I can't stand his insecurites!!!

[MANDERS]

Ok I know this isn't all just in my head.And I think dh knows he is this way.

First lets just start off by saying that dh has been in relationships with women that have made him this way.Second last april I had ds weighing in at 204lbs.I am now at 141.And down so many sizes.I have worked really hard at loosing my weight but its not just that,when I was blonde he didn't like that and now his sister baught a tanning bed and said I can use it whenever I want and so can he.He told her he doesn't want me to use it.why I ask him.Cause I just want people to notice me.No I jsut don't want to look like a ghost.I don't know what to say to him that will make him know that I will never do anything to harm our relationship.I just want to look and feel my best.

[Bevv]

Congratulations on all that weight loss.
Were you overweight when you married him?

At least you have step one.. you know that he has some history with women that is causing him to react like he does.

Having never been in that situation...

My temptation would be to say something like.. I know that (ex-girlfriend) would have acted like that, but I never would.

Sweetie, the only person that I want to notice me is YOU, but I feel washed out without a tan.

Work on his ego... how important it is for you to look good for him.

I have seen a site refered to called www.marriagebuilders.com that might help.



W

[MANDERS]

Bevv,thanks!Nope I weighed 120lbs when I met him and he once told his sister that I had the best body he has ever seen.I talked to him about it and he admitted to being insecure.I think its just he is again realizing that I look atleast half way deasent when i'm thin.So I asked him to work out with me so he can look great too.NOt that he doesn't but a couple of situps might help.I think if we both look could it will bost his self esteem

[justjenn]

I have a somewhat jealous dh. Although, he does want me to look my best-but still, I sort of know what you are going through.

My advice is to stand your ground and let him know that it is something you are doing for yourself and in a way him, and not for other men, etc.

[samantha]

I'm sorry. I know this is a toughie for you. One thing you can try to do is reassure him that when you feel good about yourself, it helps you in all aspects of your life, including your relationship with him. You can also point out that of course he benefits from your foxy self too.

[MANDERS]

Thanks! I just found out he has this thingy on the computer that he can see everything I type and view online.I guess he doesn't want me talking to guys or anything.(happened in the past,but it was just a chatroom with a bunch of people talking in a group nothing bad or anything)LOL he said he fell asleep looking at the stuff I type.He told me everything I say on here.I think he is funny.Sometimes it does feel good that he doesn't want to loose me,and I've convinced him that maybe he should workout so we can both look "hot" as he says it together.Never knew I was hot.LOL