grrrrrrrrr....help!

**favesis37** · 11-06-2005, 08:19 AM

we have 3 kids, all adults. the oldest one is a very selfish, self centered man. he won't pay his child support so he lost his license, they have no vechile so are always wanting to borrow someone elses. well last week my youngest son got laid off for the winter, now he is looking for a job but in the mean time he will collect unemployment. i need to add that my oldest son just got a job, he and his girlfriend have 3 kids to support and they both work part time at burger king. ok, so here is the problem, with a family of 5 my oldest told my youngest that he would get him groceries if they could use my son's blazer sometimes. ds2 said sure. ds1 went and got him groceries, got home late, the next morning ds2 woke up to hear his truck going down the street, they had not asked for permission to take the truck, when they got home ds2 asked that they never take his truck with out asking. that started a major fight, ds1 went to ds2's apartment and started taking the food out of the freezer, on and on and on. well ds2 called us upset, i told him i carry the insurance policy on the truck on the same policy that my van and truck are on. i didn't want them to drive it, since ds1 has no license and girlfriend doesnt' have insurance. ds2 is going to tell them that today, it is goign to be ugly, this weekend was ds1 weekend with my grandson, he left the state to go to a yugi oh show and left my grandson here with his girlfriend who let him go stay the night with someone in another town. this is the kinda stupidity that we deal with. i am sure this will make them mad enough that they will back out on all holiday plans with us, and i guess i am ready for this. he will not let us see our grandson when he has him due toteh fact that the attention we pay grandson upsets her kids. nwo i have no trouble with step kids, i think it is wonderful, but we were forced into this thing, and now he holds our grandson against us.

sorry this is so long i had to vent, i guess i am not looking forward to today after all

**Darlene** · 11-06-2005, 09:22 AM

What a mess. Hope Ds#2 & 3 can find a jobs soon.(I kinda got lost in the story)
Hope s#1 gets some manners, sense of responsibility, chip off his shoulder, and starts acting like a man and father. He sounds very immature, time to grow up. Nice of him to leave his son on "his" weekend for some stupid show.

Sorry your grandson is being held up for ransom from you, poor kid having a dad like that.

Just hope he straightens up for the kids sake. Any chance you can work out something with the boys Mom so you can visit?

**Mom23boys** · 11-06-2005, 10:25 AM

I hope DS#2 is able to find a job soon.

I agree with Darlene, maybe you can work something out with your grandsons mom.

**Katybird** · 11-06-2005, 11:01 AM

I hope that your DS2 can find something for the winter and that he does not let DS1 take advantage of him anymore.

**favesis37** · 11-06-2005, 09:51 PM

my daughter in law lets us see grandson all the time, it is only when his dad has him that we can't see him. tonight they borrowed the truck again, hit the 4wd button and took it in the city, they drove this truck in 4wd all day, when ds2 got it back it was smoking and making terrible noises. that is the end of ds1 taking the truck, ds2 has had it, now he has to get the truck fixed to get a job!

**graci42** · 11-06-2005, 10:30 PM

I'm sorry to say this, but that sounds like it was intentional. They couldn't possibly NOT know that they'd put the vehicle into 4wd. I'd be making the culprite pay for the damages! Pure maliciousness!

Graci

**Renee-2kids** · 11-07-2005, 02:10 AM

I would do what you have to do about not letting him drive a truck that is on your insurance. The rest is between your sons I would let them work out. Make arrangement to see the grandkids with their mom. Then your son won't have that to hold over you.

My sister in-law is 12 years younger than dh. Their mom has all kind of mental problems. It's been hard for dh to step back and not protect his little sis from loony mom. He has to let her learn to deal with mom on her own as an adult. He still gives emotional support and suggestions, but he no longer steps into the middle. It's hard. Good luck.