Need Some advice ladies 18 year old in trouble

**jade73** · 12-15-2006, 10:00 PM

Hi Ladies,Need some advice my 18 year old dd is in such a depression.(sorry if words are mis spelled)She has been with her boy friend for 2 year and on 12-3-06 he told her he needs his space.What ever that is???She at first was ok but now she is a mess.She has lost 12 pounds she is so depressed I need help.I talked to him on the phone and he say he still loves her BUT I am so lost I fell so bad for her.I like Chad he is a good boy I just wish he would make a choice.Sorry to dump at Christmas But I do need all of your prayers.Merry Christmas

**emily_hope** · 12-15-2006, 10:53 PM

Sending (((HUGS))) to you and your DD. I am sorry that she is going through this. I do hope she perks up soon. I will say a prayer for her. I am sorry that I don't have any good advice for you. Hopefully someone else here at the village has some for you.

**MOMMYDEAREST** · 12-16-2006, 09:04 AM

oh your poor daughter. sound slike her little heart is just crushed. sorry no advice for you. my oldest daughter is only 12 so we haven't went through the first heartbreak yet, but i will keep your dd in my prayers.

**nuisance26** · 12-16-2006, 09:23 AM

~I'm so sorry! I guess she was more serious about him than he was about her. My advice to you is to stay out of it. Support and listen to her but don't try to fix it. You won't be helping her. Depression is anger turned inward. She has nothing to punish herself for. She deserves to be with someone who wants to be with her more than anything else. People often lose weight while their grieving. My SIL lost 20-25 lbs after 2 of her break-ups and needed anti-depressants with one of them. If your daughter doesn't perk up in a couple of weeks get her to a Doctor fast!~

**kymom** · 12-16-2006, 10:54 AM

I just went thru the same thing with my daughter. She lost 22 pounds , cried all the time. I just tried to keep things normal for her. I told the guy either you are with her or your not. No mind games . He said he was confused and needed space . I really like the boy so I told him I understood. I asked him why he felt this way he said it felt they were moving too fast and didn't know how to tell her so he paniced. They had no contacted for three weeks. I told him I had to get my daughter back together and he needed to get him together. Well after three weeks they came face to face. She was so cool. She said hello and he asked her what she had been up too. Well then she told him how she had got into college,got a job and a house. He was stunned!
They talked all night on our porch. And are back together. I think his problem was he was afraid he would let her down. That he would have to be the backbone of the relationship. And she showed him she could stand on her own.
I don't have any great advice. Just be her Mom and love her. Good luck to you both.

**pkellyc** · 12-16-2006, 03:41 PM

I have a dd who went through this. I suggest you take her in for a physical. My dd was under weight and developed problems with malnutrition and dehydration. She also needs to get a handle on the situation for her it's like a family member has died.

**lottaLove** · 12-16-2006, 04:18 PM

I think she just needs some time. If she doesn't start to get better at all over the next few weeks, then I would bring her to the doctor, but time is the only cure for a broken heart.
Whenever I had my heart broken through highschool, hanging out with the girls always made me feel better. As days go by, things should start to look up. She will find other things to think about, and not be crying all the time. Encourage her to go out, and take her out places she enjoys, like skiing or swimming, anything to take her mind off him. Don't push it though, or you might make her feel as though you don't think what she is going through is important.

**Jill B.** · 12-16-2006, 06:01 PM

One of the hardest things for me was when DD2 split up with her fiance. She would call crying on the phone and there was little I could say or do. Just be there and love her. I remember a heart break I suffered when I was her age and it was so awful and I was full of anguish. No one could do anything for me except the man who was my love.

Good luck and maybe try to get her to eat and take care of herself. Let her know you love her and support her. It is hard because we feel helpless and we are. We can not heal a child's broken heart.

**Missy** · 12-16-2006, 07:37 PM

It's hard, I know. Just be there for her, watch her pretty close. If she needs it, take her to the doc.

on a side note, dh and i dated all through highschool. he needed space and then we were married. LOL

**Pyratekk** · 12-20-2006, 04:42 PM

As someone who went through a similar situation as your daughter about 3 (almost 4) years ago when I was 17, all I can tell you to do is just be there for her. Make sure that she knows that you are there for her emotionally and keep reminding her that things get better. I wish my mom had done something like that for me, but instead I ended up in a downward spiral...It was during that time (not meaning to scare you) that I experimented with drugs and alcohol because I was hoping that SOMETHING would make me feel better and take my mind off the pain. Just be her rock, she'll appreciate it and soon enough she'll get out of her funk.

Good luck, and you and your DD are in my prayers

**jade73** · 12-21-2006, 11:03 PM

Hi Again,And thanks to all of you for the advice.DD is doing much better.Each day I see her trying and also feeling just alittle bit better.Her boyfriend and her have talked and yes he loves her and does not wont to break up with her.he just got scared.WHY DO MEN DO THINGS LIKE THIS?????????? They are going to get together on Christmas and have dinner.She told him she was not going just sit around and wait for him GREAT FOR HER.I just like to say thanks to all of you.And Merry Christmas.

**Daisygirl** · 12-26-2006, 04:35 PM

I remeber being heart-broken around that age. When I talked to my mom about it she downplayed it and made me feel kind of silly. I never confided inher again. The best advice I can give is for you to take this as seriously as your daughter does. Not only will you help her through this rough spot, but you will build a trusting adult friendship with her.

Good luck, and hugs to both of you.

**emily_hope** · 12-27-2006, 12:01 AM

I am glad that your DD is feeling better!

**SISSY816** · 12-30-2006, 10:19 PM

I certainly feel for your daughter, this same thing happened to me at 18. Yet as time went by, I realized that, him being honest with me, may have kept us from a life of unhappiness. God knows our hearts, and will send her true love, in due time. I have mine now after 25 years!!!! Patience is worth the wait.....