Banging head against the wall!!!

[PrairieGirl]

I hate money.
I hate credit.
I hate credit cards.
I hate debt.
I hate my line of credit.

I am so mad at myself and so frustrated with myself

I racked up (yet again, surprise surprise) about $12000 on my Line of Credit in the last 2 years. Honestly, when I look back on what I bought, I'm truly surprised its that much as I have no idea what I got out of it. And to top of it off, I had a CC with nearly $5000 on it. I managed to pay that off with money I really shouldnt have used but I figured paying 19.35% interest was way too much and so I caved. I was checking over my accounts yesterday and "discovered" I had racked up $1000 on my newly paid off CC in less than a month. How? I haven no idea. On what? A few books....and other junk I dont remember buying

I am so mad at myself!!!!!! This is beyond stupid. Logic cant explain my financial stupidity . I make good money, but not good enough money to ever justify my spending. This is the 2nd time I'm in this situation. I paid my LoC & CCs off 2 years ago with DH's help. He doesnt know I've racked it all up again and quite honestly, I cant tell him as he'll freak right out. I'm pretty sure he threatened divorce last time I did this so my lips are sealed

I cant be trusted with a bank card (thank goodness I lost the one to my chq. account or else I would be in worse shape). I honestly think I need to cut all my cards up and go to cash only. All my accounts are linked so I can pay everything online without the need to take money in or out....The only thing I need CASH for is groceries and petrol.

I just needed to vent my frustration. I'm going to sit down at work tonight (as I'm putting in some much needed OT) to workout my budget and officially cancel my credit cards. I have one that I never use from back when I was in HS (its at home, but not activated) that if need be, I can use for anything that needs to be paid automatically (and I dont know the number so I really cant even use it for online purchases....unlike my current one!!). As much as I love the points and rewards I get on the one I have, the limit is too high (and cant be changed) so I'm done with it.....as soonn as I pay this little ditty off......

I'll post my budget on here once I'm finished with it.....

Money management is not my forte

[Russ]

Well, I think you have taken the first step. You are owning up to the responsibility of the debt. If you believe your problem is that bad and you can not control it, it is time to sit down with the hubby and hand him the CC's.

Post your bills and we will try to help you get started with your budget. Include %, balance and min payment.

We are here to help and support you.

[PrairieGirl]

Ok, so here goes:

Bills (Non-Negotiable):

1. Cable/Internet/Phone = $85.00
2. Water & Sewer = $40.00
3. Gas & Elec. = $200.00
4. My cell phone = $50.00
5. Truck Ins. = $190.00
6. My Moto Ins. = $17.50
7. House Ins. = $48.50
8. Property Taxes = $152.00
9. School Loan = $112.00

Total Bills = $895.00

Savings

1. Furnace (which we desperatly need)/Emerg. Fund = $1000
2. Personal = $200

Total Savings = $1200

Negotiable

1. Groceries (per month) = $200
2. Petrol = $60

Total Negotiables = $260

Grand Total = $2355.00

Monthly Income = $3000.00

Difference = $645

LoC = $370 + and additional $200 from my parents = $570

After LoC Difference = $275 leftover

My LoC (aka the Money Pit) monthly min. payment is $570 (my parents give me an additional $200 as they borrowed some money from me but are paying it back so really, my LoC balance is closer to $19000) with an interest rate of 10.5% (or whatever the market is so its non negotiable)

My CC#1 (aka The Devil) montly min. payment is $30 with an intrest rate of 19.35% based on a 3% min. payment when balance is $1000 (currently)

The two savings accounts I need to keep and keep putting money into because DH and I decided we'd "save" half of my income for things we need for the house. I only need another $500 for the furnace to be paid for it cash (Sept. 31st) so once that is paid for, I'm thinking of dropping my deposits into that account by 75% (down to $250/month) and take the additional $750 and pay down the CC#1. Afterwards, I'd take that $750+$370=$1120 and put it towards my LoC until the end of the year (so for 3 months = $3360). My parents pay me $200/month on the LoC so by Dec. 31st that will be $800. Therefore, the LoC will drop to aprpox. $15000. I ought to recieve a lump payment from the folks at the end of the year for $6000 = LoC = $9000.

Does that make sense? Is this do-able or am I scheming??

Any extra $$$ I make will go towards my CC#1 to pay it off as soon as possibe and then onto the LoC.

One thing I cant cut down any further is our cable as we have basic and I just cut it down from digital to basic and switched our phone for a savings of $40/month)

Yay or Nay?

[mmy2grls]

Is it possible to get your insurance or cell bill cheaper?

[amanjud]

I honestly think I need to cut all my cards up and go to cash only.

This is exactly what you need to do!! It's great that you have realized this. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is learn from our mistakes.

Please be honest with your hubby, cut the cards up together. Remember it can be fixed and it's not the end of the world! GL to you.

[Luv2BeFrugal]

Keep your chin up...and be up front with your Dh. Cancel the cards, cut them up and show him that you did. Then draw a line and start fresh.

You have a plan...you know you can do it! Attack!!

Maybe you can start a thread like some of the other FV'ers have where they "check in" from day to day with their frugal activities and plans for upcoming days/weeks/months? I think it's a great way to be accountable! And it's motivating for the rest of us to read!

[missmanny]

I really think that you need to speak to DH about this, I think that you need his support to fix this up and break some bad habbits.

You aren't a bad person, but I wonder what else is going on in your life that you need to spend all this money?

Start again, you've done it before and you can do it again, everytime you feel like slipping remember this feeling, it will help you along the way to stay focused.

Good luck, we are all here anytime you need a sounding board.

[dilligaf]

I find it great that you are realizing that you have a problem and are wanting to take care of it . At the same time i cant help but notice that you mention you have no idea where it all went since you have nothing to show for all these expenses. That tells me you have an underlying issue in all this spending you do. Perhaps working toward finding out and working through that issue would benefit you greatly in the long run. Especially, since after mentioning that you say you are not telling DH. Once again it tells me that there is more to your spending habit than simply liking to spend money . Then a bit further you also say you have an unactivated card for if you need it after you cut these up. That to me says your head is already justifying working toward rebuilding the debts you say you want to get rid of as soon as you feel you are being pinched in some way .

You seem to be headed down the right track at trying to wipe the debt out again, but reading that you have already done this once , are planning to do it again and already justifying another card activation in an "emergency", i personally think maybe getting to the rot of why you are doing it may be a good idea as well. Good wishes to you

[ladykemma2]

Well, I think you have taken the first step. You are owning up to the responsibility of the debt. If you believe your problem is that bad and you can not control it, it is time to sit down with the hubby and hand him the CC's.

Post your bills and we will try to help you get started with your budget. Include %, balance and min payment.

We are here to help and support you.

ditto that, and... if you are actually keeping secrets and hiding out of control spending, perhaps it's time for debtor's anonymous. get down to causes and conditions, the root of the problem.

i do debtor's anonymous, and so does another poster on here.

[ladykemma2]

I find it great that you are realizing that you have a problem and are wanting to take care of it . At the same time i cant help but notice that you mention you have no idea where it all went since you have nothing to show for all these expenses. That tells me you have an underlying issue in all this spending you do. Perhaps working toward finding out and working through that issue would benefit you greatly in the long run. Especially, since after mentioning that you say you are not telling DH. Once again it tells me that there is more to your spending habit than simply liking to spend money . Then a bit further you also say you have an unactivated card for if you need it after you cut these up. That to me says your head is already justifying working toward rebuilding the debts you say you want to get rid of as soon as you feel you are being pinched in some way .

You seem to be headed down the right track at trying to wipe the debt out again, but reading that you have already done this once , are planning to do it again and already justifying another card activation in an "emergency", i personally think maybe getting to the rot of why you are doing it may be a good idea as well. Good wishes to you

yeah, no different from swearing off booze forever, but keeping a bottle hidden in the linen closet.

[FrugalMomof3]

Do you NOT have a mortgage/rent payment? I didn't see that on your list???

Otherwise, you are a step in the right direction, your admitting your faults and standing up to them, WTG!

[Greebo]

I hate money.
I hate credit.
I hate credit cards.
I hate debt.
I hate my line of credit.

I am so mad at myself and so frustrated with myself

Ouch.

I paid my LoC & CCs off 2 years ago with DH's help. He doesnt know I've racked it all up again and quite honestly, I cant tell him as he'll freak right out. I'm pretty sure he threatened divorce last time I did this so my lips are sealed

That's a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, bad idea.

Hubby may be furious with you for doing this again, and he'll have good reason, but do you really think that setting up a situation in which you are LYING to your husband is going to be better than one in which you are HONEST with your husband? You may be risking divorce if you tell him, if it bothered him so much last time, but when (no, not if, WHEN) he finds out this time AND finds out you were hiding it from him, you think the chances will be LESS that he'll leave? Nuh uh honey. You need to go to him and fess up. Be a grown up about it, and take your medicine.

Ok, that's enough on the stern lecture angle.

I cant be trusted with a bank card (thank goodness I lost the one to my chq. account or else I would be in worse shape). I honestly think I need to cut all my cards up and go to cash only. All my accounts are linked so I can pay everything online without the need to take money in or out....The only thing I need CASH for is groceries and petrol.

Do that, and close the accounts for future purchases. Next, take $30, cash, and go to the book store and buy Dave Ramsey's "The Total Money Makeover" and read it. You may not adopt his program, but it will help you stay committed, I think. I hope.

[mmy2grls]

Next, take $30, cash, and go to the book store and buy Dave Ramsey's "The Total Money Makeover" and read it.


DON'T buy it, get it at the library

[PrairieGirl]

Thanks for all the words of encouragment and criticism!! I appreaciate both very much!

FrugalMomof3 - I should have mentioned this earlier, I dont have a mortgage payment as DH pays it in full and I save my 2 monthly cheque in a household fund; of the $1500 I get, I'm saving $1200 (the rest is going to my debts).

Greebo - I totally understand where you're coming from re: telling DH. But I just cant. I think it has more to do with my own feelings of shame and disappointment in letting him down than anything else. I know that by next summer my debt load will be dramatically reduced and then, and only then, will I consider telling him. Right now, I need to do this on my own. I dont think burdening him with my debt issues is fair to him. Its like cheating.....I think a spouse tells their other spouse (when they know it will hurt them) to make themselves feel better (rather than working on getting past their mistake personally; sometimes honesty is not the best policy). Its my debt, my responsibility, my burden to bear. As long as I am saving money into an emergency fund for us (which I am) and not shortchanging our security, I think I'm justified in tackling this on my own for the time being.

dilligaf:

a bit further you also say you have an unactivated card for if you need it after you cut these up. That to me says your head is already justifying working toward rebuilding the debts you say you want to get rid of as soon as you feel you are being pinched in some way .

I have this card tucked away and unactived because I've had it since I was 18. Its the only card I have I have had in good standing for a long time. On the advice of a financial planner I had seen, he said it was in my best interest to keep the account open as it gives me the longest credit history and keeps me in good standings with banks and all that. I have no desire to use it, no desire to active it...its just there. The limit is only $500 (and I have a note on the account to never raise it without my approval) so the amount is manageable (unlike my current $5000 limit CC and $20,000 limit LoC [which I WILL reduce as soon as I pay it off])

Y'all may not agree with my actions but I am truthful and honest in my desire to be debt free. I remember what it felt like when I made my last payment on my LoC the last time and the shame I feel now that I racked it up again. But my outlook on life and what is important to me has shifted dramatically.

I have been listening to Dave Ramsey's online podcasts and they motivate me a lot. I'm working towards a personal Emerg. Fund currently and we also have a household fund. I will look for the book in my library and read it, thank you for the suggestion.

[Greebo]

Greebo - I totally understand where you're coming from re: telling DH. But I just cant. I think it has more to do with my own feelings of shame and disappointment in letting him down than anything else. I know that by next summer my debt load will be dramatically reduced and then, and only then, will I consider telling him. Right now, I need to do this on my own. I dont think burdening him with my debt issues is fair to him. Its like cheating.....I think a spouse tells their other spouse (when they know it will hurt them) to make themselves feel better (rather than working on getting past their mistake personally; sometimes honesty is not the best policy). Its my debt, my responsibility, my burden to bear. As long as I am saving money into an emergency fund for us (which I am) and not shortchanging our security, I think I'm justified in tackling this on my own for the time being.

Sorry, I'm not buying it.

I'm sorry - did you guys not exchange wedding vows that said something like, "to love and honor, have and hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer"?

Lying to your spouse is not honoring them. Lying to cover up something else you did that didn't honor them is honoring them even less. If I ever did what you've done w/ money and told ceashels, she'd be ticked, sure. If I ever did something like this and DIDN'T tell her? She'd be serving me the mushrooms for real. (She said its to death do us part, even if she has to kill me.)

I'm sorry - I think you have much more serious issues going on here in your relationship than simple money management problems. The money issues are a symptom here, not a cause, in my view.

Y'all may not agree with my actions but I am truthful and honest in my desire to be debt free. I remember what it felt like when I made my last payment on my LoC the last time and the shame I feel now that I racked it up again. But my outlook on life and what is important to me has shifted dramatically.

No, you're not - not with the one person in this equation who matters most next to you yourself.

I cannot participate in aiding you deceive your husband in this manner. Good luck to you.