Reaching out to bil

**Dancing Lotus** · 07-25-2007, 05:37 PM

OKay my bil is big fat loser... without telling my life story I will just tell you that I have known this person for 12 yrs and I havent said more then ten words to him at a time. HE gives me the creeps and he thinks Im a snobby *itch. Well he has just got out of prison ( I told you he was a loser ) but this time he really wants to make a change. He has been clean and sober for 2 yrs and wants to stay that way. I told my dh that maybe he coudl try to be nice to his brother so that he could see that if he stayed clean he can have a family again. MY DH said NO WAY! I was shocked he was so cold about it and he seamed shocked that I would suggest it.

His brother has never done anything to us, he only hurts himself. All of dh's family has moved away so he is the only family my dh has closer then 3,000 miles. They are very different , my dh is more like Ward Cleaver and his brother is Ozzy Ozborne .Do you think Im right to incourage dh to talk to his brother or should I let it be?

**bumplett** · 07-25-2007, 05:42 PM

I think you did your part by letting your hubby know that you were willing to try -

if hubby doesn't want to - you can't force him

he has his reasons - and I'd stay out of it, it's between hubby and his brother ....

**itsahumanzoo** · 07-25-2007, 05:46 PM

I think family is very important, but if your DH isn't ready to let his brother back into his life, you shouldn't force him. Hopefully he will come around on his own.

**Dancing Lotus** · 07-25-2007, 05:53 PM

I didnt push it all and droped the topic the minute he looked at me like I had two heads. And I certainly dont think they will be best buds. I just thought that maybe he could ask himto help work on the mustange that hasnt run in two yrs. MY husbands very handy but his brother is a mechanic.

**bumplett** · 07-25-2007, 05:55 PM

he may need time to adjust to the idea of his brother being clean - he may not truly believe it yet - and in a way, he has to keep his distance to avoid getting hurt

just a thought....

**brainyblonde** · 07-25-2007, 06:55 PM

If it were me, I'd leave it alone. In fact, I'd be reluctant to let BIL in my house. Only time will tell if he is sincere in getting his life together.