Just plain sad...

**lwlynch** · 07-26-2007, 06:16 PM

Well here I am again. First I will tell you that my nephew passed away a week ago from a freak accident. I live in a totally other state from my family. When I was notified, I was so sadden, I called home to see what I could do. I was told that I could do nothing, by all of my siblings and my mother. I was told that it was going to be over before I could even come and that there was nothing that I could do. I should just stay where I was and try to understand that they need time to heal. And that now or even in the near future would not be an appropriate time to come and visit. Like I even considered taking the husband kids, I thought maybe I could go and just be supportive. Well anyway, long story short, I am sitting here, feeling like I am on the outside looking in and very alone. I guess I am just a big baby. I guess maybe I missed something in the family manual. Well I just wanted to vent and be a baby for a few minutes.. Thanks for listening

**nuisance26** · 07-26-2007, 06:52 PM

~I'm so sorry Louise. Try to remember that people often say things they don't mean when they're grieving. You have a right to grieve too. Did they actually ask you not to come to a funeral? Or just not to come and comfort them? Big (((HUGS))) to you during this difficult time.~

**Its_Donna** · 07-26-2007, 07:14 PM

Maybe they just meant that it would be a long trip for you to make since they needed to have their closure quickly. They were probably thinking of how the trip would affect you in the long run. I'm so sorry for your loss.

**itsahumanzoo** · 07-26-2007, 07:19 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure they didn't mean to make you feel left out. Sometimes during these sad times people say things they don't exactly mean.

**Odilia** · 07-26-2007, 07:22 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

**nodmicks** · 07-26-2007, 07:44 PM

I'm so sorry. Maqybe they don't know what they are saying due to stress. We had a friend pass in an accident this week. Losing our friends and loved ones is so hard. Hugs!

**Jskell911** · 07-26-2007, 07:44 PM

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Unfortunately, as you may have seen with your children, in emotional times people lash out on their safety nets. Please stay strong and realise that if you have always shared a close relationship then this will pass as the grief works it's stages. Wishing the best for you

**lullaby80** · 07-26-2007, 08:11 PM

So sorry for your loss.

**jamie79** · 07-26-2007, 08:16 PM

I am so sorry

**Edna_E** · 07-26-2007, 08:17 PM

I'm sorry, both about your nephew and about your feelings of isolation from your family. My siblings and I are all scattered, and my parents even moved after we were all grown, so there is no "home" anymore, and I often am either sad or frustrated by the lack of connection. Actually, right now my Mom being hurt seems to be bridging the distance between us sisters. Maybe when things are less raw, your family can rebuild a bridge to you - try to keep yourself open for such a possibility, and I would at least send something caring to show that you feel for them - like maybe a box of homemade cookies?

**leezza** · 07-26-2007, 08:29 PM

Louise,

My thoughts are with you, I am very sorry for your loss.

Families are a funny business sometimes......I hope that all is worked out soon and you feel like part of the clan once again.

Warm Regards,
leezza

**claimsgirl66** · 07-26-2007, 08:36 PM

I agree with some of the other replies: maybe they thought they were being considerate in not asking you to travel. There really is no manual on how to act during a difficult time like this, so do not read too much into it. I am sorry for your loss and thinking good thoughts for you and your family.

**staceyy** · 07-26-2007, 09:44 PM

I'm sorry.

**bumplett** · 07-26-2007, 09:48 PM

I agree with Edna ~ send a box of cookies or some flowers, and let them know that you are thinking of them and that you love them.....

I'm sorry for your family's loss