Having Children

**Pepper** · 01-10-2006, 09:00 AM

Did you always know you wanted to have kids? Was there ever a time you thought you didn't?

As much as we love kids, neither one of us are sure we want to have any! Growing up I wanted tons of kids, but then once I became an adult I'm just not sure!

Did anyone else ever feel this way?

**Kimberlina** · 01-10-2006, 11:28 AM

I definitely didn't want kids. Then I decided I did-2. Then I had one, and she is the greatest thing ever, but now I'm not sure about having another. And it is very hard work, so this is one of those things in life that you really, really need to be sure about. I think until you know for sure, it is just one of those things you don't do, KWIM?

**Deborah_Kate** · 01-10-2006, 11:38 AM

Growing up I used to want 6 or more kids. Has to be something to do with everyone else in my church having 7 kids.

Anyway, my parents were so horrible at being parents as I got older I decided I didn't want any at all. Neither of my parents should have been allowed to breed, both are far too selfish and abusive to deal with the responsibility of raising 4 kids.

As I got still older, I was told I would never have kids (I have PCOS and NO ONE told me I had it. Diagnosed at 17, found out at 27 by stealing my medical chart and reading it in there) and at the time I wasn't worried about it.

That changed later on when I was around 24, I decided I wanted one. I didn't have him until I was almost 29 due to ongoing fertility problems and none of the treatments working for over four years. After Patrick was born, I knew one was enough for me and I didn't want to have to go through the whole deal with the fertility stuff again. I couldn't do that to myself and my family.

Then I got pregnant when Patrick was 4 months old and miscarried at 14 weeks. I was pretty much relieved at that point because I just didn't want another one at that point in my life. The very next cycle I got pregnant with Logan who was born just before I turned 30, which is also what I wanted. To have my child bearing done before age 30. Logan squeeked in just under the wire six weeks before my 30th birthday, and he was four weeks early.

By the time Logan was born, I knew that two would be enough for me and I'd go nuts if I had a third. I made Brian get fixed before Logan was born because I didn't want to chance it afterward. With the two that I now have, I sometimes wonder what got into my head when I was much younger when I used to want 6 or more.

Deb

**Emerald_Mommy** · 01-10-2006, 11:38 AM

I always wanted children. I'm 14 years older than my baby brother and he was like my first baby. I'm just crazy about him!

I always had a knack for dealing with kids. But even with that it's so much nicer taking care of my own than other people's

I want a few more (we have 2) but not just yet. Philip and I think we need to wait a few more years before having our next one. We are both in agreement that our family is not complete yet, though.

**mizniteowl** · 01-10-2006, 11:54 AM

When I was a teen I was dead set against having children. I wanted no part. Then when I was 20, Adam surprised us. A few weeks before that though I had a baby itch for some reason and was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant. When Adam was 2.5 I got the baby fever again and tried for Corey. It took 1 month.

Now, we know that we're done for sure. These two are quite the handful.

**babymav** · 01-10-2006, 12:45 PM

I never wanted to have kids or get married. That all changed when I turned 25 and realized that I did want to get married and have at least 2 kids.

We have 3 kids and are now done.

**homesteadmamma** · 01-10-2006, 12:48 PM

I always wanted kids and a I always wanted to adopt. In fact I would have loved to have a dozen kids. It just didn't work out that way.

**Michelle** · 01-10-2006, 12:56 PM

When I was younger I had no intention of getting married or having children. I was going to be one of those super-driven career women who didn't have time for kids.

I am glad it didn't turn out that way

**webjoba** · 01-10-2006, 01:01 PM

Funny - I wanted kids when I was younger but as I grew older and realized just how much responsibility they are I kept putting it off. It just never happened for me.

I often think I would like to foster or adopt as I think I am now ready for the experience but now finances prevent me.

Murphy's law I guess.

**Katybird** · 01-10-2006, 01:04 PM

I always knew that I wanted children and a husband, complete with white picket fence and cottage with the gingerbread trim.

**Jerseygirl** · 01-10-2006, 01:41 PM

I always said "No Kids" until at 25 I met Zachary- he was 10 mos old, HIV positive and had been born badly addicted to crack. He had been abused in a foster home and we arrived at a home I worked at for babies with AIDS on the same day.
He had blonde hair and blue eyes and was chubby and everywhere I took him people would tell me that I could never deny him as my child because we looked so much alike. We were inseperable for a year before the state transferred him to a foster home (I was offered the chance to take him but my life didn't afford me that at the time). I still saw him regularly. He died days after his second birthday, I was crushed but swore I could then handle being a mom and do foster care. It took me 8 more years, but I'm doing it.

**HOOAH2003** · 01-10-2006, 05:34 PM

I think ive always wanted to be a young mom...

I have been a mom since I was 19 (3weeks shy of 20)

**pammy** · 01-10-2006, 06:05 PM

I was young and stupid, married too early, got pregnant too early, and had dd before I was 18. I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. Yet... I sure wish I had waited til I was older to have her. I was so immature. She kinda grew up with me. I'm sure I've messed her up, my being such a kid myself. It's a huge worry for me.

Well, now I'm older. Dd is almost 17 and nearly out the door. Dh has no biological children of his own and would love to have a baby. Me, I'd have to get my tubes untied, which isn't cheap, and is a major thing for me, I hate surgery. Then there's the risk of an tubal pregnancy. And, there's the thing of being unsure if I really want to start completely over, ya know? I mean, dd will graduate highschool this year!

I'm still young, I'm 34. I feel I got some time to decide. But I'm old enough to know how big a responsibility children are. I'm old enough to know how expensive children are. And I think I'm old enough, and mature enough to decide we really need to get out of debt before we decide on a major life-changing decision, such as having more children. It's nothing to just jump in to. I'm not young and stupid anymore.

This question haunts me, too.

**Pepper** · 01-10-2006, 08:56 PM

We take precautions so we don't get any "surprises". We do know that if it is going to happen then it will, but for 10 yrs it has been working.

There are times when I feel selfish for feeling this way and then there are those times when I feel like I am being intelligent in this decision!

I can't say that I would be crushed if I never had a baby! I come from a huge family, and all my bros and sis's have lots of kids. I am the youngest and I watched two of my sisters have babies at 16, and I saw how it affected them. I never wanted that.

We get a lot of "flack" from family and friends about not having kids!