Rude People (rather long vent)

**Neeley** · 03-20-2007, 03:22 PM

I am so bothered right now by the absolute lack of manners shown by so many children and adults. I have mentioned before that DS, John, is growing his hair out for Locks of Love. He has the most beautiful thick hair. It has big locks of curls that any girl would die for. Honestly, we get so many compliments on how beautiful his hair is. It is a shame DD did not get his hair. His hair right now is seven inches long from root to tip. I admit, it is not what you would expect to see on an 11 year old boy in ultra-conservative Montgomery, Alabama. Even with the compliments he receives for his hair and the support he gets from his friends and their parents, he still gets lots of stares and double takes. Today we pulled in to get some breakfast. I sat in the truck, John and Chris(DH) went inside to place the order. Keep in mind I read lips. When John gets out of the truck, this lady sitting at a table with two kids (around seven yeas old) starts saying "Look at that boy, look over there at that boy with that long hair. Boys don't need long hair. Can you believe his hair is that long." She went on and on. I admit, I have a short temper at times. She really got my blood boiling. So I got up, walked inside and over to her. I leaned down, politely and quietly said "I read lips. That boy is my son and he is growing his hair out to donate to Locks of Love." I then turned around and walked back out to my truck. I continued to read her lips. She told the two kids how rude I was. (yes, in many people's eyes that is probably true). Then her kids began questioning what Locks of Love was and she explained. I am amazed grown adults would set such a bad example for their kids. Actually, I am not so amazed, my dad has no arms and growing up the adults were the rude ones, not the kids.

So then we get to about four hours later. John went to lunch with his daddy, baseball coach and four teammates. The boys went back to the gameroom and two girls started messing with John about his hair. They were calling him a girl and a few other names he won't repeat. According to my husband, these girls were with a school group that was not well supervised. They were all misbehaving and being disruptive. Obviously no home training at all.

I know kids will pick on each other and that is just a part of growing up. I don't think I am quite as bothered by the children as I am by the adults. Like I said, John does look different because of the hair for one but he is also built like a man. He is taller than most of friends and is 175 lbs of solid muscle. But he has more heart and compassion than you can imagine. He is the sterotypical "gentle giant". He looks like he could break you in half, but won't even step on an ant and is always there to help. After having these experiences and several other similar ones, John has told me he will never pick on someone and hope he sticks to that. At 11 he has more maturity than many adults I have encountered, including myself. He told me that I need to let it go and not get so upset when people talk. I swear the roles are reversed here.

Ok - thanks for letting me vent. Sometimes I think he should just cut his hair and not do the donation. But he wants to go through with it and says he is going to do it again. I am just still so upset about that lady.Urrrrgggggg!!!! Some people!!!

**FrugalMomof3** · 03-20-2007, 03:37 PM

I think it's a very special thing your DS is doing by growing his hair for locks-of-love, I did that a while ago and it felt wonderful.

Your right people can be so judgemental it's a shame, sometimes I wish people would mind their own business and let people do what they want instead of questioning everything.

**tbs727** · 03-20-2007, 04:37 PM

Your son should be proud of what he is doing. Those people are just ignorant. I'm so sorry you had to endure that. Good for you for sticking up for him.

**Darlene** · 03-20-2007, 04:54 PM

Some people are idiots.
Hope your son holds that compassionate, smart, head (with beautiful long hair) high and smiles knowing that it doesn't matter what people think. What really matters is who you are & what you do. He's way ahead of the game there.

**Dixie** · 03-20-2007, 05:29 PM

I think he's doing a wonderful thing! I'm sorry he has had to deal with such rude people.

**McD** · 03-20-2007, 05:47 PM

Your son is a brave, sweet boy. This will/can be a great learning experience for him as he now hows how to let what other people say roll off his back.

I deal with rude people all the time. Many times I smile and let it roll off my back, especially if I'm with my son. I need to set a good example even if he's only 13 months.

Nothing gets me more angry then people who come up to talk to my son and when he refuses to look at them they say he's shy. I explain to them that he has been taught not to acknowledge strangers. They get all huffy and crabby. That irks me. Do they not know that their are weirdos in this world? Grrr.

**YankeeMom** · 03-20-2007, 06:25 PM

People just don't think there could be any other reason than the ones they want to believe. They also don't think before they speak, unfortunately. Good for you for speaking up to that woman. She should have been ashamed.

**annymoll** · 03-20-2007, 06:42 PM

I think your son is doing a wonderful thing. I do think however, that if a person is sitting at a table and is quietly talking, what they say is none of my business.Even if it means to talk about me or mine. If the only way I can tell what they are saying is to read their lips, I would assume that they do not intend for me to hear the conversation. If they are speaking loud enough for me to hear that would be a different matter. People will talk, no matter what.You have a son to be proud of.

**IntlMom** · 03-20-2007, 08:48 PM

Good for you for saying something to the lady.....it's times like that that my "mommy instincts" kick in!

**acidcookie** · 03-20-2007, 09:01 PM

What he is doing is beautiful and anyone who can't appreciate it is just stupid.

**Edna_E** · 03-20-2007, 09:15 PM

Sounds like you've got a nice kid. I'm lucky and have one too. Mine was always an oddball because he liked wearing slacks rather than jeans (we're in cowboy country here). That worked in his favor when he reached employable age - he pretty much always gets an offer so far.

I hope you can explain to your son that people have been persecuted throughout history for being kind, good, honorable, and innocent. They also MUST continue to be so in order to set an example for people who have never been exposed to kindness. My son opens doors for people - ALL people. He has gotten enough attention for it in Austin, that other people around him have started doing it too. It's a small thing, but it shows that people CAN learn by example.

**miss_thrifty** · 03-20-2007, 09:25 PM

I dont think u did the wrong thing to tell her what you siad. WTG!! understand as a mother I understand how u feel. When we moved to the city(town) from the country my oldest had very short hair and was in cadets but then decided no more. The kids picked at him so bad, he was the outcast because he didnt wear pants down to his knees(u know the ones that show ur undies almost)lol and the hair was abig thing.
he kept it tidy and very short and now he keeps it long all over because to fit in. I felt so bad for him. It doesnt bother me that they have long hair, some it looks good one, some dont. Its just style.
sO I FEEL FOR U. I just wish mine could of standed up for himself but it was bad, he was the outsider in a new school. And these kids have no manners in town.
Im proud of your son. He's doing something really good for a great purpose.

**littlemotherhaywood** · 03-21-2007, 10:42 AM

Your ds sounds like an amazing young man. I'm sorry that people are so rude and ignorant and I'm glad to hear that your ds is taking knowledge away from those experiences. Frankly, that mother should be ashamed of herself. She set an awful example for her children and even worse when she blamed you for your rudeness. It's rude parents that raise rude children that become the rude adults we all abhor.

**sixfreds** · 03-24-2007, 07:54 AM

That is a great thing he is doing. Locks of Love is a great thing to grow hair for.

Not to be rude but I wanted to say you reading that ladies lips and then interrupting on that ladies private conversation was also rude. If she was loud and said something to your son then you should say something to her but just because she doesn't like long hair and was talking privately about it doean't mean you should be rude to her.

If it was something loud enough that you heard it then I agree you need to tell then so they don't jude what your son looks like, but that comes with looking different in any way people wonder why and don't understand.

just what I think,
Eileen

**JerryG** · 03-24-2007, 10:52 AM

I believe you were correct in setting the lady right in the restuarant, however, I think some of the "reactions" your son is getting is a product of where you live. We live in Phoenix and my son frequently grows his hair out long (sometimes longer than mine and mine is halfway down my back!). That said, I can't remember getting any "comments" even when he proceeded to dye it blue and red! So sorry that you live in that type of an environment but REALLY! The donation speaks for itself! GO JOHN!!