in over my head- how can I cut back?

[Maisiedotes]

Due to some weird job situations, we are pretty much in over our heads in debt. Our expenses are as follows- and FYI we own a house in maine that we are upside down on, and we are currently living with DH's brother in MA (the jobs pay more down here) till we can get out of this mess- which is why we have rent and a mortgage. We want to rent out our house except it needs a roof and a furnace first- and we can't come up with the money to get those...

OK, here is the hard truth: (by the month)
mortgage, taxes, insurance: 885
home equity: 330
rent: 400
car payment: 300
car insurance: 150
credit cards- min pymt: 500
eye surgery payment: 200
daycare: 320
food, utilities (we pay a portion of the electric bill at my BIL's): 200
gas for cars: 200

total: 3485
net income (after health insurance is paid): 3500

We put DD in daycare 2 days a week because it is worth it for me to work on those days to make extra money- and we have nobody else to do it. All of our expenses are things we can't get out of- I spend minimal on food.. can anyone offer any suggestions? Neither my husband nor myself can work more hours because as it is, we work opposite shifts so we can avoid paying more daycare. More hours will mean more expense for daycare... I just don't know what to do. I guess we coudl sell a car but we owe more than it is worth, I believe...

how do I get myself into these messes????? I haven't a crafty bone in my body. I wish I could make and sell something... Thanks for any ideas. I am at my wit's end.

Total:

[thesightofoneself]

do you have a list of your groceries?
can you sew?
do you have anything other then your car that you could sell?

[Maisiedotes]

I am going to try to look into maybe doing a farmer's market with my baked goods. I have to find out the laws in MA about if it needs to be a licensed kitchen.. I may have a lead on a kitchen I can use at a local restaurant. my big issue is that it takes money to make money, and I don't have the money to make the initial investment (like, renting out the kitchen space, etc). I work at a golf course that may let me use their kitchen if I can sweet-talk them... if I did farmer's markets 2 days a week it could generate more income. gotta look into this.... thanks!

[ladykemma2]

how uch equity do you have in the house in maine? what's the worst that could happen if foreclosed on?

what would dave ramsey say?

[FrugalMomof3]

Ok you have a mortgage and rent which you told us about so what is the home equity loan for?

I would have to say that there needs to be more money coming in, is there anyway you can speak to the BIL about lowering the rent since you are low on cash, maybe clean the house in exchange for lower rent?

I say try to sell the house in Maine, atleast for as much as you owe on it or if worse comes to worse let it go into foreclosure (this will ruin your credit).

you say you dont have a crafty bone in your body, try the library for crafting books, you can learn alot there, start small and work your way up.

Best of luck to you! I've been there and I know how hard it is, things do get better.

[Contrary Housewife]

Can you get a better rate on the car or home insurance? What about cutting back on gas usage? Have you filed for your 2008 tax return yet?

Can you get some hours doing house cleaning? The hours can be very flexible. Is DH able to do yardwork? We always have people coming by offering to cut the grass or clear branches for $20. Can you find someone who will watch DD free or cheap for a few hours while you do odd jobs?

[Milly]

Would it be possible to find someone to rent your Maine house, as is, for a reduced rate & some sweat equity? Somebody capable of putting on a new roof, for example?

Someone on this forum (sorry, I don't remember which of us it was) rented a country house at an insanely low rent because they were willing to do some work on it.

At least you'd be bringing in a little extra, as well as getting out from under the utilities in Maine and have a ready-made buyer when you were ready to sell.

I also don't get the $400 rent you pay to your BIL. Are you taking half a duplex or something? If you're bunking with him & his family that seems a bit high, but that could just be my family's persepective. (You need a house, you get one gratis until you get back on your feet.)

[Michelle68]

I agree with Milly about renting out the house in Maine for a low amount in exchange for the renter doing work on the home. (BTW, the FV'er who was able to find such a great deal on renting a home was Cdmarlin.)

I also agree with trying to get your BIL in lower the rent, even by $100/month--at least until you and DH can get back on your feet. Good luck!

[Lady_V]

Do you still have contacts in Maine? Some church groups do repairs on homes for those who need help. Free labor, but you will have to pay for the supplies.

Do you plan on moving back to Maine soon? If you do move back to Maine, will you be able to get a job there? Maybe selling it, as is? You won't get great money, but you won't have the expenses hanging over your head. Selling it as is obviously isn't a first choice, but it is better than struggling and letting it sit as is. The longer the roof stays as is, the more damage.

Can you get back up to the house and have a yard sale? If you couldn't bring your stuff down to MA, it's pretty much sitting up there collecting dust in the house or storage bin.

I know living with family is hard, hang in there.

[Wendy99]

I have no advise, but I'm sorry this is happening to you right now

[rowdy35]

ok, wow, this is a tough one. I am going to say Sell the House in Maine as is. Put it on the market now !! If you have a friend who is a roofer then maybe you could rent it to him for a lower price in lieu of putting on a roof but the odds of that working out aren't that great.

can you or your husband get a part time job on top of your full time job? At least one parent will be there for the child.

also read up on frugal living, learn to make your own detergent, barter babysitting with another mom, think outside the box, sell the car if you have to.. just write everything down and come up with a plan

good luck to you

[phoeny_moonstar]

I don't have any more feedback then what everyone else has already said. But good luck!!

[Rosebush3]

I guess I am gonna be the oddball and say don't sell your house in Maine. You are bunking with family who apparently have no problem taking your money when you are down, how nice it would be to have a home. Do you intend to stay in Mass? You said it was until you got on your feet, from the numbers you posted that isn't going to happen. Selling a house with roof and furnace issues is most likely a lost cause, the suggestion of renting to someone at a much reduced rate in exchange for them working on, and putting money into your home is a good one - also unlikely to happen. You pay $40 a day to a babysitter, is this still your sister who sits at home receiving unemployment besides or have you found someone else? Sorry if I come across a little irritated, I don't think very highly of those you are staying with right now, it sounds as though you are helping them out instead of the other way around.
I guess if your long-term plans are to stay in Mass then yeah, unloading your house in Maine is a good idea, but it was coming across that you were only staying down there until you got on your feet.
Is the better pay you stated down there, really worth it in the end? It's costing you nearly $800.00 more a month just to stay there.

[frugalbabe]

Originally Posted by Rosebush3

Is the better pay you stated down there, really worth it in the end? It's costing you nearly $800.00 more a month just to stay there.

I agree. I think the higher pay you are earning in Mass is being negated by having to pay living expenses in two houses. I would look at moving back to Maine as well. If that isn't possible I would do the following:
- call the cc companies and tell them that you are going to keep making payments but it will have to be less than minimum. They will give you a hard time and this is going to affect your credit, but in the end they aren't going to sue you.
- Look at renting your Maine house in exchange for work done as has been suggested.
- Sell a car even if you still owe on it, it will cut some expenses out (insurance, upkeep)
- I agree talk to your family about reduced rent and utilities in exchange for cleaning etc.

Last of all good luck, you're in a tough spot...keep plugging, blessings and opportunities will come along you just have to recognize them when they present themselves.

[Spirit Deer]

I don't agree with renting the house and having the renters work on it, unless you can find some way to assure the work they do will be done at a professional level. Lots of DIYers like to think they're really good at home repairs, but a lot of them aren't. You do not want to have shoddy work done that will cost you more to have professionally repaired than it would have cost to hire professionals in the first place. I think you might also have some liability issues if your renter gets hurt working on your place.

You may want to re-think renting the house at all if there's any way to avoid it. If you get bad renters in there, they can do a lot of damage to the property which you will then have to pay to repair. And if they're bad renters, you may also get stuck with utility bills they don't pay or rent they don't pay. If they're REALLY bad renters, your house could end up being seized due to drug issues like meth or other scary legal problems. The fact that you would be an absentee landlord makes it harder. If you're living in town to see that the house is being cared for, it's one thing, but unless you're up there frequently, you won't be able to keep a very good eye on what's happening to your house.

OTOH, some insurance companies will cancel your insurance if the house is not occupied for a long time. If you haven't done so, check with your agent to see how they handle that and also ask if your rates will change if the house becomes a rental. They may go up.

I would also look at your cost of living in Maine vs. in Massachusetts, over and above the rent and other expenses you're paying extra for where you are. Is the cost of groceries comparable? Gas, power, etc? Do you have to commute farther than you would in ME? What's the cost difference for gas, wear and tear on your car, needing new tires, oil changes, etc more frequently, on and on? Figure in everything and compare. You might be surprised. Cash flow isn't everything, and even if you're bringing in more money, if you're also spending more for basic things, then you're not really gaining anything even though your income is higher.

If you could drop your expenses by $800 just for rent and other stuff you're paying for that you would not be in ME, that would help offset any loss of income by moving back home. Is your husband is willing to commute farther to get better pay, while living in your house in ME? Sometimes if you're in a small town where living expenses are lower, it's worth it to commute to a better job farther away than you'd like. Some of my husband's co-workers commute 70 miles one way.

I wish you good luck. It's a tough spot to be in, and there aren't any easy answers.