I am really scared

[momishem]

First of all, let me explain our situation. I am sure it is not much different than many of you out there. My husband was laid off from his factory job of 24 years back on March 7, 2008. He is receiving the maximum unemployment from the state. I work in a school full time and another part time job working with mentally handicapped adults in their homes on the weekends. Before he was laid off, we were just starting to get on track with paying our bills ahead and trying to pay them off. We have a lot of credit card debt, a house, a van etc. Now, nine months later, we are just now starting to get to the point that we cannot make the payments on the credit cards without going behind on the house or van. If we pay the credit cards, we cannot pay the house and van, etc. You get the picture. There is just not enough money to make it. So far, we have not borrowed from family. We have no health insurance. We have applied for Medicaid for the kids and are awaiting approval. We will still have to pay a little each month, but at least that will be something.

I think the hardest part is the phone calls. Our kids cannot be sheltered any longer. They hear us on the phone with the credit card companies and it worries them. We tried to contact all the cc companies before, like a month ago, when we saw that things were going to get bad. But, they said they cannot help us because we were still current and they don't have any programs for people like us.

I am to the point that we are gonna have to pay for the house, van, utilities and groceries and gas. Everything else is gonna have to wait. I am upset all the time but try to hide it. There doesn't seem to be an end in sight. My husband is starting school in January and will be guaranteed his unemployment for the next two years while he is in school. That's nice, but not enough. His company is closing its doors in April and the union is supposed to be negotiating a settlement. RIGHT! So far nothing. Not gonna hold my breath.

I guess, I just needed to rant a little. I know some of you are in my spot with me, some of you have been here and know what I am going through.

I get upset and then I get stronger and think "the hell with them" I am gonna take care of my family first. But it hard when you have always been able to pay everything and have never had creditors calling the house. Makes me want to turn off the phone!

Thanks for letting me let off a little steam!

[madhen]

The creditors can just eat their hats and wait. If they can't work with you until you fall behind, then by all means, you should accommodate them!! Pay what you can, but your shelter and subsistence comes first.

I was in your position a few years back, where I wouldn't even answer my phone because it was pretty much guaranteed to be a creditor. I'd say either invest in a cheap answering machine and keep the ringer off, so you can call anyone back who isn't a cc company, or if you don't have a lot of people to notify, you can even change your phone number. I had a "stalker" calling me once, and I had to change my number twice to get rid of him. The phone company didn't charge me anything, and it also got rid of any other dead weight that had my phone number.

If you are disciplined enough to close your cc accounts once they are paid off, you can look into a home equity line of credit. The interest rate is typically only 5-6%, and it is tax-deductible. It is a slippery slope, though if you borrow money from your equity, then continue spending as if you have a lot of money in your pocket, so it is something you would definitely want to set some ground rules about.

Hope things look up for you SOON!!

[homesteadmamma]

Originally Posted by madhen

The creditors can just eat their hats and wait. If they can't work with you until you fall behind, then by all means, you should accommodate them!! Pay what you can, but your shelter and subsistence comes first.

I was in your position a few years back, where I wouldn't even answer my phone because it was pretty much guaranteed to be a creditor. I'd say either invest in a cheap answering machine and keep the ringer off, so you can call anyone back who isn't a cc company, or if you don't have a lot of people to notify, you can even change your phone number. I had a "stalker" calling me once, and I had to change my number twice to get rid of him. The phone company didn't charge me anything, and it also got rid of any other dead weight that had my phone number.

If you are disciplined enough to close your cc accounts once they are paid off, you can look into a home equity line of credit. The interest rate is typically only 5-6%, and it is tax-deductible. It is a slippery slope, though if you borrow money from your equity, then continue spending as if you have a lot of money in your pocket, so it is something you would definitely want to set some ground rules about.

Hope things look up for you SOON!!

AMEN!! I agree totally.

[rowdy35]

are you familiar with Dave Ramsey and the total money makeover? If not, go get a copy of it from your library. You will get through this but it does take time and it really helps to have a plan.

[momishem]

Thanks for listening. I am familiar with Dave Ramsey and have read his books. I watch his tv show on Saturday nights when I am at my second job. It's just soooooo hard to let yourself go and not at least try to pay these people. We have always been able to do this. I am proud of the fact that it has taken until now (almost 10 months) for us to get into this situation. My husband does side jobs whenever he can, but we have to be careful. I have people make checks out to me. I help him when I can anyhow.

It does help to hear from people who have been or are in the same boat as us. Hopefully, not a sinking one.

I just go through highs and lows. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but it does. But, my family comes first, and as long as we are not going on vacation or eating out and spending money in a unresponsible way, I would have to agree with you all. I mean, with this economy, we are certainly not alone and with hubby going back to school, that can only mean good things for us down the road.

Thanks so much!!!!!

[Missourimom]

We're in the same boat. For the first time in our lives, we're unable to pay all the bills. We always kept up with all of our bills and was never late. We went through our savings and then started to use the credit cards. Our business is on it's last leg and we're going to have to file bankruptcy. It's been devastating to our entire family, but especially my husband who has sank into a major depression. Sending prayers....I hope things start getting easier.

[FrugalMomof3]

I agree with MadHen and everyone else, you have to live, the credit cards can wait and turning off the phone might NOT be a bad idea to gain some extra money, same with cell phones if you have them.

Other than that I surely wish you the best of luck, we've all been there at one point in our lives (us about 1.5 years ago) and it was very hard but we managed and so can you. First thing I would do is start cutting services I didnt need such as phone and cable to be honest and work on down the list.

[Sassyclass]

While I am not in this boat, yet, I agree with above posts. You need to keep your home and transpotation so you can work. Meanwhile you will be in my prayers.

Cat

[Ilovesewing]

Good advice here. Good luck in the new year. Maybe something will turn around for you.

[C@rol]

Originally Posted by momishem

I mean, with this economy, we are certainly not alone and with hubby going back to school, that can only mean good things for us down the road.

Sounds like you have your eyes wide open and
are facing reality and dealing with it. While it's
rough right now I believe you and your family
will get through this. Stay strong and hang in
there.

[MommyBliss]

Hugs to you honey. I agree with everyone else, the credit cards have to come last. Have you thought about bankruptcy? You can still keep your house and your car.

[Cricket1]

Hope things start to look up for you soon.

[jamie79]

Sending you all good thoughts

[Monroe on a Budget]

Are your kids in school and have you applied yet for free or reduced price lunches for the kids? Every little bit will help.

[Michelle68]

Just wanted to send hugs your way. Everyone's given you lots of good advice. Hang in there.