Well its Official....

**prftstrngr** · 07-29-2008, 08:28 PM

My DH is going back to school. Im not sure if I should be happy or annoyed!

A little background.... in October last year DH lost his job of 10 years and a 70k a year salary to go with it. He basically got downsized in a nasty way and replaced with someone from the company's head office. In other words someone there wanted his job so he got pushed out. He got a *package* and basically got paid until February. He started immediately applying for jobs in his field(he was an IT manager) and soon found out everyone wanted someone with a degree. He is basically self taught and has a grade 12 education. He had just taken various courses and worked his way up thru the company. Since then he has filed for Employment insurance benefits which are less than half of what he was making. So far we have managed to survive without going further into debt but we are definately struggling. His EI counsellor suggested he should apply for them to send him back to school since he is what they consider a misplaced employee....lots of experience...no education. SOMEHOW in all this someone forgot to ask me what I wanted!!! I'm the one who has to pick up the slack. Im the one who has to do the creative accounting to figure out how to manage this. Im also the one who stresses and worries,DH doesnt. So they call him last week and say they will pay his tuition and books and give him so much per week. He is all excited.... Im standing there with my jaw hanging because the income will be dropped another $500 a month!!! He says oh he will just get a part time job...well he hasnt been able to find any job so I dont see how that is happening. Im torn between thinking this is a good thing as he will get the education he needs.....and being annoyed because everything is getting dropped on my shoulders and Im not sure I can handle it. I dont even know if I WANT to!! I know this is long...and yes maybe Im being a little selfish...but I cant do this alone and I dont know what to do to make him realise that. Sorry...guess I just needed to vent...

**cmdarlin** · 07-29-2008, 08:35 PM

I'm glad DH is going back to school but I understand your fustration too Sis! I did accounting for almost 20 years but it was all pretty much on the job training. Now when I'm applying for jobs, everyone wants a degree. I don't know what I'm gonna do about school here. The class I was hoping to take is full and the only other thing they have is part time. Now I don't know if the program I was getting in will pay for the entire course or not and of course my counselor hasn't responded in two days!

I have you guys in my thoughts and prayers.

Debbie

**momishem** · 07-29-2008, 08:44 PM

OMG! We have to be realted somewhere! Our stories are similar. My husband has been laid off for almost 6 months and we are struggling on unemployment. I am left to pick up the slack by working two jobs. Which, isn't a problem in the summer since my main job is in a school. But, I resent having to work full time plus all the part time hours I can get during the school year! He is going back to school and will continue to get unemployment , tuition and books paid, but at what real cost? My sanity??????????????????

What a mess. Keep your chin up!

**larabelle** · 07-29-2008, 08:50 PM

WOW big changes are ahead for you all. I can understand his elation about getting an education. I can also understand your frustration related to trying to keep the budget together without going further into debt.
Has he thought about the fact that if he finds a parttime job he may not be able to work it due to the demands of school (studying, papers, projects, exams etc.). That is what happened to me. I would have liked to work while in school but I took a full load and there was no way I could maintain my grades and work. School can sometimes be all encompassing related to your time.
I know it is a little late to be applying but are there any hardship grants which he would qualify for to assist you all. I know they are paying tuition and books but he should talk to the Financial Aid Officer at this college related to this. Also would he qualify for a Pell Grant since he has several dependents.

**prftstrngr** · 07-29-2008, 08:56 PM

Originally Posted by larabelle

WOW big changes are ahead for you all. I can understand his elation about getting an education. I can also understand your frustration related to trying to keep the budget together without going further into debt.
Has he thought about the fact that if he finds a parttime job he may not be able to work it due to the demands of school (studying, papers, projects, exams etc.). That is what happened to me. I would have liked to work while in school but I took a full load and there was no way I could maintain my grades and work. School can sometimes be all encompassing related to your time.
I know it is a little late to be applying but are there any hardship grants which he would qualify for to assist you all. I know they are paying tuition and books but he should talk to the Financial Aid Officer at this college related to this. Also would he qualify for a Pell Grant since he has several dependents.

We are in canada....no such thing as a pell grant. He will get his full EI benefits until January 2009. After that he will weekly get $296 which is about $500 a month less than he gets on EI. So we have gone from a reg paycheck cut in half to EI and then another cut come January. Im a mess...

**Mom23boys** · 07-29-2008, 10:30 PM

I am sorry you feel frustrated. Have you talked to your DH about how you are feeling? I think he needs to know.

As for going back to school, I think it is a great idea because everyone is looking for degrees now. I have actually been encouraging my DH to take a few classes here and there to get his degree before the same thing happens to him that happened to your DH. Even with your DH attending school full-time, he should be able to work a part-time job if he manages his time right. I currently work full-time and am taking 5 classes. It can be done if you want it bad enough.

I wish your family the best.

**missmanny** · 07-29-2008, 10:46 PM

Maybe it might help to think about the long term... I imagine that the world will be your oyster once he gets his degree if that is all that is holing him back - how long will it take to finnish?

I agree that it is tough if you see this situation stretching off before you into the future with no end in sight.

You and your family are a tough unit and you will get through this. I can't see any reason why he couldn't get a part time job to bring in a bit extra (maybe not in IT but in other areas - more siuted to college)

Good luck with everything

**prftstrngr** · 07-30-2008, 08:31 AM

Originally Posted by missmanny

Maybe it might help to think about the long term... I imagine that the world will be your oyster once he gets his degree if that is all that is holing him back - how long will it take to finnish?

The course is 2 years. They pay for the first year and you have to reapply for the assistance for the 2nd. That also kinda scares me as I fear for some reason he will get thru the first and they will deny him the assistance and we will be no further ahead. I know its good for him to get the education but he is not a worrier. He just figures things will get paid...somehow. I have talked until I am blue in the face and he just doesnt seem to understand that I need to know how and I need it to be set so I can be confident Im not going to lose my house,etc over him going to school! I guess I have always paid everything for the most part so he doesnt really understand. Although I gave it all to him on paper the other night so hopefully he will realise how little is there now!!

**i.m.cheap** · 07-30-2008, 10:20 AM

Well, you could look at it this way. He does not have the $70,000 income now, and has not been able to replace that income (without a degree) even though he has been looking for a job for the last nine months. What kind of pay will he get if he does not go to school? In two years what would that pay be? What would it be if he had the degree?

My DH is also a full-time student. I attend college full-time as well. We both work part time. I am not going to tell you it has been easy, because it is not. We just keep focused on the benefits of having a college degree, and the job opportunities that come with it. That is what keeps us plugging away at school, and eating PB&J sandwiches, keeping the thermostat set on 82 in the summer, and 65 in the winter, and well, you get the idea. We believe with all our hearts that the sacrifices will be worth it.

**dolphin** · 07-30-2008, 11:26 AM

Just sending wishes for good luck for you and your family.

**missyali** · 07-30-2008, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by cmdarlin

I'm glad DH is going back to school but I understand your fustration too Sis! I did accounting for almost 20 years but it was all pretty much on the job training. Now when I'm applying for jobs, everyone wants a degree. I don't know what I'm gonna do about school here. The class I was hoping to take is full and the only other thing they have is part time. Now I don't know if the program I was getting in will pay for the entire course or not and of course my counselor hasn't responded in two days!

I have you guys in my thoughts and prayers.

Debbie

I got this link today and wondered if it would help?

http://www.elearners.com/projectworkingmom/

**Libby** · 07-30-2008, 08:41 PM

Wow sorry to hear this or read this. I am unclear if you work?? But if you both worked part time while he goes to school so you can both live and scrimp/save for his 2nd yr's tuition and if he does get accepted for the grant again then you use that tuition money for savings or something else - know what I mean? Baby steps....one hurdle at a time...as i am cheap said - keep sight of the goal but think about the baby steps you will need to get there.

Is there someone 'plain' he can work now to help supplement the household income? Offer a handy hand to someone? Offer computer repairs from home?

**Marie78** · 07-30-2008, 08:55 PM

My fiance is a full time student: books, tuition, and a little living money are his income. We have been living like this for 3 years now. I have worked for 1 1/2 years of those 3 years (jobs have been difficult to find here). I currently work full time, while he finishes his Doctorate Degree (another 3 years or so). I try to focus on the pay off too, hopefully he will find a great paying job with wonderful benefits when he graduates and we can start a family and I can be home with our future children. I don't know if you have any children, but I am putting that off until my fiance is closer to completing his degree or finished. I wish you luck, it's a big change you are going through.

**C@rol** · 07-30-2008, 08:59 PM

omg, sending positive vibes that everything works out for the best.

**prftstrngr** · 07-31-2008, 07:03 AM

Originally Posted by Libby

Wow sorry to hear this or read this. I am unclear if you work?? But if you both worked part time while he goes to school so you can both live and scrimp/save for his 2nd yr's tuition and if he does get accepted for the grant again then you use that tuition money for savings or something else - know what I mean? Baby steps....one hurdle at a time...as i am cheap said - keep sight of the goal but think about the baby steps you will need to get there.

Is there someone 'plain' he can work now to help supplement the household income? Offer a handy hand to someone? Offer computer repairs from home?

I do work full time and he is looking for part time work. Thankfully my boss picked up a few extra things to do which has increased my pay so we are able to still pay the bills. DH also does webpages and hosting for some local hockey associations which pays well but is only paid out twice a year. We will probably try to save that money in the spring in case he doesnt get tuition money next year.