12 yr olds and ONLINE video games....

**Chea** · 05-01-2005, 09:17 AM

Anyone familar with a video game called Diablo??

SHEESH!!
So Damon, my ds, has been talking to dh and I about this "cool" video game that my brother has. You go online and play with other players and kill people. He wants it and I say NO WAY. He is 12 years old and doesn't need to go online and play with absolute strangers and perverts.
Sooo.....he goes with my brother and buys it anyways. Then he is driving me crazy b/c I won't let him install it at home. I tell him no, you weren't supposed to buy it anyways etc.

So then I find out he took it over my moms to play while he's there for the weekend. *MAD! I call over there and tell my mother no way is he playing this Diablo game and told her what it is. She totally agrees with me. THEN I get my 22 yr old brother calling me to argue.
His defense?? I let him go outside dont I?? There's more sickos out in the world right?? Ughh! I told him there's no argument, I said no. I'm a MEAN MOM, I had a MEAN MOM when I was growing up and I just said NO.

I call over there later and my mom right away tells me how my DB explained it to her and ds is playing the game. WTF! I said NO! So now I'm mad at my mom, DB and DS. Can anyone else smell a grounding in the air!!!

**jlxian** · 05-01-2005, 11:11 AM

Yes, it would be a major grounding at our house, and the revoking of computer privileges for a LOOOOOOOOOONGGNGNGNGNGN time. And maybe no visiting with uncle for a longggggg time.

I think another reason to object to the game is the killing involved. Maybe your brother and son can understand that?

Good luck. I'm behind you!

**Mom23boys** · 05-01-2005, 11:49 AM

I am behind you. I have older boys, not much older, and I still don't let them play those games. I guess you can add me to the "mean mommy list"!

**pita1213** · 05-02-2005, 09:36 PM

first let me start out by saying i wholeheartedly agree with you. diablo is not a game for preteens. if i remember right it's characters are fanasty based, but still a lot of gore to the game.
dh plays a game called tfc and one called battelfeild 1942. both of these are war games. bf1942 being more realistic and based on ww2. there is some blood in these games since you are trying to shoot the enemy, but not quite teh gore like diablo. we have let ds play them in the past after dh has discussed with him about this being an online game and that real guns are not toys. you don't respawn in real life if you get shot with a gun, etc.
and we always make sure we know who he is playing with. one advantage of being active in those gaming comunities is you know who you are playing with and most of the time ds played on a private server that was only accessable with a pasword. the reason i am telling you all of this is to try to give you a heads up on what is out there when your son gets older and you are more comfortable with him playing online games. there are communities of gamers for almost every online game. there are leagues and teams for these games. if you decided you ds is ready to play any online game, look into the gaming communites. most have messageboards, most teams have message boards. and there are a lot of parents that play these games as well. get to know who your ds is playing with. the teams my dh played with were mostly older folks and we kept an eye out for the younger kids to try to keep them out of trouble. but there are a lot of kooks out there so make sure he is careful. like anything else, you need to know who your son is interacting with, but don't totally write off online gaming as a bad thing, but it would probably be best to wait till he's a little older.
i'd be furious with db and dmom for letting him play a game you didn't want ds to play after you made it clear to them why you didn't want ds to play it. definatly time for loss of computer privelges and time for a talk with dmom and db.

**Darlene** · 05-03-2005, 08:28 AM

I agree he is too young and everyone should have gone by your wishes. They should not be undermining your wishes as his parent.

Dd who's played it said the game can be played with the blood part shut off. The thing that drove me nuts was the the lady saying "I need more mana"
That said, my son started playing at 14. He knows the difference beteen real and fantasy and knows that real violence isn't a lovely thing. He's turned out to be a well balanced kid, kind and loving. Movie violence such as the scene between the British & the dead pirates in Pirates of the Caribbean is just as violent and just as not real as the violence in Diablo. JMHO.

**Chea** · 05-03-2005, 12:41 PM

Well the end result was I didnt' ground him. Dh and I were all ready to take away every comfort in his room and when I went to p ick him up he had written a letter saying he was sorry he didn't listen to me and he knows I' the parent..... So softie that I am, I let him off the hook. However, I'm taking him and this game back to the store he bought it from. He is 12 and its rated M for Mature and while I know there was an "adult" with him, it wasn't one of his parents and hopefully get his $$$ back.
btw -- he's not interested in playing it as a reg. game so he doesn't need it.

**forestdale** · 05-03-2005, 11:31 PM

heather, I commend you for how you've dealt with this. The most imporytant part, I believe, was to take the game back. If your son doesn't have the game, he can't play it AND the game store was in the wrong to sell it to him.

I want to agree with Pita and Darlene about something as well. I have two sons and have been through all this as well so I have had some experience with this situation. Your son will get to a stage when he will play online. You have to prepare him for that, and let me say that although there are a lot of psychos online, generally, the gaming community are FAIRLY reponsible. Also, my sons both played violent games and are both the most gentle men. They did grow up, however, not watching really violent TV.

I think that with this, as with everything, you need to really know what it is your kids are doing and be there with them as a guide.

**jlxian** · 05-04-2005, 11:02 AM

Good plan to return the game. And what a nice boy to write you a letter of apology!

So far my son doesn't play "on-line" games, but I guess the time will come eventually, even though I would prefer differently. We remind the kids all the time of the dangers of the internet --- and hopefully it will sink in.