Questions and thuoghts about teenage son...

**FrugalMomof3** · 02-27-2006, 04:18 PM

I hope this is the right place to post this but....

I found out yesterday, my son who is 16 has been having sex since he was 15 (he said it was only 3 times).

I am very upset as I was young too and did all the wrong things when I was a teenager and I have told him about these and have told him how I didn't want him to go through what I went through (pregnant and married at 16).

Has anyone eve went through something similar?
Have your son/daughter had sex at an early age? If so, how did you handle it?

I am so confused, I really dont like his girlfriend, she's very obsessive, constantly calling him 24/7, tried to get him to quit his job because there are girls where he works, threatens to get him beat up if he breaks up with her, runs away from home, drinks, etc...)

Please put our family in your prayers!

**Mom23boys** · 02-27-2006, 05:32 PM

Tracy,

I don't know what to say as I haven't had to deal with the situation yet. I just wanted to send you

and let you know that you and your son will be in my prayers.

**FrugalMomof3** · 02-27-2006, 05:34 PM

Thank you! I had a talk with him last night and i told him that I can't tell you NOT to see her anymore but I cut his curfew so it's less time to be with her and I just told him "Dont have sex" your trotting into territory you dont want to be in and couldn't handle should something go wrong.

**Jerseygirl** · 03-08-2006, 01:17 PM

Please make sure you have the protection talk. ---Kellie

**McD** · 03-08-2006, 01:32 PM

And on that note, make sure you explain to him that protection is not fool-proof. I am the proud mother of a 3 week old 'pill baby'.

**dndylfe** · 03-08-2006, 01:46 PM

My brother had this kind of problem when he was a teenager and this is what my parent's did:

They invited his girlfriend on all of our family dinners and parties and game nights. They were very nice to her even though (ugh) she was just about the snottiest girl ever. My sisters and I hated her, but we were pretty nice to her too.

Eventually, my brother could see that she was just shallow and rude, especially to people that he had a lot of respect and love for (this took about six months). And if they were always doing stuff with the family, it made it a whole lot harder to have sex on the sly. He also had pretty low self-esteem at the time which made it easier for her to get her hooks into him.

Anyway, don't be her friend while you're doing this, and don't try to break them up. If your son can see people with happy relationships, it doesn't take him long to figure out that she makes him feel bad.

A side note: it took my brother a couple more years to find a nice girl and she was almost ten years older than him! But she treats him like a king and he loves that she's in charge.

**FrugalMomof3** · 03-08-2006, 02:14 PM

Well found out they broke up! YAY!

He said she was childish and very obsessive that he couldn't take it anymore.

guest7 · 03-08-2006, 05:03 PM

Tracy- nothing you can do to stop him. Give the lecture and minimize opportunities. Can't go back to holding hands. Unless he meets a girl that isn't into it.

Just pray you tought him right!

**Newsnerd68** · 03-08-2006, 07:38 PM

Tracy, as a former teen mom and mother of an almost 21-year-old, I have had similar fears. My son did have sex fairly young, probably about 15-16, but I have talked to him since he was about 10-11 about being careful and responsible and that sex can not only lead to pregnancy, it can kill you. Protection was all-important. I'm happy to say that he is nearly 22 and childless. Whew! I guess just being honest and talking about it is the best thing. Making sex a taboo subject puts teens in the position of turning to friends and that's not always the best way to go.

Hope everything goes well. Hang in there!

**Telephus44** · 03-08-2006, 08:26 PM

I agree with not only having the talk about protection, but also making sure that your kids know that they can talk to you about anything, at any time. I became sexually active when I was in my mid-teens, and I made it through all the way to 27 before I became pregnant (and this was of course both planned and with my husband!). I'm not saying that I had all of the answers when I was 16, but I at least felt informed and responsible (and ALWAYS used protection).

**FrugalMomof3** · 03-08-2006, 08:32 PM

I agree, we have talked to him about everything and I always tell him he can tell me anything, we're pretty much open and honest.

He said he wanted to tell me but was a little scared, I understand that but that when I would have kept repeating "protection".

I love my kids I dont want them to struggle their whole lifes like I have, now I am ok but up until about 5 years ago we weren't and I dont want them to go through the same thing.

**fernykins** · 03-09-2006, 12:28 AM

Well let me tell you my little story..... I have 6 children the first one did ok the decond one got his 16 year old girlfriend pg....... He was 17 when Christopher...... He was 17 when Chris was born They got married 7 weeks before his 18th B-day....... They were married 9 years before he filed for a divorce....... He has custody of his boys (2) My #4 son did the same thing he was 17 and she had just turned 16 when Julia was born. They did not stay together. I have Julia right now because of little Lexi. My # 4 son got married last year, and now has a 21/2 mo old daughter and a 4 year old stepson. They are the only two and thats with being open with them and talking about sex.
Fern