There were about 10-25 people there, including children. There was alcohol involved since most people there are social/party drinkers. I tried to have fun but at the end of the party, I felt left out. I knew most of the people at the party, few of the friends and sister I have known for over 20yrs. even though we have drifted apart for a long period of time and recently started hanging out with them again.
I've tried talking to people at the party but a lot of the time I felt like a wallflower since I didn't want to annoy people by asking too many questions. I try to get to know others and not ask questions that may be too personal but rarely, others don't initate conversation with me and get to know me better. I don't know what it is but it's like they won't hardly talk to me unless I start a conversation even if it's short.
I stink at conversations or throwing my opinion in a conversation that is already going in a group of people. It doesn't help that I can't hear well unless the person is talking directly at me especially in noisy surroundings like at a party. It just stresses me out and makes me anxious when I feel left out because others don't ask me anything or include me in a conversation when I'm around a group of people.
I consider myself a simple person and don't do much that involves money since I'm being frugal because I hate having debt. I also try not to gossip or complain/vent about anything. I'm not one of those people who like to talk about problems/issues that are going on in my life to people I know since I don't want to be one of those friends that is emotionally draining to others.
Frugalandsimple I am so sorry you did not have a good time at your party
If I was having a party I'm sure you and I would have tons to talk about since we both like to save money ::HUGS::
Frugalandsimple I am so sorry you did not have a good time at your party
If I was having a party I'm sure you and I would have tons to talk about since we both like to save money ::HUGS::
Andrea
It wasn't my party. I was at someone else's house who was having a party.
Whenever I go to a party where I don't know many people, I find someone and do small talk and then start asking them questions about themselves--how do they know the host, if they have kids, if they live in the area. PEOPLE LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES! So this is usually an area that can get the ball rolling. When they talk back to you, if you can't hear, I would just tell them that I'm hearing impaired and let them know to speak louder. As long as you don't ask super personal questions, people usually open right up. I always go in with the mind frame that people love to talk to me. I never think, "Oh they're aren't going to want to listen to me or get to know me."
HTH
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Mom to two crazy boys
and wife to Mr. Wonderful
"A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around." --Carolyn Birmingham
Another tip: watch your body language. If your arms are crossed infront of you, you may appear stand-offish and unapproachable.
Are you able to volunteer at an animal shelter or something that is interesting to you? That's a great way to meet people and practice conversation skills because you would be meeting people you have stuff in common with and/or similar interests.
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Mom to two crazy boys
and wife to Mr. Wonderful
"A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around." --Carolyn Birmingham
Another tip: watch your body language. If your arms are crossed infront of you, you may appear stand-offish and unapproachable.
Are you able to volunteer at an animal shelter or something that is interesting to you? That's a great way to meet people and practice conversation skills because you would be meeting people you have stuff in common with and/or similar interests.
That's 1 thing I watch when I talk to people since I do know that body language is important. I also try to keep a smiling face. I do volunteer for an organzation but it's only 2x a month and only last from Sept. until the end of April. I don't like to volunteer that much because to me it's work which I do enough of at my FT job.
I used to like going to parties when I was younger but I had a lot of energy and always had fun. Now I don't do that much because its too frightening to get busted drinking and driving. I would also feel bad to have a party at my place and someone drinks too much, leaves and gets in a bad accident.
For one thing, 8 hours is too long to stay at a party if your not having fun.
You need to smile, say hello and mingle around some if your going to have any fun. This doesnt mean go crazy or anything, just walk around and greet people and chit chat...
if you dont have fun after an hour of that... go home
the party is not going to get better.
sorry you had such a bad time and stayed so long, next time leave a bad time sooner.
I am not great in those kind of situations. I just try and relax and speak with whoever I can. But I do agree 8 hours is a long time to stay if you are really not enjoying yourself completely. There is nothing wrong with thanking the host and leaving early.
Dont be afraid to let people know they need to speak up when speaking with you. This also lets them know you are interested in what they are saying.
I agree with Cricket1, people love to talk about themselves. I married into a family that was much higher educated than mine and felt awkward...once I learned to ask them questions and listen I could ask more. I finally realized they aren't really much different than I am except maybe they were a little more "formal". They really aren't any "better" than I am and often times I think some of them wished they were more like me with my relaxed, enjoy life attitude. Maybe I'm wrong but it's my bubble & I'm sticking to it. We really do have alot of things in common, no matter who you are. Weather, sports, current events...how do you know so & so...all kinds of things can lead to more conversation. My biggest advice is just be yourself and know, really know that we all pretty much worry, think & talk about the same things. Don't think about how nervous you are just think that someone else feels like you do and seek them out. They are there (and may be the people you think are so calm cool & collected. They could be feeling awkward too but not showing it)& if you don't click just people watch. Alot of fun is to be had with that.
__________________ ~*Darlene*~
Live Well~Laugh Often~Love Much
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~Leo Buscaglia
I have to say that there's nothing more miserable than being 'stuck' at a party or gathering for a loooooonnnggg time and being miserable. B.T.D.T.
Most of the time when we're feeling left out for whatever reason I don't think that people are purposefully (sp?) leaving us out. I think most of time they are just caught up and wrapped up in themselves and not seeing that others around them are uncomfortable. I can empathize with the hearing situation too b/c Gripey has a degree of that as well and it really does affect the way you react in a group setting. Maybe you should have it seen about....??? At any rate, you're so not alone in this. I think I would have poked my own eyes out after about 3-4 hours at any party.......
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~48 yr. old sahw, livin' it up in our empty nest, smack dab in the middle of everywhere.~
*We're debt freeeeeeeee! (including the house)*
That is a LONG time to stay at a party where you aren't having fun. I think I would have faked a "headache", thanked the host for having me over, and went home after a couple of hours.
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Deb
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Mahatma Gandhi
I don't think I could stand 8 hours at a party - and I'm VERY social. I'd have disappeared off into a corner with a good book for a while. I do sympathize with your feelings, regardless of the duration, because there is a family event that I have gone to for years (decades) that I always seem to be on the fringes. I've finally just started working at things like bringing the older generation drinks, helping clear the table, etc. Most of these people have known me since I was young, and they quite possible care about me, but they really don't know who I am. I think part of it is that I moved away and into a profession that they have no knowledge of. The best convesation I've had there was recently and was about baking - something I've done professionally, but which had been forgotten. Anyway, it often feels pretty wierd (and having one relative who is a senior female of at least 70 who when she has too much to drink wants to tell me how sexy she finds my son does NOT make me more comfortable!)
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ok, these are just my favorites!
mother of Sean (21) and Scamper (black cat - 5) and now LuLu (gray kitten - 1)
procrastinator extraordinaire
goals: get lipids under control - done
get rid of 12 large garbage bags of "stuff" - keep repeating
pay one cc off entirely - getting there
lose 48 pounds in 2007 - Hahahahaha! Let's try for 25 in 2008
find a new hobby - hmmm, this doesn't count does it?
Connect with Facebook
I was at a party for 8hrs.
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