pre-teens

**slowtypinwoman** · 01-19-2006, 04:39 PM

ARRRGGHHHH!!!
I'm not kidding! I am not going to survive these teen years if the pre-teen are this bad! Someone has taken my sweet little girl, who looked up to me, and whose company I have enjoyed in the past and replaced her with a sulking brat.

I really love her but she has turned into this, this , this I din't know! She grunts, rolls her eyes, and generally acts bratty.
Some days are worse than others. This is one of the bad ones.
I was looking up something to do at the science center that I thought we could do as a family and that she would like. I pulled up the info and said, " Doesn't that look fun?" She rolled her eyes and just stood there looking board. So I asked her again. No, was all I got before she walked off.

How did all of you who have teen girls survive? I'm not excluding the parents of boys I know that girls are generally more emotional than boys. How DID you all do it with out a prison sentence?

**Missy** · 01-19-2006, 04:49 PM

I have no idea what to tell you!!

I know i was a snot to my mom when i was a teen, lol. If i could go back in time, I would slap myself silly.

I know that in time my sweet little girl will become a pre teen too.

**forestdale** · 01-19-2006, 05:02 PM

Blame it on the hormones, Marcia, and know that in the next 7 or 8 years what you model will play a big part in the sort of young woman she becomes. It's such a difficult time, but you'll get through it, she will too.

My method in dealing with two boys one year apart was for them to know, really know, that DH and I were the bosses, that we respected them and their opinions, we always loved them and told them that and made them know we were the people they should talk to when they needed someone to talk to. We set an expanded set of boundaries every year that reflected their age and the maturity they displayed and allowed them to help us set the rules. And we were ALWAYS consistent. It was tough but we got through it.

You are starting from a good position because you've got a good relationship with your daughter. Try to build on that and see the funny side of what she's doing (without her knowing you think is funny). Good luck.

**Emerald_Mommy** · 01-19-2006, 07:06 PM

I don't have advice, just a hug for you and a repressed shudder for myself and the future.

**pkellyc** · 01-19-2006, 08:39 PM

I just smiled and tried not to curse too much. She will get better it's just so hard now. Too old for some things too young for others. Not only are they figuring out who they are they are finding out that we as parents can not fix everything for them.

My only advice is to stand up for what is right and never ever let them see you sweat.

**SHOPGIRL** · 01-19-2006, 09:54 PM

Marcia,

Welcome to my world

I spend my entire day with 13/14 year olds. I know exactly what your going through. Check out your library for books by Jim Fay. He has a website called loveandlogic.com. He has some books for parents.

You'll make it through this stage. It's such a difficult time for kids.

Just set limits and I'd give her choices. The key is the choices are always o.k. with you. Kids like to feel empowered. That's one of the suggestions that Jim Fay gives.

Good luck! When she's 30, she'll appreciate you again

**momof42003** · 01-20-2006, 12:02 AM

I have an 11 year old who is about to send me around the bend as well.... I do not know what to say to her, or how to act around her... I want to be there for her, but she wants her space... UGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! I don't have a clue... I have been wondering, if I had been the same way at this age... I can't truely find out since both my parents are gone....

I am sure I caused some of the same feelings in my mom, but how in the world did she do it??