sassy backtalk

**NoDebtMom** · 03-23-2006, 08:20 AM

Any tried and true methods for putting a stop to this? Dd, who is in kindergarten, has really started sassing me lately. We really had a time this morning before school.

I don't like starting out the day like that.

**celina** · 03-23-2006, 08:45 AM

no advice here..but sounds like we both started the morning the same way.....my dd is in kindergarden too and frankly it just speaks volumes for the pro-homeschool side the way this year has gone!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i'll be hoping for some good advice too....good luck

guest7 · 03-23-2006, 08:58 AM

It's a normal part of fledging.

She's tryinig out her wings.

Good news is- you recognized it early so you can nip in the bud.

When you hear such backtalk- a gentle but firm 'that kind of talk is not tolerated with me' ... or 'in this house' or 'from you' while you get down face to face with her- look her straight in the eyes.

Was always effective with me.

2nd time it happened... it only took the 'look' .

You've got to develop the 'look'. You know the one- I'm sure your parents used it.

**halloweenfreak** · 03-23-2006, 09:00 AM

well it must be something in the air cuz my son was doing it too on the way out the door for preschool. but strange thing is he doesn't do it at school. they tell me hes the perfect kid at school. he must like them more then me.

**Vannie** · 03-23-2006, 09:21 AM

Originally posted by halloweenfreak
well it must be something in the air cuz my son was doing it too on the way out the door for preschool. but strange thing is he doesn't do it at school. they tell me hes the perfect kid at school. he must like them more then me.

He likes you best. Children often do not act up in school because they know teacher will not tolerate sassing and bad behavior. Mommy is a little easier

Try saying "My goodness, you sound very angry. Can you tell me what's wrong without yelling/shouting. We'll see what we can do to make it better." That really does work. I agree with Cheryl about getting down to the childs level face to face. You can bend down in front of him/her.

**AmyBoz** · 03-23-2006, 11:26 AM

Originally posted by halloweenfreak
well it must be something in the air cuz my son was doing it too on the way out the door for preschool. but strange thing is he doesn't do it at school. they tell me hes the perfect kid at school. he must like them more then me.

Kids feel safer to misbehave at home because they know that you'll love them, no matter what.

**McD** · 03-23-2006, 11:50 AM

Working in daycare, I got a lot of sassy little two year olds. I asked one girl to help pick up toys and she looked at me and said, "I TOLD you not to bother me." I'm pretty short anyway, but I always crouch down so they can look me in the eyes, and I told her, "Gracie, I don't like it when you talk to me like that. It makes me very sad." None of the kids ever liked making me sad, so they'd say sorry. Another thing that worked is if they were yelling/sassing/throwing a tantrum, I would tell them they had two choices---one was to quit the bad behavior and have a good day, and the other was to keep being naughty and to take a little time to sit in the time-out chair. And then I let them decide what they wanted to do. If they quit, then they could keep playing, coloring, whatever, but if they decided to sit in the time-out chair, then they would go and sit for a bit. It helps them feel like they have some control instead of being bossed all the time, and when they make the right choice, it always made me feel like a million bucks!

**joyb** · 03-23-2006, 09:05 PM

I think it has a lot to do with the child's personality. I raised two daughters born two years apart. I don't ever remember my youngest sassing me, but her sister made a career out of it.

**NoDebtMom** · 03-24-2006, 02:26 PM

Thanks all. Just saddens me, as she is my SWEETIE and never was like this. (and it isn't even that bad of a thing, just want to nip it now)
We are having a family meeting this weekend, and I also really need one on one time with her too.

**inneedofhope** · 04-15-2006, 12:10 AM

My 5 year old gets sassy alot. I think he hears things on TV or elsewhere and thinks its funny, but it's really rude. I usually ask him "was that a kind thing to say?" and he will usually say sorry, sometimes he honestly doesn't realize how rude he is being. If he goes too far with it, he will lose TV time for the day. I don't have any false hopes that it will ever end, especially in this society where sarcasm is almost praised, but hopefully by the time he is grown he'll have a sense of what is and is not appropriate in different social situations.

**baronmom** · 04-15-2006, 09:18 AM

A little hot sauce works well for that. Just enough for them to notice the hotness, and they tend to think before they talk.

**miss_thrifty** · 04-15-2006, 10:19 AM

My oldest son was like that at that age, now he's at it again, he's 13. Very cheeky, and me and hubby are nipping it. groundation is the last alternative adn taking things away, or chores. He's ADHD, so i have to keep on him about alot, without picking on him all the time. I try to now whwn to pick my battles. lol

When he was young, he tested all the time, and nothing stayed in that brain more then 10 minutesa if lucky. I always had to show lots of compassion, he was sensitive about alot of things. And now he shows compassion back, but sometimes puberty rears its ugly face, and ohhhhhhhh he gets on my last nerve. lol