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Thread: Fed up!!!!!

  1. 05-06-2006, 06:36 PM #1
    baxjul
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    Default Fed up!!!!!

    Okay BIG RANT!!!! My FIL lives with us - he pays for nothing!!!!!! My dh won't ask him for any money, because ????????? So, last week, we made the agreement that he would do the cooking and buy the groceries - well, today we bought all of the groceries!!!! And he didn't pay for any of them! I want to ask him for rent money, but dh says to wait until the time is right - been waiting for three months! I'm soooooo angry!

    Is it just me, or should he be contributing to the household?
    6 yr. Breast Cancer Survivor!
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  2. 05-06-2006, 06:38 PM #2
    dwallyfam
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    Yes he should be contributing something to the household. Does he do any chores? or help out with the kids?

    Kellie
    Kellie

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  3. 05-06-2006, 06:39 PM #3
    baxjul
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    Well, he watches dd for about 1 hour every day Mon. - Fri. Other than that all he does is sit and drink beer, and gets drunk every night!
    6 yr. Breast Cancer Survivor!
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  4. 05-06-2006, 06:44 PM #4
    nodmicks
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    I think you are 100% right to expect more!!!!
    ~July 19 saving goal for event $104/$1000
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  5. 05-06-2006, 06:48 PM #5
    brenda67
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    He absolutely should be paying his way! I realize it's a bit uncomfortable situation with your DH..but you shouldn't have to ask your FatherInlaw...he should be just giving you xxx amount to live there...Sounds to me like your really getting taken for a ride...
    Wife to Keith
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  6. 05-06-2006, 06:51 PM #6
    baxjul
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    Thank you! My dh and I had an argument about it today, so now he is mad at me! I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't blowing things out of proportion!
    6 yr. Breast Cancer Survivor!
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  7. 05-06-2006, 08:23 PM #7
    leezza
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    Bax,

    Just a question: Is your DH ok with him drinking all day and being around your children?????

    Besides driving you crazy, and not contributing......it sounds like FIL is a bad influence on your children........doesn't DH see this????

    No disrespect ment just trying to understand.

    leezza
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  8. 05-06-2006, 08:45 PM #8
    Lorri
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    I would remind him of the agreement for groceries and hand him the receipt. I feel for you. If we wait for the right time for things, most things never get done. Good Luck and hugs to you.
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  9. 05-06-2006, 09:25 PM #9
    baxjul
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    The one thing that he does do, is wait until one of us is home before he starts drinking! He drinks plain iced tea during the day! Otherwise, I wouldn't let him watch her! He usually starts around 5:00 (when I get home!).
    6 yr. Breast Cancer Survivor!
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  10. 05-06-2006, 09:46 PM #10
    Cele
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    This is the kind of situation that can kill (or least maim) a marriage. FIL has it made unless and until you and DH get on the same page. Doesn't sound like that's happening.

    Is FIL living with you for a set time? Does your husband feel guilty or responsible for his father's situation?

    I know it's easier said than done, but you and DH really need to set boundaries...in terms of monetary support and acceptable behavior. Otherwise, you will be uncomfortable in your own home...and that isn't fair to you.
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  11. 05-06-2006, 10:13 PM #11
    Kimberlina
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    Julie, is he able to do anything else, or does he have some sort of disablility that prevents him from doing so? Is he retired?

    This is hard, but I think it has to be your husband that needs to approach him. I think you and your DH really need to have a hreat to heart about what is going on, why he won't ask FIL to pay for anything, why DH feels the way he does.... Is he feeling guilty about asking his father? If you FIL has an income, he should be contributing in some way. It is NOT the same as the way his father took care of him when he is a kid- parents are SUPPOSED to support their kids. He should be contributing at least a LITTLE to your household.
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  12. 05-07-2006, 08:17 AM #12
    Darlene
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    Cele & Kimberly said what I was going to. Time for Dh to stop fearing the wrath of his father and do what's right. He has to be the one to do it and if he doesn't all you will do is to continue to resent him & your FIL. Not sure if you set ground rules before he moved in but it's not to late to now. Wishing your hubby what he needs to set guidelines and sticking to them.
    ~*Darlene*~
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