Funerals are expensive!

**Mom23boys** · 05-15-2008, 09:09 PM

We are learning so many things that we did not know before. FIL and MIL both have prepaid funerals, but they do not tell you that to dig the hole at the cemetery is contracted out and not included in the prepaid funeral. It cost almost $1000 for the 'extra' expenses which had to be paid before the funeral. Now, MIL is having the will probated. When she came over to tell me how much is cost today, I almost fell over. It is $1500 to probate the will! DH will be stopping at the bank on his way home tomorrow to get his mom some money to help pay for it.

So, if you think everything is covered by your insurance policy, beware!! DH and I are already thinking of getting extra life insurance because I don't want our children having to worry about this. It has been stressful to say the least because none of us are rolling in dough!!

**heartofmine** · 05-15-2008, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by Mom23boys

We are learning so many things that we did not know before. FIL and MIL both have prepaid funerals, but they do not tell you that to dig the hole at the cemetery is contracted out and not included in the prepaid funeral. It cost almost $1000 for the 'extra' expenses which had to be paid before the funeral. Now, MIL is having the will probated. When she came over to tell me how much is cost today, I almost fell over. It is $1500 to probate the will! DH will be stopping at the bank on his way home tomorrow to get his mom some money to help pay for it.

So, if you think everything is covered by your insurance policy, beware!! DH and I are already thinking of getting extra life insurance because I don't want our children having to worry about this. It has been stressful to say the least because none of us are rolling in dough!!

My family has gone through this twice in the last year. My mil passed away and then just 6 weeks ago my sil committed suicide. We are in probate right now. Whoever is the Executer of the will can have the money moved into a new account in their name as executer and then the bank can print up some checks for you to pay the bills with. Talk to the bank about this and make sure you have the will with you. Thats all they need to see to be able to do this.

**heartofmine** · 05-15-2008, 09:36 PM

Oh and forgot to add my sympathies for your loss. Funerals are very expensive. My mil's and sil's were both about $8,000.00 each. Thank the good Lord they had the money to pay them because we sure didn't.

**mombottoo** · 05-15-2008, 09:47 PM

Please accept my condolences for your family's loss. Funerals are very expensive and there are a lot of additional expenses even when you have prepaid.

I am executor for my dad & I was for my mom. When mom passed the only thing I had to do was file a copy of her will with Probate Court...since everything went to my dad...it didn't cost me anything.

**Michelle68** · 05-15-2008, 10:04 PM

I'm sorry for your loss, Michelle. When my father passed away last month, he had $629 in the bank, no will, no insurance and no beneficiary. That money remains in the bank because my brother and I can't see paying $1500 to get $629. I hope y'all don't have any other financial surprises and tht you're able to get everything worked out without any difficulty.

--Michelle

**fernykins** · 05-16-2008, 01:43 AM

My brother took on our parents funeral bills..... My mother was creamated and my father was buried. My grandmother helped with my dad's. He was her only child. When my grandmother passed we all helped pay for hers. The one thing she did about a year before she died she put her house in all 7 of her grandchildrens names and took her name off of it. She had nothing else......... I am sorry you lost your father........
Fern

**Missy** · 05-16-2008, 11:19 AM

It is expensive! Yikes! This last year we had four funerals to pay for, and one the year before!! EEps. No wonder were all broke.

I am sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you

**napswithkats** · 05-16-2008, 11:32 AM

Cremation is fairly inexpensive.

Some info here:

http://www.cremation.org

When my father passed we did cremate him and had a short graveside service and then a lunch after. Very inexpensive.

I plan on being cremated and having my ashes scattered in my favorite places :-)

**itlw8** · 05-16-2008, 03:41 PM

so sorry for your loss.

We were lucky When we went to arrange for MIL prepaid they walked us through everything They had us send the opening fee then but we got it back in the mail seems FIl paid it on both graves when he bought the site....

We also added the extra for the engraving the headstone on the prepaid.

The other thing that was lucky was everything was in trusts so we had not need to probate the will

The property passed directly to the surviving children.

**macemesmum** · 05-16-2008, 08:48 PM

My fathers funeral cost around $9,000 and the headstone cost around $8,000 but i wanted that headstone as i missed him so much and i got some money from him in the will so i didnt mind paying my share of it condolences on your loss

**PrairieRose** · 05-17-2008, 08:55 AM

We found out just how expensive when my dmom died over a year ago. It seems that the prices in our area are more reasonable than in other areas of the country (reading these posts here esp.) but still....so costly. We just ordered the headstone the other day. It's all so emotionally draining as well. I'm sorry it's been so hard on you in all areas Michelle

**Mom23boys** · 05-17-2008, 10:50 AM

I think it would be much easier on us and MIL if DH's siblings would help too. It seems like the financial burdens are placed on MIL and DH. Maybe it is because he is the oldest and the other 2 just assume it will be taken care of. The other two siblings, 40 and 38, both live at home with MIL STILL and MIL has informed them that they need to start helping financially. FIL was soft-hearted and let DH's brother and sister move back in every time they had financially difficutly because they both have custody of 2 children each. Now that FIL has passed, my MIL is trying to get them to start helping or move out. I am sure she will never make them move and I am pretty positive that the sister will NEVER help! She is pathetic to say the least. When FIL died, she was in jail and missed the funeral because she couldn't bond out!! It was a felony charge, so no telling what will happen when she goes to court. Anyway, I am sorry to keep ranting. I am just frustrated with the DH's brother and sister. I have only been in the family 22 years, but have offered more help to DH's mother than her own daughter and other son. When she needs something, I offer to help because I know noone else will or can. She has always been nothing but nice to me. I do what I can to repay her. I guess I wish other people felt the same way. UGH!!

**C@rol** · 05-17-2008, 12:02 PM

So very sorry for your loss.

**dolphin** · 05-19-2008, 03:26 PM

I'm so sorry and send my condolances to all who have lost loved ones.

My dad's funeral last December was well over $10,000.00. My brother and 4 of my sisters paid for it and the headstone and the family flowers.

My son died 10 years ago and his funeral was over $6,000.00 and all we had was family night, a few flowers, and a graveside service. The funeral home gave us 30 days to pay it off.

Our family doesn't believe in cremation. I have one Uncle who was cremated, ever, and it still bothers my Mom. Dh and I had both decided that cremation was our only alternative because we live so far from our families and we don't have life insurance but my sisters have already told me that there is no way I will be cremated and they would see to it that I got back 'home'. God bless them.