How would you handle......

**missymomof3** · 01-19-2006, 04:25 PM

My girls have been really bad about excluding their brother lately. There are very few kids in the neighborhood so he really has no one else to play with and it really hurts his feelings. It drives me crazy because I have never taught them to treat people this way. How do I handle this? Should I?

**canadian gardener** · 01-19-2006, 04:44 PM

Listen to them all about it.

They may want to do different things or he may be bugging them in some way.

Find out why, then figure out what to do.

**sixfreds** · 01-19-2006, 07:13 PM

I know this can be rough (I have 4 kids and 3 of them are triplets) but I think it is unfair to have your daughter have to play with your son just because there are no other kids in the neighborhood , they might want to do something different then he wants to do.
I think they shouldn't always exclude him but in the same respect they shouldn't have to include him all the time either.

I have this problem with the triplets sometimes 3 is a hard number for someone not to feel left out and I have 2 who are popular and have lots of friends and one who doens't get invited places but I can't punish the ones who do get invited because one will be left out that is just the way life goes....

I would try to find him a friend and plan some play dates with someone even if not in the neighborhood.

Eileen

**pkellyc** · 01-19-2006, 07:55 PM

I agree you should look for other kids for him to play with. I don't agree with them not being nice to him. More than likely he is bugging them and that's the way siblings are. Bad behavior should not be tolerated on the girls part or his. But the girls do need to understand that not only is he younger than they are, he is family and being in a family means taking care of eachother.

guest7 · 01-19-2006, 08:06 PM

I agree with Eileen, Shouldn't MAKE to girls include hime in ALL play. But they definitely should be nice about it. But also, brother needs to learn how to be self reliant.. and learn to have fun on his own... There will be MANY times in life were he will be excluded from certain things.. no better time than the present, and in the security of your home, to learn how to deal with rejection, boredom or frustration.
Good job on your part to recognize this. But know it's normal in healthy families. It's all part of growing up and socializing.

**missymomof3** · 01-20-2006, 09:29 AM

Thank you all. I will keep all of your posts in mind and try to work things out.

**KimSecret** · 01-20-2006, 11:16 AM

Im sorry I dont have any valuable advice, but I do feel your pain. My BIL has 3 girls and I have a Ds and a Dd. When they all get together, the girls usually dont include my Ds (the youngest) It hurts his feelings and mine, but I never know how to deal with it.
I sometimes will ask the girls to do something Ethan would like also, such as bike riding, board games, etc...
I hope you figure something out.