Backed against the wall here

**dhmunoz** · 06-08-2008, 12:04 PM

Long story in a nutshell--we are originally from Northern California, but spent the last 7 years in Nebraska. We came back to CA in December 2007 because my MIL needed help with her rental properties and since we were working as property managers in Nebraska, dh and I decided that we would come out here and help her out. He transferred to a different location (same employer) but had to take a pay cut. We talked it over before even deciding to come here, and figured we would be able to make it work.

Well, it's not working. Our BASIC bills--with absolutely NO extras whatsoever--are outweighing our income by over $300/month. We are very quickly blowing through our savings. I have sent out probably 40+ resumes and gone to countless interviews but still no job for me. DH trudges along through his job...at a full $6 LESS per hour than he made in Nebraska. I want to cut our losses and move back. Everything is way too expensive here and if that's not bad enough, the environment here is not where I want my kids. This area has a very bad gang problem. LOTS of shootings....daily. There was a shooting 2 blocks away the other day, and this is a good neighborhood. I'm shocked by the things my kids have learned at school.

I guess what I really need is prayers and/or good thoughts. The longer we stay here the less savings we have and it is already dangerously depleted as it is. It is already to the point that if we do decide to go back, we will have to pretty much sell everything and leave with nothing because we won't have money for a moving truck. I have put ads out for babysitting and petsitting and I still apply for jobs because we NEED money bad. I feel really discouraged because I know that if we run out of money, we have to stay here, and if we stay here, it will go from bad to worse. When school starts I will not be able to afford school uniforms and 2 of my kids have outgrown theirs. (They go to a public charter school). We can forget Halloween and Christmas completely

If we can make it back to Nebraska my husband does have the ability to transfer back. I talked to my ex-boss the other day and he is willing to reserve one of his rentals for us and work with us on the move-in costs. We would be flat broke with no furniture and very little else until we could get back on our feet. Thoughts??

Oh....and I forgot to mention...helping MIL with her rentals didnt pan out. She is in her late 60s and is pretty set in her ways. Everything we tried to do to help and to get her good tenants was met with resistance so we told her that we just wouldnt be able to do it anymore. It was NOT worth the frustration. We werent getting paid anyway so that has not been an economic factor.

**sdrjeolsen** · 06-08-2008, 12:10 PM

I'd say cut your losses and move back...but then again, as a born & raised Cornhusker, I'm a bit biased. Seriously though, sounds like the longer you stay the worse off you'll be. And especially when you consider the kids, they need to be in a secure environment. Sounds like you have a lot going for you back in NE and help to get you there. You gave it a shot in CA and things just didn't pan out, so if it was me, I'd be packing. Good luck whatever you decide!

**Suzi T.** · 06-08-2008, 12:25 PM

Cut your loses and move back! Mil owes you the move back! She should pay for your move and you did your best to help.

**Frugal Nurse** · 06-08-2008, 12:26 PM

TIME TO MOVE BACK!

Don't hesitate a moment more.
Nothing is working there.

That is a sure sign if there ever was one so blatant.

**yankeegal** · 06-08-2008, 12:34 PM

You need to do what you think is best for you and your family. I would move back.

**dianne9106** · 06-08-2008, 12:41 PM

Working and helping family with a business venture rarely pans out for the good.

Move back now before school starts and you can get back in the right direction before things go from bad to worse. I wouldn't wait neither - make plans to go before July!! I am sending you happy, good and serene vibes!!

Dianne

**Darlene** · 06-08-2008, 12:43 PM

Nothing for you where you are. You've done what you can and need to be where you and your family can be safe and living life on your terms. Don't beat yourselves up about this decision, you tried your best & that's all you can do. Sell what you can and move asap.
Wishing you good luck!

**Mom23boys** · 06-08-2008, 12:51 PM

I would suggest moving back as well. If you are already thinking things are going to go from bad to worse, it is time to cut your losses and move back. You already have a 'home' there since you have already made arrangements with your ex-boss. You can always put up postings on Craigslist or Freecycle for furniture and household belongings when you get back home if you need to replace what you do have.

Good luck with your decision.

**leezza** · 06-08-2008, 01:09 PM

I agree with the above folks.....

If your DH can transfer and you have a good lead on a place to live and all I would say get out of here.....You tried to do the right thing to help MIL and she didn't appreciate it....lesson learned now you just need to take care of your immediate family. I agree also about moving sooner rather than later.

What the heck get some aerobeds and start from scratch! You will find that if you are in a place where you are happy and like the area and the people things will quickly come around for you.

Best wishes,
leezza

**Ebbie** · 06-08-2008, 01:13 PM

My very first thought when I read you'd moved from Nebraska to California with a PAY CUT was...but isn't the cost of living in California VERY HIGH?!? How is that going to work?

So I'm chiming in with my vote to move back. But I'm curious why you're hesitating. Are you meeting with objections to moving from hubby or the kids? Because it just seems like an obvious choice to me, unless there is something holding you back.

**Michelle68** · 06-08-2008, 01:22 PM

Tap your ruby slippers and repeat after me: "There's no place like home...There's no place like home." It sounds like California is not a good place for you guys. Get yourselves back to Nebraska. You might be starting all over, but you'll have a better quality of life and you stress will be greatly reduced.

--Michelle

**ladykemma2** · 06-08-2008, 01:28 PM

it is ok to make mistakes and you learned and self corrected quickly

Goal: get home by the end of next week!

**shoiji** · 06-08-2008, 02:04 PM

I would move while you still can. Since you already have the options to be able to you might as well. Sell whatever you can. Years ago my brother (a mover) told me it was cheaper to send things UPS then to move them. Have no idea if this is true now. But I did end up sending three packages. Mostly clothes and silverware. It may be difficult for a while but in the long run you will probably be happier and safer!! If you are moving back to the same area a couple of weeks before you move you can let people know what you may need once you are there, i.e. churches, friends, freecycle, etc. May help with replacing stuff you sold. Good luck, wishing you the best.

**Megareader** · 06-08-2008, 02:17 PM

Come back to Nebraska!!!

By the way, what part of NE had you been living in before? I'm in Omaha.

**Dancing Lotus** · 06-08-2008, 02:26 PM

I agree with everyone else, GO BACK! I think you are a little concerned with having to get rid of your things , but honestly if you stay you won't have anything either.