Ok, I need some advise on how to talk to my 7 year old.
Apearently a couple 5th grade girls talked my 7 year old into going into the tunnel (on the playground at afterschool care) with her "boyfriend" Garcie and Kissing.
Now I was told that by the teacher that she thinks they tried but never actually kissed, but they have also been holding hands.
THen yesterday my DD and another girl that Garcie had previously been BF-GF with got into an argument about Garcie. She told my DD that Garcie was going to break up and go back with her, and my DD was arguing that he is her boyfriend.
HELP.....I am NOT ready for first kisses yet, how do I talk to her about this? What would you do?
TIA
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I guess my first inclination would be to stay *very* calm and talk about it a little bit like "wow! how did it feel to do that?" to get her comfortable with talking to you about things like that. Because you want her comfortable NOW, so that when she's 13, 16, 21... she can feel safe in talking to you about even BIGGER things (get my drift).
My 2nd inclination would be to have a discussion about how NOBODY talks you into doing ANYTHING with your body. That if you do anything it's because you want to, you're ready for it etc... not because some 12 year olds are bored and want to push around some little kid. I would probably say things like "I'm a little surprised that you would agree to that - I know you're a girl who likes to make her own decisions and doesn't usually let other kids push her into things - why do you think it was different that day?" And then talk to her about ways to talk back to kids who are pushing her into stuff. Get her to come up with ideas of what she could say the next time it happens. You certainly don't want a boyfriend being able to talk her into anything later.
Above all, I wouldn't freak out too much about it. I think it is also pretty normal child behaviour - but a good opportunity to start those kinds of discussions so that by the time she's a teen she can talk to you about anything without being scared that "moms gonna kill me" or "mom will freak".
Hope that helps!
Babs
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Well, I'd be wondering why fifth grade kids are on the playground at the same time as 1st or 2nd grade kids. I honestly don't think that is a great idea- when I was a kid we all went out by age- k-2 at one time, 3-5 at one time, and it was probably precisely to prevent things like this from happening....
I got my first kiss in kindergarten..hehe! My hubby got in trouble in kindergarten for the same thing. (not with me though.. when he was in kindergarten, I was graduating from high school!)
Seriously though, be firm, but calm. My 7 yr old has talked about "boyfriends" and I've let her know in no uncertain terms that she is much too young for that, and she must wait til she's older.
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Well I was a little taken back and thinking this is way too young for this type of "play" my 10 year DD just started liking boys and holding hands that kind of stuff. I wouldn't be thrilled if my 8 year old had stories like you describe. I agree with what is above that those two age groups shouldn't be playing outside at the same time and I would bring that to the attention of the school.
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Ok, well...I talked to DD about having a boy friend and holding hands (that sort of stuff) ....
She said they broke up on friday because he said she was ugly.
I told her that she is too young to have boyfriends, that she should not be holding hands and trying to kiss boys.
She said that they went into "the tunnel" to talk because some other kids wouldn't leave them alone.
I hope that is all I will have to say to her for now (I know the day will come when I will have to say more)
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My 5 year old was kissing a 4 year old neighbor boy (our renters son). They got him for it and told us about it. My husband simply told her not to be kissing anyone but family...we don't go around kissing people. And he also told her the little boy was too young for her anyway. LOL
I don't think mine really thought anything romantic about it. She doesn't even know the word boyfriend yet. And she is always hugging and kissing everyone.
Debbie
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