I wish my dh was

**Dancing Lotus** · 07-23-2007, 05:10 PM

the man his is today on the day that I married him. Did that make any seanse?

I know someone who is very unhappy with their dh. He hasnt said I love you outloud to her in years. He is lazy and grumpy. I cant remember the last time he had a solid job. She is very depressed about her life and doesnt knwo how to fix it. She said she wishes she had made a better choice when she picked him. This got to me thinking about my dh.

My dh has always been a wonderful partner. When we were first married he thought he knew what he wanted in life and we were set. Well now that we have two kids a morgage and a mountain of dept, he has figured out that he wants a new career and has been going to school for about a year now. My dh works 50 or more hours a week and goes to school at night. I do nothing but care for the family and wait for him to come home. I wish he had been this dedicated to bettering himself 10 yrs ago! I love him even more for wanting to do better for his family but why did he have to wait untill it was going to be so hard.

How many of you think that your dh is an even better man now then he was when you married him?

**i.m.cheap** · 07-23-2007, 05:33 PM

I think I can relate somewhat. My DH started college when he was almost 33, after we had been married for nine years. He still has a long ways to go to obtain his Bachelor's degree. He will receive his AA in May 2008, and has completed a Certificate program in Digital Media. He works two jobs, and takes at least 12 credit hours a semester.

I also wish he had decided on this path earlier in our marriage, but I say "Better late than never!" I am hoping that he will soon have a career that will lift us out of poverty. I have also enrolled full-time at the community college this fall. I can see what going to school has done for my DH in terms of raising his self-esteem. He is still employed as a cook, but hopes to enter the field of web design when he completes his degree.

We only have one car, so I spend a lot of time at home waiting for him, too. It is lonely, but I know it won't be forever.

**santoria** · 07-23-2007, 06:12 PM

I can totally relate!

we have both done a ton of growing up in the 11 years we've been together (9married)

its just getting better and better too!

**Darlene** · 07-23-2007, 07:53 PM

Some ways better, some not. He's mellowed out in some ways but has gotten even more set in his ways in others. He's learned how to compromise and that it's ok to change your mind and that his way isn't the only way.

He's a good guy and I picked well.

**Mom23boys** · 07-23-2007, 08:49 PM

My DH has always been a hardworker and has worked very hard to get where he is at work (management), sometimes so much that we never had much time together. As our children begin to leave the house (well one and the others are independent), it seems as though we have become closer than when we first married. We tend to have more alone time and it is so nice. I am so glad of the choice I made.

**babymakes5** · 07-23-2007, 09:26 PM

My dh is a wonderful man. We had a somewhat rocky start, but we have always loved each other. Six years in we hit some very hard times when dh started suffering from PTSD and later battling alcoholism. Thank God we got through all of that and came out on the other side together and stronger then ever. He is a better father then he has been in a long time, and husband too. He works 11:00P -7:30A and goes to school until 1:30P. Somehow he still manages to find some time for all of us. It's been hard, but we will get through this too, even stronger then ever.

**profnot** · 07-23-2007, 10:34 PM

I wish my dh was a woman.

My body is wired for men. But I don't understand men. I understand women. We agree on a healthy union as a family priority.

Sigh.......

**jamie79** · 07-23-2007, 10:40 PM

Dh and I have been together since 1985 a long time and he just got his B.A in Business Administration a couple of months ago at the age of 44. Not bad for a guy who didnt graduate h.s. He is a good man, a hard worker who loves his wife and kids. We have had our problems and I wish he was better about money ( he is better then he was) but you cant have everything

**DJ1972** · 07-23-2007, 11:57 PM

I think he's still the same man......we have both just grown up alot and learned to live with each others flaws, lol. He has always been a wonderfull provider, addicted to overtime, very appreciative of what I do in and outside the house, and a great dad. We have our spats on occasion, but when we said "till death do us part" we meant it........if he chooses for that to be his death, well...j/k lol. When women at work gripe about their hubbies, I like to talk about how great mine is, he is by no means perfect, but I get some sick thrill out of knowing they wonder how I picked such a great guy and they didn't. I like to quote my granny alot, she was such a wise country woman, anyway, her philosophy was, don't run your husband down in public because people will pretend to give you sympathy when the whole time they are really thinking..."you're the idiot that married him."

**Dixie** · 07-24-2007, 12:05 AM

I love my dh and he has matured a lot in the last few years. He has received several promaotions and raises, just in the past few months. If he had been this career oriented (sp) to begin with, he would be in the 'corner office' by now. Oh well, like someone said, you can't have everything.
We've been married 30 years (this month) and we're happier than we ever have been.

**McD** · 07-24-2007, 12:19 AM

DH is still the man I married. Sometimes I have to dig a little deeper to find the man I married, but he's there. Sometimes he has to dig deeper to find the woman he married. Part of the beauty of marriage is the growing old together part---but we can't expect each other to grow older without growing up and changing a bit. Doesn't make it any easier though.

**TheRootedNomad** · 07-24-2007, 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by MrsMcDowell

DH is still the man I married. Sometimes I have to dig a little deeper to find the man I married, but he's there. Sometimes he has to dig deeper to find the woman he married. Part of the beauty of marriage is the growing old together part---but we can't expect each other to grow older without growing up and changing a bit. Doesn't make it any easier though.

Hear!!!!Here!!! Couldn't have said it better myself. Some of the changes on both our parts are good ones but sometimes I gotta wonder "Who is this person???? and can I have my DH back please???" I'm sure he wonders too. It's kinda like being homesick. But I agree, if I'm willing to take out the shovel I can usually dig out where he's hidden.

**frugalfarmwife** · 07-24-2007, 07:55 AM

I'm INCREDIBLY fortunate in that hubby and I both learned a LOT of hard lessons in life before we met each other. When we said "til death" we also meant it, we've seen so many marriages go wrong and seen so many people hurt, and been hurt ourselves.

I've often joked that I wish I could clone him for some of my friends, yes he's quirky (and so am I) but he's loyal to the end, USUALLY thinks before he does things, and most important he puts up with me, and just ask my mom, that is NOT easy to do!

He's mellowed a bit with time (any mellower and I'd have to check for a pulse!) And his goals have become more realistic as he nears 40, and he has the most dry wit, his sense of humor and timing are unbelievable.

Yep, still the man I married but also oh so much more.

kj

**Dancing Lotus** · 07-24-2007, 08:04 AM

oh, he is the man I married and then some. If anything I sometimes worry that he is the one getting short changed so to speak. I am not the woman he married. Haveing kids has changed me totaly. But he swears I'm still the best thing since sliced bread! The other day at bedtime he just started rambeling about how wonderful I am and how much he needed me. I think he was just trying to get into my nightgown.

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