6-month-old refuses to sleep through night - experience/advice?

**lukesmama** · 06-26-2007, 02:48 PM

My first son, now 2, was an angel when it came to sleeping at night. He didn't resist being put on a schedule with his naps. He slept 12 hours a night by the time he was about 3-4 months old; he slept a good uninterrupted 6 hours+ starting when he was 8 weeks.

So, my experience with my second son has really taken me by surprise, and I have no idea how to handle this...

He won't sleep at night. We finally broke down and did the "put them in their crib and let them cry themselves to sleep" thing when he turned 6 months, and it worked well as far as him falling asleep on his own...meaning, now I can put him in his crib awake and he won't fuss for more than a minute or two before settling down to sleep (but only at bedtime, not when he wakes up).

However, he won't *stay* asleep! He wakes up a good 3-4 times a night, wanting to be held (and only by me). I have to wait until he's solidly back asleep to put him back down, which sometimes takes a while, because he gets hysterical if he's not unconscious when I put him back in bed. Last night I tried just letting him get hysterical after rocking him and putting him back down awake...he then screamed his head off for a solid HOUR. (Note that I checked on him every 10-15 minutes to make sure he was okay, and tried to soothe him before leaving again.)

My husband works and needs to sleep at night. My older son shares a room with his little brother and I'm sure he really doesn't appreciate all the commotion when he's trying to sleep. (We've considered moving the baby's crib into another room but don't want to cause more disruption, especially if we can solve this problem quickly.) Not to mention, I personally am not too far from being a zombie nowadays.

Thank goodness for caffeine!

All this to say -

P.S. I realize teething could be a factor; I've been trying Tylenol and Orajel at bedtime to help soothe him, and I'm convinced it does no good...

**Radish4ever** · 06-26-2007, 02:56 PM

I don't really have any advice! My DS is 5 months and wakes 3-5 times a night to nurse......we cosleep

**frugalwanttobe** · 06-26-2007, 03:13 PM

I was thinking.... How about some white noise?. ie a loud fan....I know for some adults this really helps them sleep longer...I have used it through the years for my kids.... You said your children share a room so I am not sure what your 2 year old is like though. I would not want him putting his fingers in the fan. All 2 year olds are different... my daughter would never have even thought of putting her finger in a fan...she was super careful even at 2...my son I may not have trusted with a fan in his room at 2.

It is so hard when kids have sleeping problems because it really does upset the household. I wish I had some really good ideas. Have you asked the pediatrician?

**lukesmama** · 06-26-2007, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by frugalwanttobe

I was thinking.... How about some white noise?. ie a loud fan....I know for some adults this really helps them sleep longer...I have used it through the years for my kids.... You said your children share a room so I am not sure what your 2 year old is like though. I would not want him putting his fingers in the fan. All 2 year olds are different... my daughter would never have even thought of putting her finger in a fan...she was super careful even at 2...my son I may not have trusted with a fan in his room at 2.

It is so hard when kids have sleeping problems because it really does upset the household. I wish I had some really good ideas. Have you asked the pediatrician?

Well, our pediatrician suggested that I have the baby cry it out (at bedtime) and then he ought to be able to comfort himself back to sleep if he awakens during the night.

Apparently, my son doesn't realize this is what he "ought" to do, though....

(re: a fan in their room - yeah, the 2yo is too curious for that to really be safe in our case...you have given me an idea, though...maybe a white noise cd? We almost bought one 4 months ago while in the throes of colic!)

**frugalfriend** · 06-26-2007, 03:54 PM

I know it may be really hard to do, but it takes three nights to break the habit. And a habit is what he has. Those three nights will be hard, but they will pay off and everyone, especially your son, will be happier and well rested. Do not put him down sound asleep, but let him develop this normal, healthy habit of falling back asleep on his own. He will do it with a little prodding and patience. Do not pick him up, this will make things worse. Pat his back the first time and leave the room. After that, when you know he's just waking out of habit, don't go in. Maybe have your older son sleep in another room for these three nights. You are checking on your son (without him seeing you!), he is fine, ie: his foot/leg is not caught in the crib, he is not sick, he doesn't have a dirty diaper, etc., so don't worry that you are ignoring him! He will not remember these nights, or be scarred for life like some people will try to tell you. You are teaching him a good habit that will benefit him and the entire family.

When the first night comes and the whole family peacefully sleeps through the night and wakes up rested and happy you will realize your hard work has paid off! Your son will be getting the much needed, uninterrupted sleep he needs and will thrive.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, I only want to help. I have seen this situation work again and again with several friends and family. My two boys slept through the night at 8 weeks, my daughter at 9 weeks.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

**lukesmama** · 06-26-2007, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by frugalfriend

I know it may be really hard to do, but it takes three nights to break the habit. And a habit is what he has. Those three nights will be hard, but they will pay off and everyone, especially your son, will be happier and well rested. Do not put him down sound asleep, but let him develop this normal, healthy habit of falling back asleep on his own. He will do it with a little prodding and patience. Do not pick him up, this will make things worse. Pat his back the first time and leave the room. After that, when you know he's just waking out of habit, don't go in. Maybe have your older son sleep in another room for these three nights. You are checking on your son (without him seeing you!), he is fine, ie: his foot/leg is not caught in the crib, he is not sick, he doesn't have a dirty diaper, etc., so don't worry that you are ignoring him! He will not remember these nights, or be scarred for life like some people will try to tell you. You are teaching him a good habit that will benefit him and the entire family.

When the first night comes and the whole family peacefully sleeps through the night and wakes up rested and happy you will realize your hard work has paid off! Your son will be getting the much needed, uninterrupted sleep he needs and will thrive.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, I only want to help. I have seen this situation work again and again with several friends and family. My two boys slept through the night at 8 weeks, my daughter at 9 weeks.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

No, no, not harsh at all...

"Do not put him down sound asleep, but let him develop this normal, healthy habit of falling back asleep on his own." This part is what I meant when I said I'm letting him cry it out when I put him down for the night - at bedtime, I let him fuss a bit and fall asleep on his own. I don't let him fall asleep in my arms anymore at bedtime.

As far as the suggestion you've made, let me make sure I understand correctly - you mean when he wakes up, check on him (without letting him see me) and just don't pick him up at all?

That's an idea I hadn't considered. Hmm. Thank you for putting that one on the table!

**frugalfriend** · 06-26-2007, 04:21 PM

Yes, don't pick him up. Of course like I said earlier, this doesn't apply if he is sick. He will finally "get it" that you are not coming in to hold him or rock him and he will go back to sleep on his own. He is tired and cranky during the middle of the night, right? So what he really needs is just to break the habit of waking up and go back to sleep. It is *great* that he is already falling asleep on his own at bedtime. So that is a good sign he can do the same thing during the night too.

**lukesmama** · 06-26-2007, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by frugalfriend

Yes, don't pick him up. Of course like I said earlier, this doesn't apply if he is sick. He will finally "get it" that you are not coming in to hold him or rock him and he will go back to sleep on his own. He is tired and cranky during the middle of the night, right? So what he really needs is just to break the habit of waking up and go back to sleep. It is *great* that he is already falling asleep on his own at bedtime. So that is a good sign he can do the same thing during the night too.

Thank you, I will try this tonight! I'll let y'all know how it went tomorrow...

**frugalfriend** · 06-26-2007, 04:46 PM

I'll be thinking of you! Just remember it will take a few nights to break the habit and some crying. But in the long run, so worth it, and all of this will be behind you!

**McD** · 06-26-2007, 05:39 PM

I know it sounds silly, but Wesley sleeps much better when I use the Johnson's Bath Bedtime products....it's soothing.

**AmyMCGS** · 06-26-2007, 05:54 PM

I vote for co-sleeping, too... although I know not everyone will agree.

Both my kids were preemies and woke to eat every three hours (or sooner) until they were 8-9months old, or older. I co-slept a lot with DD (DH was on night shift a lot); with DS we've done it less but still some nights it's the only way anyone gets any sleep.

Actually, DS just turned one last week, and it's only in the last two months that he's slept through the night. Once in a while now he'll wake around 4am... I plop him into bed with me and he happily goes back to sleep.

I've tried the "let them cry it out" thing, and it's not for me... it breaks my heart to hear them screaming. But I think that's something each parent has to decide for themselves... I know it's worked for a lot of people. It's funny because I'm more strict on some things (sugar, for one) than other parents, but yet I can't stand the "cry it out" idea... LOL.

On the other hand, I totally understand about having to have the baby completely asleep before you lay him down... that's exactly how DS is. The only thing that's worked for me if he awakens after I've laid him in his crib for the night is to give him a small bottle with a little warm water in it. I KNOW you're not supposed to let them have bottles in bed, but, he'll suck on it for a minute or two and then he's right back asleep, so in my book, that's not hurting anything. I'm trying to get him to take a pacifier instead of the bottle, but so far, he wants no part of it.

Good luck!!

**Cricket1** · 06-26-2007, 08:21 PM

Here's what I did with my pediatrician's recommendations. When he wakes up, go in and rub his back and say "sshhhh" gently. Then leave the room. Of course he will still be freaking out. Go in five minutes later and do the same thing. Keep adding on five minutes so you go in after the first 5 minutes, 10 minutes from the last visit, 15 minutes from the second visit....see what I mean? Here's an example: he wakes at 8 p.m., go in at 8:05, 8:15, 8:30, 8:50. With my son, I didn't have to go in a fourth time--he would just get back to sleep. After I learned this trick from the doctor, I would not pick him up when he woke. I realize that not everything works for every child--this is just what worked for mine.

Also, are you feeding him when he wakes? I was guilty of that with my first ds. Again--a little trickery was in order. I could do this b/c he was bottle fed. Over a two week (or maybe it was even one week), I just kept adding more and more water to his formula so he got to the point where I was only feeding him water at night. He must have figured it wasn't worth it because he stopped waking at night.

Good luck. I remember what it was like to be sleep deprived.

**freerangers** · 06-27-2007, 07:49 AM

My first response is the cosleeping one, that'll solve the sleeping problem for everybody in the house and time with them as babies is so short. He's at that insecure age where he's not sure where you are when he cannot see you.

But if that's not something you're willing to do, I second the patting his back every few minutes--you've got to let him know you're nearby and he's okay.

~~

**MarshHen** · 06-27-2007, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by frugalfriend

I know it may be really hard to do, but it takes three nights to break the habit. And a habit is what he has. Those three nights will be hard, but they will pay off and everyone, especially your son, will be happier and well rested. Do not put him down sound asleep, but let him develop this normal, healthy habit of falling back asleep on his own. He will do it with a little prodding and patience. Do not pick him up, this will make things worse. Pat his back the first time and leave the room. After that, when you know he's just waking out of habit, don't go in. Maybe have your older son sleep in another room for these three nights. You are checking on your son (without him seeing you!), he is fine, ie: his foot/leg is not caught in the crib, he is not sick, he doesn't have a dirty diaper, etc., so don't worry that you are ignoring him! He will not remember these nights, or be scarred for life like some people will try to tell you. You are teaching him a good habit that will benefit him and the entire family.

When the first night comes and the whole family peacefully sleeps through the night and wakes up rested and happy you will realize your hard work has paid off! Your son will be getting the much needed, uninterrupted sleep he needs and will thrive.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, I only want to help. I have seen this situation work again and again with several friends and family. My two boys slept through the night at 8 weeks, my daughter at 9 weeks.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

This is what I had to do with my now 23 yr. old DD. My dad was staying with us and he suggested it. Man was it hard to go through with, and yes, it took 3 nights of it, ( DH and I would have gave in if dad wasn't there to stop us from rushing in to pick her up) but on the fourth night, she slept all through the night, without waking up once, till 7 am the next morning. I never had a problem with her sleeping through the night again, unless she was not feeling well, and even then once well, she would go right back to sleeping all night again. I will never forget that first full night of sleep, LOL.

Try it, it certainly won't hurt him in any way, even if it takes your son a little longer to adjust, the end result is worth it.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

**lukesmama** · 06-29-2007, 10:10 PM

Well, I thought I'd give an update....

I AM RUNNING ON TWO FULL NIGHTS' SLEEP!

Three nights ago, my son got up at midnight, and just couldn't NOT go in (even though I'd talked to DH about it and he agreed that was fine to give it a try). So I went in and changed his diaper, hugged him, and put him down immediately...no snuggling up to mama. Well, it worked, because he fussed for less than a minute before falling back asleep.

Then the last two nights, he didn't wake up AT ALL until 5:30-6 am (which I guess counts as morning, although personally, I think anything before 7am is the dead of night).

So, for now at least, it appears the problem is solved. If he starts again with the waking, I'll just do like I did three nights ago with the diaper change and the kiss nite-nite and then put him back down.

Thanks to everyone who posted!