i got myself into a ton of debt back in 2006-2007 because I was being wreckless due to depression and my relationship at the time was on rocky grounds.
Hon, the why really doesn't matter. What's important here is that you accept that you got into the debt.
My fiance is a full time student and all the little money he makes from his school stipend goes into our joint account which is great because it helps me to pay down my debt alot faster (every little bit counts).
Big fat red flag here...why are you using
his money to pay down
your debt? You're engaged, not married. You aren't a union yet.
Now my fiance really hasn't been involved in our finances...i pay all the bills and handle the money. He knows i have debt but not how much.
Does he know he's paying your obligation? Has he consented to this?
lately he's been thinking alot about the money situation and even though he still has another 2-3 years before he starts working (i figured I have more than enough time to get this debt paid off) he's now thinking about saving which i think is great.
i guess my worry is if he ever did find out...
So...no? He doesnt' know?
if he would leave me but then again he really wasn't involved in our finances for years...
While it's utterly foolish of him not to be involved in his finances, especially since you are not yet married, that does not excuse you using
his money to repay
your debt without his knowledge or consent
I think you're headed into a relationship disaster and the only thing worse than being fully and 100% honest with him at this point would be NOT being fully and 100% honest.
i have managed to pay off 10k of my debt as of last week...i will be finished by Jan 2010 if things go well...
By the sounds of it, HE paid off 10k of your debt.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding this - if he only gets a little money from school, how have you paid off 10k? Are you working full time or something?
Ok - assuming I'm wrong, giving you the benefit of a doubt, and this isn't as bad as it sounds, point blank you guys need to be on the same page about money BEFORE you're married. The number one leading cause of problems in a relationship are money, and nothing will destroy trust in a relationship faster than lying to a spouse about something as important as the family finances.
You need to come clean with dear fiance TO-DAY. You can not have a successful relationship founded on lies, even lies of ommission. He may be upset, but I promise you, speaking from the male perspective, if he finds out on his own somehow, it'll be FAR, FAR worse. And if his interest in money matters is growing (meaning he's growing up), he *will* find out.
I really, really hope this situation isn't as bad as it sounds, becuase if it is, you're nowhere near ready to get married.