Have you ever felt like...

[pip]

I look for your posts everyday, I love your perspective on things. I can tell that you have been struggling for awhile, and I'm sorry for what you've had to deal with. And, I'd give you a hug right now if I could. I hope that you can feel better about things soon.

[mikibracken]

Sorry to read about your troubles, I hope you feel better soon. I to enjoy your perspective on things.
Just a thought, I think I'm quoting Dr. Phil when I say "You teach people how to treat you" My take on this is that people will do or say things to you as long as you allow them to. I'm guessing that you have taken a lot in the spirit of keeping the peace. This is a nice quality except everyone else gets what they want and you you are left with all of the hurt feelings. I'm not sure that going to war with everyone is the answer either. See if your library has Dr. phil's book Self Matters, because you do matter you just need to believe it!!

[Jskell911]

Tracy, I know exactly what you are saying! Went through that and back again a few years ago. I still battle all the time with it.

Here's a big

[perSue]

FrugalMom...
I sympathize.
I feel sad that your family can't appreciate you the way you should be.

I'm in the middle of the same type of thing.
I, the youngest of 3, and the only female, am trying to do something special for a VERY special bday coming up. The mother of the 3 of us is having an epic bday - and I thought it would be nice to have a gift from all three of us.
Right?
Wrong. Bday is in Jan - I passed ideas, websites, ideas around back in the summer. I finally decided on a "collage" of photos of us growing up to being grown and our families (children, spouses & all!). "Great idea!" I got.
Back 4 months ago I said this.
Have I received ANYthing? No.
All I get is complaining that I send too many harrassing emails (reminders to send photos).

Know what I'm doing now? I'm returning the item (which I was going to have engraved)... but I'm running out of time to get it engraved & receive photos & such.
I'm sending them an email saying "I've returned it, sorry for the inconvenience, yer on yer own. I'm done."

Because I AM done!
No more am I going to plan special things for my siblings/parent.
I was always treated like the "black sheep" and still am.
I don't need to be treated like this by these people.

And neither do you!

I syw we choose who we want in our lives and we tell these ppl (subtely of course) how we want to be treated.

Have you thought about talking to your mother about this?
Asking her outright "why" you can't go?

I feel for you... I do.
I hope something positive comes from your situation... I know from mine, nothing will.

[miss_thrifty]

great big huuggssss dear.

[Luv2BeFrugal]

I guess that's why I love FV so much and when I cant login for a day or 2 I get so upset. This is my family.

This is how I feel a lot of the time...I would cry without my Frugal Family!

Sometimes people are just so lost in their own little worlds they forget to take the time to care for their family... I'm so sorry you're going through this... I hope your mom snaps out of it and learns what a fantastic daughter she has!!

Besides...you can't go on that trip...we'd miss you here!!!

[FarmerSue]

Hugs honey. I get that way too. I live so far away from everyone else, I think it's only natural. I've decided over the years to just not stick my neck out.....that way my head won't get chopped off. The times I've been really hurt or felt abandoned are the times I asked for someones help or time or effort and been denied. Now I never ask and can't get my feelings hurt. Of course it wells up sometimes but on the whole it is a way less emotional ride. My goal is to never let my own kids feel that way. I can't do much about what others want to do or say but I sure as heck can try and make sure my own kids don't have those feelings.
Take care hun

[Jayne]

Tracy, I am so sorry that they treated you so horribly...I have felt like I don't matter most of my life, so I can relate.....But the truth is YOU DO MATTER!!..You are the only you that will ever be, you are unique and have so much to offer this world, starting with this small corner here at FV!!...I care about you and love you, as do the other people here..We would definately notice if you were missing !!!...Lots of to you...

[mommy4ever]

I understand completely. But that doesn't make any easier, does it?

I am the youngest of 3, the only girl. I"m the furthest thing from their minds. Most of my life their attention has been focussed on my brother, and I can understand, he wasn't well. But that doesn't make it any easier. He's been gone 7 years now.... the focus is still no him. My Christmas gift was a sketch of him. Personally, I find it creepy. But what ever.

Then my SIL and BIL... OH man, I've been a member of this family for a longtime. But when ever there's a gathering, the conversation is always about people I don't know, peple from prior to me meeting dh. There have been gifts, or plans, that purposely done, knowing I wouldn't attend. Mothers Day golf, I had a 4 week old. This was done every year I had a baby, not to mention I don't golf. Or concert tickets purchased to go as a group, but I"m not included in that group.

I just stopped caring. It's easier.

[missyali]

I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. I agree with everyone else here when they say you are invaluable and are so needed. Unfortunately, we tend to take for granted those who so very important to us. I hope things start looking up soon.