Ok I just need help in where to start
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    Registered User Wendy Mack's Avatar
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    Default Ok I just need help in where to start

    Ughh we are in debt up to our well over our heads.. and I know we are just one paycheck away from really hurting.. I mean I work full time and so does hubby. We have an unreal amount of loan debt and then the monthly bills that keep slamming into us... I keep trying to save some money for emergencies back .. but hubby keeps having emergencies he just has to have money for... well and the last big one was our son's graduation .. I funded the party from our savings... ughhh wiped us out! I have it back up to almost 200 dollars.. sigh ... and that is at 25 dollars a week into it. I know its not much but it something. I get paid every 2 weeks ... and depending on how many hours I get about 400 dollars... thats for the 2 weeks.. but that is my take home after they take out my health insurance and 401 K... and then i have a christmas club through work were i put in 30 dollars every two weeks.. I hope to have most of my christmas already bought by the time that gets here and I can use the money to pay off something. I can dream can't I!!!?? Sigh so where do I start guys.. I am clueless!!!

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    Registered User lwlynch's Avatar
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    I really have no advice except this... take a deep breath and remember you control your finances they dont control yours. Start with small steps.. example cutting groceries, utilities and such. Maybe work on less trips in the car. Everylittle bit helps. Then start and EF fund. Just a few dollars a week and in a bit you got it going..
    Then pick the bills and I usually pick the small ones and start paying what extra I got to them and just the min. on the big ones and then do them in one at a time. It takes time, you didn't do it overnight..
    good luck and keep breathing.... sorry if I wasn't any help..

  3. #3
    Registered User Wendy Mack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lwlynch View Post
    I really have no advice except this... take a deep breath and remember you control your finances they dont control yours. Start with small steps.. example cutting groceries, utilities and such. Maybe work on less trips in the car. Everylittle bit helps. Then start and EF fund. Just a few dollars a week and in a bit you got it going..
    Then pick the bills and I usually pick the small ones and start paying what extra I got to them and just the min. on the big ones and then do them in one at a time. It takes time, you didn't do it overnight..
    good luck and keep breathing.... sorry if I wasn't any help..
    ughh yah it only took us 21 years of marriage.. which we started out debt free to get this deep.. I mean when we got married.. i was 18 and he was 20... we had 10 grand between the two of us... two vehicles we owned out right ... and then we bought our trailer .. yup young trailer rednecks lol ... and then we still had 5 grand in the bank .... it was heaven .. it wasn't till 3 years later.. a house loan.. and a visit to the doctor to learn that in the 2 weeks it took us to move from the trailer to our little bit of ...and we have not be debt free since then it has only steadily gotten worse. Till i feel I can't breath but hubby just keeps saying but we needed it all. Infact our furnance died in April... have been heating with 2 space heaters... and then two window airconditioners which don't begin to cool our old farm house.. well we need to refinance our home loan which we had gotten down from 40 grand to 21....to add 9 more grand to so we can get a new furnance .. fix the pipe that broke and killed the furnance and the hot water heater ... and then fix the washer pipes which broke and I use a garden hose with cold water to wash all my cloths .. from the basement through the livingroom around the couch.. under the kitchen table into the laundry room ughh i just want to scream... well and then a sump pump to be installed. the back hoe fees to dig up the pipe and get it fixed right .. its over a thousand so far for what they have dug and filled back in .. they are to be back today sometime. well we are hoping it will only take 6 grand to fix those things and then have 3 grand to try to do some cupboards and flooring in the kitchen as they are horrid and its hard to live with a kitchen that way... I ripped up the old carpet.. yes i said carpet cause it had mold near the kitchen sink... and needed to come out so i could put new in ... and the cupboards are orginal from 1880's and they are falling apart... sigh .. deep breath... It just seems so overwhelming!!!

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    Registered User justpeachy92's Avatar
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    As a couple I think you and your dh need to make a budget. You need to decide what are wants and what are needs. You (as a couple) also need to set boundries as to what constitutes an emergency worth raiding savings over. Fixing the source of heat for your house would be an emergency, throwing a graduation party for your son really isn't one. Parties fall under the category of a want not a need.
    Challenges



    EF $3975.00



    debt:
    medical bill $890/$6000

  5. #5
    Rude and Vile Master Greebo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wendy Mack View Post
    Ughh we are in debt up to our well over our heads.. and I know we are just one paycheck away from really hurting.. I mean I work full time and so does hubby. We have an unreal amount of loan debt and then the monthly bills that keep slamming into us... I keep trying to save some money for emergencies back .. but hubby keeps having emergencies he just has to have money for... well and the last big one was our son's graduation .. I funded the party from our savings... ughhh wiped us out! I have it back up to almost 200 dollars.. sigh ... and that is at 25 dollars a week into it. I know its not much but it something. I get paid every 2 weeks ... and depending on how many hours I get about 400 dollars... thats for the 2 weeks.. but that is my take home after they take out my health insurance and 401 K... and then i have a christmas club through work were i put in 30 dollars every two weeks.. I hope to have most of my christmas already bought by the time that gets here and I can use the money to pay off something. I can dream can't I!!!?? Sigh so where do I start guys.. I am clueless!!!
    Tough love follows. This is not intended to beat you up, but give you a frank view of reality.

    Ok - first off I think you have to consider redefining your interpretation of "emergency".

    Funding a graduation party is not an emergency. That is most definitely a want. Christmas clubs are also not an emergency - they are a want. You are having a fundamental dictionary problem - you have replaced the word "need" for the word "want" in your dictionary.

    Time to straighten that out. If you don't, you have no, zip, zero, nada chance of getting out of this hole. You need to impose serious strict financial discipline on yourselves. You are now in your early 40's, if I read this right. You are adults - time to act like it and control your own financial behavior. (This is coming from someone who, two years ago, was in your shoes with the same bad habits, so don't think I'm judging you please!)

    If you will list your income, assets, expenses, and debts (balance, interest rate and min payments), the wonderful FVers here can help you with ideas.

    But #1 is to commit to living on a budget, incurring NO MORE DEBT, and putting together a financial plan. We can help with planning, we can't help w/ you committing to the budget and cash only lifestyle..
    If you could kick in the pants the person responsible for your problems, you wouldn't be able to sit for a month.

    Did you know that a 4 year student paying $20,000/year who finances their education graduates with over $103,000 in debt to start? But a student who works and pays cash and takes 6 years to graduate ends with $6,300 in their pocket! So much for "getting a head start by financing!"


    Greebo
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    WARNING: Y Chromosome behind the keyboard. Adjust your listening filters appropriately!

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  6. #6
    Registered User Wendy Mack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Greebo View Post
    Tough love follows. This is not intended to beat you up, but give you a frank view of reality.

    Ok - first off I think you have to consider redefining your interpretation of "emergency".

    Funding a graduation party is not an emergency. That is most definitely a want. Christmas clubs are also not an emergency - they are a want. You are having a fundamental dictionary problem - you have replaced the word "need" for the word "want" in your dictionary.

    (Ok the graduation party i threw for my son because he deserved it. I had saved the money for it in our savings. So Yes it was a want not a need and I must say he got the benifit of it ... out of me spening 400 dollars he got over a thousand dollars so well worth it... and we put most of the money he got away ... 400 of it went to his pickup payment that the ummm boy went and got on his own(we are not happy the bank loaned him 8 grand with no job and not even 18 at the time) ... but yes tough love is in order for hubby and me!!!)

    And the christmas club was a way to save extra money as our company matches what you save up to 8 dollars and gives us 5% interest so kind of like a savings account I can't get to till christmas time and I hope to use it for paying bills

    Time to straighten that out. If you don't, you have no, zip, zero, nada chance of getting out of this hole. You need to impose serious strict financial discipline on yourselves. You are now in your early 40's, if I read this right. You are adults - time to act like it and control your own financial behavior. (This is coming from someone who, two years ago, was in your shoes with the same bad habits, so don't think I'm judging you please!)

    If you will list your income, assets, expenses, and debts (balance, interest rate and min payments), the wonderful FVers here can help you with ideas.

    But #1 is to commit to living on a budget, incurring NO MORE DEBT, and putting together a financial plan. We can help with planning, we can't help w/ you committing to the budget and cash only
    lifestyle..

    Yah the no more debt is going to be hard.. but I know I Hope to do this .. I am tired of seeing all our money just fly right out the window the minute we get it .. or we already know where its all going before we even get it. Its just getting hubby to go along. But something has to be done I mean we have 3,200 dollars each month just in loan payments!

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    Rude and Vile Master Greebo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wendy Mack View Post
    Yah the no more debt is going to be hard.. but I know I Hope to do this .. I am tired of seeing all our money just fly right out the window the minute we get it .. or we already know where its all going before we even get it. Its just getting hubby to go along. But something has to be done I mean we have 3,200 dollars each month just in loan payments!
    Ok, I'm going to deviate from the DR plan just a little. He's more risk averse than I am.

    What is your home worth now? And again, please list out at LEAST all your debts with balances interest rates and min payments.
    Last edited by Greebo; 08-04-2008 at 10:48 AM.
    If you could kick in the pants the person responsible for your problems, you wouldn't be able to sit for a month.

    Did you know that a 4 year student paying $20,000/year who finances their education graduates with over $103,000 in debt to start? But a student who works and pays cash and takes 6 years to graduate ends with $6,300 in their pocket! So much for "getting a head start by financing!"


    Greebo
    (Nerd Spender): Loving and extremely patiently tolerated husband of ceashels.
    WARNING: Y Chromosome behind the keyboard. Adjust your listening filters appropriately!

    Three
    Two mortgages, two one no car loans, one no credit cards, and a partridge in pear tree!

  8. #8
    Registered User Wendy Mack's Avatar
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    Well the last time it was appraised it was appraised at 79,000 and if you took into effect all the old trucks my husband has been raising on our farm i bet you could come up with another 100, 000 worth of just scrap metal money!!! Its insane I know!!! Ummm dont' know if i worded that right.. I mean if we took his antique trucks... (babies he calls them) and sold them for what scrap is worth .. probably another 100,000 dollars... just sitting rusting in the pasture!

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    Registered User Wendy Mack's Avatar
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    Ok and here is a list of some of the loans we have...

    158.47 a month for a tractor my son bought and has restored.

    326.39 a month for my van

    294.16 a month for our property in Sperry.. its just land that my husband keeps his scrap metal on .. (not his babies lol)

    622.93 a month for a combined 2nd morgage on both our farm and on sperry.

    1003.59 a month for my husband's semi that brings home the bacon we live on!

    419.97 a month 1st morgage on our farm

    150 a month for my daughter's pickup.

    ....oops guess i miss figured. unless i missed something which is possible... we only (roll eyes) have not quite 3 grand a month in loan payments

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    Registered User leezza's Avatar
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    Wendy,

    I am only chiming in because you asked so here goes:

    "You will not get ahead unless you can get your DH on board with you"......it just doesn't work with only one person doing all the work and all of the sacrifice.......and it will make you angry and resentful also......I think it is time for you to have a heart to heart with your MAN.

    Sell all of the babies, scrap metal, ect......

    JMHO,
    leezza

  11. #11
    Registered User Cricketlegs's Avatar
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    First, welcome!

    Second, if posts sound harsh we don't mean them too.

    Now that being said....

    I will say this, if I was up to my eyeballs in debt I would cancel the 401k and roll that into(or start) my emergency $1000 baby EF THEN I would start my debt snowball asap.

    You are just throwing money away in interest charges on your debt. Saving for the future when you have debt is just canceling yourself out--with debt you have no real future--at least not a good one.


    NO NEW DEBT.

    Don't buy anything you don't need--esp more babies or land.

    They should be sold asap really or at least some of them. Rusty old trucks and land won't feed or clothe you when you are old and unable to work.

    I hope your dh can come to understand this.

    It is slash and burn time. Sell what you can, save that EF, start or payoff loans and debt, save more money and get retirement going, pay off the morgage. LIVE DEBT FREE.

    My debt right this minute goes down $700 a month. I work hard to do it for our future. I will soon have more you use on debt as dhs job has changed for the better.

    Will my standard of living spending go up--heck no--my debt payment snowball will!

    I have learned that being dumb about debt is no excuse. I have done dumb, I am so over it.

    Now, as the Mom/wife you can save money around the house. Slash the grocery bills, coupon, get shop savvy, stockpile, park the car as much as possible(I know you work) to save on gas, watch your gas, electricity, water usage, cut back cell phone cable internet packages,wash clothes and dishwasher off peak times, shop sales etc.

    Sounds hard? Time consuming? Crazy even???

    It works.

    Good luck!

  12. #12
    Rude and Vile Master Greebo's Avatar
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    What cricketlegs said!
    If you could kick in the pants the person responsible for your problems, you wouldn't be able to sit for a month.

    Did you know that a 4 year student paying $20,000/year who finances their education graduates with over $103,000 in debt to start? But a student who works and pays cash and takes 6 years to graduate ends with $6,300 in their pocket! So much for "getting a head start by financing!"


    Greebo
    (Nerd Spender): Loving and extremely patiently tolerated husband of ceashels.
    WARNING: Y Chromosome behind the keyboard. Adjust your listening filters appropriately!

    Three
    Two mortgages, two one no car loans, one no credit cards, and a partridge in pear tree!

  13. #13
    Registered User Wendy99's Avatar
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    I agree about selling the babies & even the extra land they are on .... best of luck .. remember all the small things count.

  14. #14
    Registered User Wendy Mack's Avatar
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    Thanks guys for the advice.. I am going to have to sit down with my man ughhh ... and have a heart to heart.. boy i don't wanna be me when we do .. he will have a cow.. cause they are his babies!!!(insert rolling eyes here) Today he is hauling scrap metal off our property in Sperry.. so there is some more income coming in Yippie!!! When its clear of scrap we are selling it.. its just going to take some time sigh ... Not sure if the farmer next door is going to buy it .. or my son .. one of the two so its sold no matter what. ughh ok I am pooped .. worked all night last night.. just got home a few minutes ago... and i get to work again today... honestly guys.. I know the truth hurts... and i have been fooling myself into thinking things were fine.. they are not fine... if the economy goes.. we are sooo going down the crapper. So have to start thinking of us.. and food.. and a roof .. yah know. Thanks guys.

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    Registered User MTS04's Avatar
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    I see you have a loan for your DD's truck...can she make this payment on her own?
    It is what it is.

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