Why do people give me their phone number if they're not going to answer the phone?

**frugalandsimple** · 03-11-2008, 05:12 AM

It seems like 90% of the time I call someone, nobody answers the phone. I'm well aware that people have their own lives and even asked them when it was the best time to call them. I don't like leaving messages if I was planning on just having a general conversation. I have left messages before and they still don't call back. I feel rejected and maybe, they don't want to talk to me for whatever reason. I feel guilty when I keep calling someone and that person doesn't pick up their phone. Most of the people that I call have cellphones. I wished certain people didn't give me their phone number if they really didn't want to talk to me. When I'm around them in person which isn't very often, most of them, I think are just being "nice" to me to avoid hurting my feelings since they know I'm a very sensitive person.

I'm working on making friends but it seems that I'm just ending up feeling stressed, worried that something may of happened, anxiety and rejected when I keep calling someone that that person doesn't pick up the phone.

**AmyMCGS** · 03-11-2008, 08:57 AM

I don't answer my cell for a variety of reasons-- I'm busy with the kids, I'm in line somewhere, I'm in traffic, whatever.

If someone leaves a message saying "hi, just called to chat" I don't always return that call, either, simply because I forget. If they leave a specific message about something they wanted to ask or talk about, I'm more likely to remember and call them back.

Hopefully this is what's happening to you- I can't imagine why anyone would give out their number if they had no intention of talking to you.

**M55FF** · 03-11-2008, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by frugalandsimple

It seems like 90% of the time I call someone, nobody answers the phone. I'm well aware that people have their own lives and even asked them when it was the best time to call them. I don't like leaving messages if I was planning on just having a general conversation. I have left messages before and they still don't call back. I feel rejected and maybe, they don't want to talk to me for whatever reason. I feel guilty when I keep calling someone and that person doesn't pick up their phone. Most of the people that I call have cellphones. I wished certain people didn't give me their phone number if they really didn't want to talk to me. When I'm around them in person which isn't very often, most of them, I think are just being "nice" to me to avoid hurting my feelings since they know I'm a very sensitive person.

I'm working on making friends but it seems that I'm just ending up feeling stressed, worried that something may of happened, anxiety and rejected when I keep calling someone that that person doesn't pick up the phone.

Heres my suggestion....
in this world we now live in people are busy, rushed, stressed... so when you call, leave a message letting them know you called and would like them to call you back to chat, so when they do call back they have allowed a time block open for you.
and.......
stop taking it personal !!! ............you must not take things like a personal attack on you as most people really are busy, stressed and have little free time to chat.. it has nothing to do with you !!!

I never answer my phone, the machine does and I return calls back a certain time and certain days of the week. Has nothing to do with who called and everything to do with my schedule

**Rosebush3** · 03-11-2008, 10:00 AM

Sadly, it is true that most people are too wrapped up in themselves and their lives to even so much as share a few precious moments with a friend. It takes maybe five good minutes out of a day and most self-important people can't be bothered to spare that. With all of our time-saving technologies one would assume, apparently wrongly, that we should have some free time during the day to reach out to another living, breathing human being and share our lives or just lend an ear. Who can take the time to hear a funny story or heaven forbid - have to take the time to console a soul in need.
One of these days you will find that special friend who will answer the phone and value you enough to take that few minutes and connect. Many people I know are too busy racing through life to see who can have the most toys in the end, because the one with the most toys wins, right? lol.

**mombottoo** · 03-11-2008, 11:50 AM

In this day and age when a lot of people have their phones attached at the hip it is really hard to know when to call them. In the day of only landlines you knew they were home.

I have a general rule I use...I call a couple of times & leave messages. If I don't hear back, I don't call again. If I hear from them, well then they are worth talking to...if I don't oh well.

I generally do not call peoples cell phones (other than my dad, kids or sisters), and people who know me know this...so if they want to talk they have to call me. There is nothing more irritating than having to listen to someone talking to another party via cell phone out in public...drives me nuts!

**cutetexancowgirl2002** · 03-11-2008, 03:51 PM

I'm sure they're just busy or in a spot where they are unable to answer the phone. I must admit I have been guilty of seeing someone call and not picking up because I was extremely busy and then forgetting to call. To me email is the best way to reach someone. Sometimes I don't remember to return a call until 11 pm then I'm afraid the person is in bed. If a friend sends me an email I can respond when I get a moment and not have to worry about playing phone tag.

I wouldn't stress too much. Like others said, I'm sure if they gave you their number they would like to talk to you; they just may be unable to answer the phone.