Are you like your parents?

Sara Noel · 07-06-2002, 01:18 PM

In the sense of parenting style?
I am not. I feel I learned from things I disliked about my parents and make an effort to not do those things.
A small example would be my mom put so much emphasis on beauty, fitness, and appearance. I always felt ugly and that I wasn't at my best. I don't ever want to make my children feel that beauty is so important or that they are slugs if they don't workout daily.

Sara

CountryMom · 07-07-2002, 10:19 PM

Not really. My parents were too strict with us (ie children were to be seen but not heard). I don't do that with my kids. I expect them to be well behaved, but not stepford children.

mustang80 · 07-07-2002, 10:52 PM

I'm somewhere in between. My mom was too strict, my dad was not strict enough.

MANDERS · 07-08-2002, 11:31 AM

I am not like either one of my parents really.My mom never spent any time with us and expected us to act like adults.And my dad really never disciplined us.I spend every waking moment with my kids(sometimes I feel like I'm gonna pull my hair out)And my kids know the rules and are well behaved.

CAGmomof2 · 07-09-2002, 12:30 PM

No my parenting style as well as my DH is not like our parents (parenting style) we do however use a tiny bit of some of there parenting style that worked on us !!
For Example My Parents made sure that I knew right from wrong at an early age and my DH and I like that idea so we are using this idea for our DD !! Another example we use that neither Parents really did that often but we try to do every day is have Family Devotions and Family Prayer time!!

milach · 07-09-2002, 06:13 PM

My mom's parenting style only brings one word to my mind- paranoia. She had this irrational fear that I'd get kidnapped and made sure I was under her thumb at all times. For example- I was friends with the girl across the street but I was never allowed in her house (even though her parents were home) because I would be out of her sight. I had a bike, but I could only ride it infront of the house. She walked me to the bus stop (at the top of our street) until I was in 6th grade. I was never allowed to sleep at any friends house until I was 8th grade or so. I wasn't allowed to have my license until I was 18- so when me and my friends were 16 and 17 and they had their license- I was never allowed to go with them because she didn't want me in cars with teenagers, but yet she would never give me a ride anywhere because "I'm too tired". And the best one yet was in HS when I was in marching band. We would practice after school until about 4:30- at which time, the school had a late bus that would drop you off in the vicinity of your house (not necessarily your regular bus stop). Well, they dropped me off about 1 mile from my house at about 5:00, when it was just starting to get dark. My mom threw a fit because a young girl shouldn't be made to walk that far alone in the dark. She called the school griping and they told her too bad. So do you think she would pick me up at school on her way home from work since she got home about 4:30 or so? Heck no. I will never do this to my child- make him suffer the humiliation of being escorted to the bus stop at 13 years old or make him feel he shouldn't bother making friends because it's not like they could do anything or go anywhere together. My dad was the complete opposite- lets everything roll off his back. When my mom was at work and he was watching me, that was the only time I got to feel like a normal kid and do kid things. But of course, my mom wore the pants in the family. I feel that has really had a detrimental impact on my adult life.

So with all this time I spent at home, you think they'd be encourage me to make something of my life, try new things or whatever- no way. My brother always did that better, they laughed when I told them I wanted to be in band. I will always encourage my kids to do different things, never compare them to one another and be supportive even if they try and it fails. That's what I learned from my mom- and I'm going to try my darnedest to not be like her.

Laura

wife228 · 07-09-2002, 08:32 PM

I have my dad's sense of humor and make a joke about everything and I think like my mom. I don't have kids so I can't say anything about it in that sense. My mom and I can say and think the same thing quite often. I told her it was a sign I was getting old. In fact I know I"m getting old we have actually started liking the same music.