Help Me Undrestand!?

**KITTEN44** · 06-18-2002, 04:49 PM

i asked my bf of almost 10 months last night if i could have a bureau because i have been living out of a bucket for soooooo long. he said no because "when we first started dating, he wanted a gf...not a roommate" (since three weeks into are relationship he would ask me over every night to sleep there!!!! i would always ask permission before i would bring someting over. he would always say : "whatever u want sweetie, what is mine is yours"!!!!) so i said i will take my stuff out of there and he said no, he likes me there...loves and cares for me...likes things the way they are and does not understand why i am upset. how do i explain to him why i feel broken so he will understand and how do i understand where he is coming from?

**aylasmommy** · 06-18-2002, 05:08 PM

I can see why you are so upset

..if you are over there so much it wouldn't make sense *not* to have at least some drawers set aside just for you to use.
At least a small set of drawers or *something*!

Remembering back to when I stayed with my dh while he still lived at home..I think he just somehow made some space for me to have a couple drawers and some closet space. I would have gone nuts without that! (his room didn't have space for a whole dresser ..as it was the dresser was in the closet)

Tell him if he doesn't want a roommate then you wont be spending the night with him either

That is ..until you get some space for your own things!

**Michelle** · 06-18-2002, 05:46 PM

I agree wholeheartedly with aylasmommy

Stick up for yourself and insist that you get some space too!

Chelle

**Sara Noel** · 06-18-2002, 08:48 PM

I'll speak candidly here. You can tell him straight up that you seem to be good enough to sleep over, but not good enough to be offered space respectfully. That you aren't some cheap woman that should be expected to toss her belongings in a bucket.
I'd say if he doesn't understand RESPECT, kick him to the curb. You aren't asking to move in, you are demanding respect.

Sara

**snowangel** · 06-19-2002, 12:06 AM

I totally agree with Sara. The war is won with the little battles. It is simply a matter of what you think you deserve. The right answer here is respect. You will only get from him what you demand, took me years to learn this one. I had to keep repeating to myself "I deserve to be treated with________" Fill it in girl and don't settle for less.

Men are like shoes, if you can't break them in right--change 'em.

**TheFrugalDiva** · 06-19-2002, 08:32 AM

Yup...Im going to have to go along with all the rest on this one.......he's full of crap-thats where hes coming from!

If your stuff cant stay there...then you have no business being there either!