, Chewy Lewy, and Chance!

    Don't forget to do self examinations monthly and have regular mammograms!

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Darlene's Avatar
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    We've always slept in seperate beds. If they had a nightmare we would reassure them but they would go back to sleep in their own room with monsters expelled & nightlights on. We just felt them sleeping with us would be a hard habit to break and wanted to help them learn that they had nothing to fear and learn coping skills early on. Sounds kind of harsh seeing it written here but it wasn't.
    ~*Darlene*~
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  4. #4
    Registered User KKCondrey's Avatar
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    Paige sleeps with us in a secure sleeper that fits between us on the nights that Joe doesn't have to be up early or work at all the next day (only until she wakes up to be feed or changed). If she sleeps thru the night that is great, if not she goes into her crib after I feed/change her and then I go back to bed.

    On the nights that Joe does have to be up early she stays in her crib all night and I keep the monitor on my side of the bed.

    When she is constantly sleeping thru the night then she will sleep in her crib all the time.

  5. #5
    Registered User Kimberlina's Avatar
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    Well, I think it all depends on what you grew up with, among other things. There are societies with co-sleping is very normal, so it all depends on you perspective. DD co-sleeps with us (which was not our first choice, but I'll get to that later) but she is almost two and for us, she needs to be in her own bed very soon.

    Now, as to why we co-sleep: We didn't want to co-sleep- I initially thought it was preposterous. I had never head of attachment parenting. DD was born with a congenital defect that caused her to be in pain vitually every time we laid her down, even if she was at an angle, head higher than toes. We did not discover the cause and get support (medication) for her until she was 10 weeks old, and by that time, she was used to being held to sleep. She would not sleep any other way and DH and I needed to sleep, so we finally gave in and held her. We tried every sleeping thing we could think of- the car seat, the bouncy seat, the bassinet, etc. We even bought her an Amby Baby Hammock, and she slept in it for about two months until she learned to roll over- then we had to take her out. (She first rolled at 6 weeks, 6 days, and never looked back.) So, back to our bed.

    I don't believe in letting kids cry it out. I think that is cruel, and it is rarely done in many countries. So I don't know that there is a "ight" age. For my family, personally, I think 7 is a bit old. I don't think I will be going to college with Maggie to help her sleep, but I don't want to foser too much dependence.

    That said, I rarely talk to people about the family bed- they just don't get it. I also rarely tell anyone we are extended nursing (although that is going to end, soon, too. We had a goal to make it to 2 years as the WHO recommends.)

    Wow- this got long!

  6. #6
    FV Buddy aka Kellie Bob Jerseygirl's Avatar
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    Yami turned 2 last week-I am not a fan of the family bed, but she is-at least for the past 6 months or so she has been. She falls asleep in our bed, I put her in the crib, if she wakes up she comes back to the bed if I wake up I put her back in the crib. I'm not sure how it all started but it has severely cramped my style. We currently have 4 kids under 5 + dss on weekends and I am picking my battles. I had a friend who had their son in their bed with 2 parents until about 7, it was his son's choice to leave. Another friend is a single mom, her daughter is 10 and has always shared her bed--she's trying to move her into her own room now but is finding a lot of resistance--the child has never slept alone.

  7. #7
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    I let mine sleep in the bed with me when I was nursing them. When they are sick I don't mind them coming into my bed. When hubby was in Iraq my daughter would end up in my bed most nights. As soon as he came home she stopped.
    Hubby doesn't let Konan (the pooch) sleep with us

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