Learn from me! I did a STOOPID thing ... kids, friend, and b'days.

**Early Bird** · 05-06-2006, 06:45 AM

RANT.

Both kids had birthdays recently.

We planned each child's celebration:

Younger DD and two of her friends (ages 9-10):
I'd take them to lunch (all-you-can-eat buffet); then we'd go across the street to a movie. Her big sister would come too.

Two weeks later.

Older DD and five of her friends (ages 11-12):
We'd take them to Pizza Hut; come home for 1 hour; and then go to a movie. After that, a sleepover at our house.

My kids were excited and spent a lot of time planning and daydreaming about their parties.

Here's what blindsided me: The movie snacks.

The younger bunch (first party) had come RIGHT from the restaurant. All you can eat. Desserts. It was 15 minutes since we had last eaten. And, when we got to the movie, the kids begged for snacks. I didn't want my DD to claim, "You ruined my birthday party!" so I bought them a candy snack each. (no drinks though). You know movie prices. It came to about $12.50 for the 4 kids to have candy. GGGGGRRRRR.

Last night was the bigger kids. There were NINE of us (counting me, DH, and DD#2). Pizza Hut went okay -- we pre-ordered, and, though, there were some wierd decisions over toppings, nobody fussed.

Then we came home; nobody wanted cake, so I let them just hang out.

Then, the movie.

We had decided to buy popcorn and drinks. I figured that we could share 3 large popcorns among the 9 of us. But that didn't please the kids: ONE little girl used her own money to buy extra snacks for her and her best friend! I let her do it too. At $4.50 for a drink,and $5 for popcorn I wasn't going to add candy and hot pretzels to MY bill. One little girl commented that she wanted her OWN popcorn.

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**Early Bird** · 05-06-2006, 06:50 AM

RANTING, continued:

What are your thoughts on this?

I personally hate it. And I believe that it is absolutely the sort of thing their parents do regularly!

Once we went to the circus with a group. It was $30 for circus tickets. I figured that was enough. But the other kids' parents bought them MANY souveniers and snacks throughout the show .

My kids were very, very good about not begging for the lightsticks and popcorn and ice creams and coloring books that were hawked. But I know they felt strange sitting next to a friend of theirs who was munching on a $4 ice cream cone.

**YankeeMom** · 05-06-2006, 07:46 AM

I avoid things like this at all costs. Shoot, I don't even like having kids' birthday parties with my family lol. The kids very rarely go to other kids' parties, mostly because we are broke. But there's one girl in my youngest son's class who went so far as to tell me what she wanted my son to get her for her birthday

We do like you do, when we go to the movies, we buy one or two popcorns & one soda to share amongst the six of us. If we want candy, we bring it

Even though this is the norm for us, they still ask. I don't know if they think persistance pays off or what

**Darlene** · 05-06-2006, 08:05 AM

Sorry things went haywire. I have never had parties with other children for my kids b'days. In grade school they did bring in treats to share with classmates on "their" day.
One time Nicole did take 1 friend with her to a Disney stars on ice show for her birthday & Jack was the one to go overboard & buy them each a stuffed animal which was $$. They we're thrilled & so was he.

Here birthdays were celebrated with family and the kids seemed to live thru it without trauma. Wonder how they will deal with b'days for their kids.

Ever watch that show My super sweet 16? Now these kids & their parents are wacked out & delusional. (check out the episode guide) http://www.mtv.com/onair/dyn/sweet_16/about.jhtml

I'm betting your kids had a wonderful time and they will always remember the fun. Hope some of those kids that showed bad manners get a clue soon.

**Early Bird** · 05-06-2006, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by Darlene

Ever watch that show My super sweet 16? Now these kids & their parents are wacked out & delusional. (check out the episode guide) http://www.mtv.com/onair/dyn/sweet_16/about.jhtml

Now THAT was an eyeful! Can you imagine! "I deserve it!"

**pkellyc** · 05-06-2006, 01:18 PM

My kids are grown and still smuggle in snacks. Especially candy, they will buy popcorn. I have a friend who says when her family goes to the movies the first thing you can hear from her family when the lights go out is pssssssst.

When dd's had movie parties I always let it known beforehand that there would be no snacks until after the movies. I would have dd ask everyone what their favorite snack was and then I would go buy it. It was still a lot cheaper than buying it at the movies. I didn't really care if they liked it or not.

Dd's sweet 16 parties were at our house. We provided snacks by the lb. and let them invite as many people as they wanted. My house was over run with teenagers every room was covered in them. We had the best time and so did the kids.

Just wait until your kids graduate high school. One girl had a keg party in her yard. Her mother put a little note in the invitation stating that she would be taking car keys and they would be sleeping out in her backyard in tents. My girls DID NOT attend. The party got so out of hand the police were called. What is wrong with people!

**AmyBoz** · 05-06-2006, 01:41 PM

I'm sorry to hear that, Early Bird.

As I type, Julia is at a birthday party w/dh at Chuck E. Cheese. Between the rental fee, the pizza, and the money they are shelling out for game tokens for the kids, I can't imagine how much it's costing these parents. It's come to be what kids expect.

So far, she has not complained about her home parties w/5 friends, pizza, homemade cake and homemade games. I'm sure the day will come, though, when we need to start making tougher decisions with regards to parties.

**leezza** · 05-06-2006, 03:21 PM

Sorry Early Bird......sounds like you had a nice time.....some kids are just not trained properly that's all....

leezza

**pita1213** · 05-06-2006, 10:33 PM

this year both dks had their parties at chuck e cheese. mil wanted to do that so ok with me.both of us always save the coupons for cec from the sunday paper so those help. ds got to invite 2 boys from school and then dd had 2 from school.
as a kid , my parties were always at home. we rented movies and had a slumber party.
the most we have ever spent on a birthday party for either dk was $80.00 to go bowling with 8 kids. it included 2 hours of bowling, shoe rental and food for them.

i can't beleive that one child wanted her OWN popcorn.

**Lmullin** · 05-07-2006, 08:56 AM

These places that cater to kids (Chuck E CHeese, movies, etc) are so adept at manipulating kids into thinking that they must have all the goodies that go with it. Parents sometimes don't stand a chance! The only thing that works with my kids (and sometimes it doesn't work) is I say to them ahead of time, "We're going to the movies, and we're not buying any food there and we're not putting a quarter in the machine on the way out." If I made the statement ahead of time and get them to agree with it, we're ok. Unfortunately, when you bring other kids along, that's not always an option. It's a constant struggle.

**miss_thrifty** · 05-07-2006, 01:16 PM

youngets didn't ahve party this year or freinds over, he had family nite, just the four of us!!Homemade cake, he put the smarties on it!! I made his favourite meal!! Then we played games and watched avcr movie we had here. Oh we bought him a Game Cube Game($18.99) in advance 2months before)
Last year it was just befire we moved, so he took his bestf riend came to town, went to McDonalds(used his aunts birthday certictes) and took them to dolar store and let them pick out 5 things they wanted.

This year oldest wants to do same as youngest except the game thing. His favourite food, a small gift, and watch amovie with him.

**miss_thrifty** · 05-07-2006, 01:19 PM

Oh and when we go to movies, not very often, and lately seems never, lol
We go to dollar store before hand and buy treats there and sneak in with us. And we still have coupons form cereal boxes. Some are free passes ans some are $2.00 off. We won't go for awhile, gott get caught up on bills. This wek will be first paycheck for us from new job.

**my3lilmonsters** · 05-08-2006, 12:06 PM

We told the kids this weekend that for at least the next month(maybe the whole summer) we are going to be doing things that are FREE for entertainment. And that includes no souveniers except for the pictures I take. Im so sick of doing something fun as a family and have it ruined by the kids begging for some overpriced toy. Saturday we went to a nature center for their Raptor Release Day, had a great time watching them release hawks and eagles back to the wild, they had some free crafts and saw snakes and turtles. Then ds1(9yrs) was crabby when we left because we didnt get them stuffed eagles or something.

**Early Bird** · 05-08-2006, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by my3lilmonsters

I'm so sick of doing something fun as a family and have it ruined by the kids begging for some overpriced toy.

I know what you mean. we solved this problem with my DC by giving allowances. We will loan them the money to pay for an overpriced toy -- if they pay us back IMMEDIATELY when we return home. Most times, they don't have enough saved up. So, the $17 stuffed animal just doesn't get bought.

But their friends are used to getting EVERYTHING their little hearts desire, even if it's a momentary desire. I once saw a two of DD's friends with their dad at a Kite Festival. The friends' dad -- call him Steve -- bought his daughter a new kite from the festival vendors ($$$) ... because their kite was in his wife's car; and the wife had driven to a family party 50 miles away. We were leaving about the time Steve & kids arrived, so we offered to loan them one of our kites. Steve thanked us politely, but declined. His DD's would want their own kites. The festival was going on for another whole day; long after the kite-in-the-car would be home. There was no admission charge or parking fee for the festival; and it was an all-day festival. So there wasn't anything to prevent them from coming back that evening or even the next day. AND ... THEY LIVE ONE MILE AWAY FROM THE KITE FLYING GROUNDS!

He also bought his kids snacks -- almost as soon as they arrived.

We, otoh, brought our kites from home (one was a gift; and one had been bought at Sam's Club). We brought snacks; it was allowed. The kids participated in a free kite workshop. AND we didn't break out our snacks the moment we arrived.

I dunno. Why would you spend $25 on a kite from a vendor ... and $8 on snacks when you already have a kite ... and when you live 1 mile from the event? Traffic wasn't bad. And those snacks were bought almost as soon as the family arrived. I'll bet they either left after 20 minutes .... or bought more snacks an hour later.

Well, people like that support the vendors who support the festival ... so I shouldn't complain.

But I learned my lesson about taking the kids' friends anywhere that overpriced merchandise is sold.