Unappreciated

**lwlynch** · 06-26-2007, 02:16 PM

Do you sometimes feel that when you are making your home, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids, animals and over all everything, a little underappreciated?
My day..
I wake up in the morning at 6am
Make the beds, get dressed, and put the dogs out. (so they don't eat the kids I watch.)
at 7am I wash all the dishes from last night and fix the coffee for the next day, fixing a small cup from the leftover from when my husband left. (not to waste a drop)
A little after 7 the first child comes, then by 9 am I am watching all of them. I feed those that don't have breakfast and in between I try to feed my own two children. I sit outside with them all until about 9:30 (until it starts to get hot outside) Bringing them in I get them all fixed and ready to play on certain centers. Meanwhile by 10:30 I start lunch for the smaller ones, change them and put them to bed to watch tv for 30 minutes until I get the older ones feed and comfortable for a bit, so I can actually take a break.
After they are all set, asleep and I wash dishes, prepared dinner and begin to relax, doing the email and bills. By 2 it is time for them all to get up.
I give them all snacks and continue the rest of the day. They are all gone by 6.
At 6 I fix my family dinner, eat, and wash dishes. I straighten up all where everyone was and finally if I am lucky I go and lay down by 7 to relax. I then am usually up running my kids around to get them settled for the evening. Meanwhile my husband is usually already parked at the computer. DD is already in her room, door shut and watching tv. And I am left with my DS who is 10 and ready for action. As I make him go read, or sleep. I am exhausted.
I do this 5 days a week and then catch up on my house on the weekends. I just sometimes feel that all the saving, making my own meals, and penny pinching is so much work. Believe it or not sometimes I feel so over looked that maybe I am lazy.. but I don't think so. I guess I am just venting.. maybe I need a vacation. Or I need to see a shrink...hahaha...thanks for listening

**justpeachy92** · 06-26-2007, 02:21 PM

I think at times we all feel this way, when I feel it the most is when I am asked to do something but the sentence starts with "since you have nothing better to do"........thanks for pointing out I have no life beyond being a wife and mom.

**latierra84** · 06-26-2007, 02:26 PM

oh.. i bet if you were to take a vacation and the house and your fam were left to fend for themselves, theyd really appreciate you then!

sometimes i feel this way at my house, although its only me and DH, no children between the two of us. he can usually tell by the way that i "clean" (ie, storm around and set things down hard and throw things across the room) that i am not happy. it always seems like we have this "fight" .. not really fight more like.. im talking and he's listening, every few months. i feel like i take care of everything and that i am not appreciated. most of the time, if we eat out he pays for it. if we eat in, i pay for the groceries and i do the cooking and the cleanup/dishes. - i try to cook at home as much as possible to save us money but sometimes i dont think that he sees it that way and instead just sees it as me cooking for the two of us.

now ive gone on and on about myself. sorry.

**wanderlusting** · 06-26-2007, 02:28 PM

You're not lazy-that's a LOT for any person to have on their plate

**itsahumanzoo** · 06-26-2007, 02:28 PM

I feel you! When DH comes home from work and eats dinner, then goes straight to the bedroom, he gets an earful. I just want a thank you for dinner when I make it. I don't have to make dinner for him, you know?

**nodmicks** · 06-26-2007, 02:29 PM

I sure hear you. There is no way you are even a tad lazy. Extra kids even. I get tired of working pt and cleaning up after dh and 2 kids. I give you lots of credit!!!!

**tbs727** · 06-26-2007, 03:47 PM

I totally understand and I'm sure many of us can relate. You aren't alone and you aren't lazy!!! I don't know what the solution is, but I feel a little better because I was just thinking about posting the same basic thing. I hope you get some apprecaition, but even if you don't, just know that we appreciate what you do!

**Buckeye5** · 06-26-2007, 03:50 PM

I think that we all have felt this way...but I coouldn't stand it anymore and quit my deadend job...and getting up at 4 am to go to it. I figured it was just not enough money at the time to continue to put myseld through it.

**bumplett** · 06-26-2007, 04:00 PM

ohhhh yeah!! I've heard the horrid comment "since you don't have to get up to go to work in the morning" or "since you don't have anything else to do"

UGG!!!

I think you should take a small weekend vacation with hubby

((just the two of you)) *wink *wink

**Jaded** · 06-26-2007, 04:20 PM

I used to feel that way, when I was with my ex. You finally reach a breaking point. Sounds like you're close to yours.

My ex was so bad with money, that I had to take his debit card away from him, because he kept overdrawing us at the bank. When I worked, he took that as a cue that he could golf more, and he spent half of what I brought home on golf fees.

I'm just happy I don't have to answer to anyone else anymore. Now if my house is a mess, I have no one to blame but myself, and darn it, I'm fine with it!

**lwlynch** · 06-26-2007, 04:52 PM

You know I want to say thanks for all the support, I guess sometimes it is just great to hear some feedback instead of my own mind. You know how it is when you talk to yourself. I feel much better, cause you know sometimes, I think I do it to myself. I am so good at what I do that it is expected. Maybe I should become a ditz...naww.... just joking.. I refuse to be anything but myself. Thanks again.

**McD** · 06-26-2007, 05:51 PM

I felt that way constantly and I would harp on my husband about how I felt like I did everything and he did nothing. Then he left for Iraq and I realized how much he did and I feel really bad.

Not saying that is the case for you, but I think it is normal human behavior to feel underappreciated, esp. when we feel like we are doing SO much and no one else is contributing. Best thing to do, in my opinion, is to just to set down and talk with the kids, hubby and explain what they can do that will help you out or will ease some of your stress.

**AmyMCGS** · 06-26-2007, 06:04 PM

I felt that way a lot before I got into Flylady... she talks about this... but there are still days when I feel completely unappreciated.

I do tend to leave my giagantic weekly to-do list out where DH can see it on the kitchen counter... just in case he wonders what I'm doing all day.

And, lo and behold, once in a while he will quietly do something on my list and cross it off "for me".

**kaykwilts** · 06-26-2007, 06:34 PM

I had those same feelings yesterday. Feel like the kids need to help more around the house and I can't get them to do anything unless I nag.

**pip** · 06-26-2007, 06:50 PM

I understand your feelings and I "only" have three kids plus hubby to take care of. Your days sound hard. You have a right to feel tired.
I've just recently figured out some bare minimum routines to do to keep things moving and the house to look basically OK, not perfect by any means.
Anyway, tell yourself that you are doing great because it sounds like you are!