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Here's where the rubber meets the road!

45K views 378 replies 70 participants last post by  joyofsix 
#1 ·
The stockpile is in place, the EF is doing better than it ever has. The snowball has been rolled forward.. and the layoff slip came in today.

So now it's time to see how all of this works out.

Wierd attitude probably, but silver linings and all that.

In theory he'll be off work until August 15th and then will go back to work full time.

So essentially we're going to lose approximately $1800 over 6 weeks in income.

I'm starting this thread because I intend to keep track of the parts of the frugality plan that work, the parts that need work, and the parts that I never even thought of.
 
#151 ·
No news yet.. :(
But it takes weeks between the rumor and the call around here so, not losing hope, just keeping the powder dry and the house warm!

Still... I think I've come up with a brilliant plan to stave off our immediate execution for non-payment of bills.

So today I called the electric company and the gas company and got put on the "budget plan" where you pay the exact same amount every month throughout the year.

Electric bill $40
Gas bill $70

Those will save us hundreds over the next few months when the bills usually go sky high. They're super low in the summer because we're never home and I use the laundry line and only wash clothes in cold water.

So it might cost us more in the summer.. but right now, that little consideration is just going to have to bloody wait.

All the bills are paid for November
The gas bill is carrying a $50 credit.
The garbage bill is paid until February.

As of February we should get a FABULOUS tax return check!
He makes a ton of money per hour.. so he pays high taxes.. but he only worked 6 months of the year so our income - interest on the house payments = below the poverty line!!!!

We get it all back, and if I get clever enough with the deductions we may even qualify for the earned income credit for the kid.

Best guesstimate.. a check for between 4-5 thousand!

With this we're gonna pay:
$480, the electric bill for the year
$222, the garbage bill for the year
$750, the water bill for the year
$840, the gas bill for the year
total $2292

Bank the rest!

But that means all the "gotta have it" bills other than the rent are paid until.. February 2011.

This should cut our monthly outlay to a point where we can continue to live normally, even on unemployment, for another whole year.

And if he goes back to work (which he will, I'm sure), then it will allow us to save even more money per month to build that EF back up!

But far more important to both of us right now is the idea of that much less stress after this whole financial fiasco. :)
 
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#157 ·
Did I mention that I love you guys?

'Cause I DO, you know!

Sometimes all you need to change "enduring a crisis" into "having an adventure" is friends.
We love ya too and are really looking forward to some good news soon.
 
#154 ·
I have been reading your story. You are a true inspiration. I have been told I may be layed off in the next month or so....I have been trying to take hints from your story. Thank you so very much for sharing.
 
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#155 ·
If you do get laid off, I suggest starting your own thread like this.

You don't have to get super specific with exact amounts owed and for what which is nice, but it does really help to keep me focussed and "on the straight and narrow" with my money and my choices thinking about posting it on FV.

There are days that I really didn't want to open some of my mail.. but I know that's just the first step.. onto Greebo's poop-list! LOL

Each of us faces different difficulties when we have a financial problem, so maybe my strategy wouldn't work for someone, but maybe what you come up with to fix a problem will!

For example, it occurred to me that my super-stockpiling strategy wouldn't necessarily work for someone who didn't have a basement that could fit two freezers and a couple costco shelves in it.

The more of us that share our thoughts, problems, and solutions, the better prepared we can ALL be to face this kind of stuff.

I feel like a war corrspondent from the trenches of the economic recession!
 
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#156 ·
Not too much to report..
We seem to be in a holding pattern at the moment. All our energies this month are focussed on lowering next months bills to the bone. Hubby's unemployment claim will run out on Dec. 19th and although he can start a new one, there's a "waiting week".

Yep.. no money the week before Christmas... ugh. Still, I've got a few little things for the kid already and that's what matters. :)

But talk about throwing our budget sideways. That means we'll only get $1800 in december, and the house payment is $1550.

Something's gonna give, I'm afraid.

We'll do the best we can and hold onto our panties... this is gonna do some damage. Still, we're lucky to be in a position where he can get a new claim rather than wait up to 6 weeks for the determination on an extension..
 
#158 ·
Not too much to report..
We seem to be in a holding pattern at the moment. All our energies this month are focussed on lowering next months bills to the bone. Hubby's unemployment claim will run out on Dec. 19th and although he can start a new one, there's a "waiting week".

But talk about throwing our budget sideways. That means we'll only get $1800 in december, and the house payment is $1550.

Something's gonna give, I'm afraid.

We'll do the best we can and hold onto our panties... this is gonna do some damage. Still, we're lucky to be in a position where he can get a new claim rather than wait up to 6 weeks for the determination on an extension..
Hope this is different for you but when I went from running out of unemployment ( first round ) it took almost 3 weeks ( not quite ) to get my next check. But this was an extension. I don't know what you mean by "new claim" so it may be different.
I do know that 3 weeks just about done it for us. When it runs out, if I don't have a job making at least that much, we're done, sunk, finite. In other words looking for a lawyer. Between our house and health insurance it is $2900. His pay is $2600. We're pulling everything else that the unemployment dosen't cover from the business which is hurting it. As you say, we'll see.
 
#159 ·
"new claim" explanation.

DH filed for unemployment last year near Christmas because he got laid off for two weeks over Christmas and New Years. It's pretty standard on a lot of heavy industrial jobs. A lot of the specialists (Jib Crane operators, underwater welders, etc) come in for the jobs specially from out of state and want to go home to be with their families at the holidays so the companies tend to just shut down for two weeks then start up again after New Years.

In our state when you first open a claim there's a "waiting week" so you don't draw any unemployment for that first week that you're off work, but you do for the next week.

The unemployment "claim" stays open for a year exactly from the first date you filed, so for us Dec. 19th. Obvious DH went back to work after that and worked through July 1st. But when he filed for unemployment there was no waiting week on that claim anymore because he got it out of the way in Dec.

Because the unemployment claim draws on the work you've done before , and DH went back to work after, he doesn't need to file for an extension, just file for a "new claim" based on the work he did after he opened the last one (which was a claim based on work prior to Dec. 19th 2008).

So we'll have another "waiting week" to get through, but that's just standard and thankfully doesn't require anything out of the ordinary. If he had to file for an extension it's a whole 'nother story where they have to "make a determination" etc. and it takes several weeks. :(
 
#166 ·
I would just like to say I don't post alot but have kept up with your post and wish you all the best , I can relate to alot of whats going on with you we are self employed and pretty much no income from Dec thru March and I spend alot of time planning and prepping for those months . Now my question is will your Dh's unemployment benefits change when he opens a new claim ? It has been awhile since we drew unemployment (self employed no unemployment for us) but in our state it is based on the money you made in certain quarters , I do know that states have different rules . Good luck you seem to be doing great in a difficult situation.
 
#161 ·
Do you have freezer room after the moo cow? And where did you find it that cheap?
 
#162 ·
A store called Albertson's up here in the local area has it on sale for 3 days at that price.

I've got room for a couple of smaller ones in the freezer as well as the big bird for thanksgiving. That'll work out ok since I like turkey, but a family of three really doesn't need a really big turkey.
 
#163 ·
I'm having an interesting time emotionally at the moment. I thought long and hard about even posting this since I don't want to fall into the pity party trap.

But after long thought it occurred to me that these emotions are probably a part of this process for anyone who has to deal with a sudden and prolonged down turn in their financial situation. Because of that, maybe it's better to go ahead and discuss them, if only so no one has to think it's just them.

(Unless it's just me... in which case don't hesitate to tell me I'm being a weenie.)

I'm finding myself getting the urge to do things like shopping for shoes, or saying "just screw it! I HAVE to shop for Christmas."

It was really starting to bother me, I mean, it's so stupid and self destructive. Two things I try never to be.. (I didn't say I always suceed, but I do try.)

So why, in one of the more serious financial crisis I've had in decades, with the support of dozens of frugal people cheering me on, with a good stockpile and a solid financial plan for averting immanent doom... am I suddenly having the urge to act like a 17 year old with birthday money burning a hole in my pocket????

I think I finally figured it out.

#1 Shopping is such a habit that it's literally hard to break. I mean we all try hard to have "no spend" days.. "no spend" week after week is HARD!

#2 I really don't like being told what to do.. apparently even if it's me telling ME that I can't go shopping.

#3 Poverty feels like adolescence. Remember when you were a teen ager and your parents had some boring responsibility speech that pretty much got trotted out every time you wanted to do anything fun? Remember when they had control of your money and what you were "allowed" to spend it on?

Poverty really feels like that for me, as if the adult in my brain is always scolding me and the teen aged part of my brain is about to get really defiant.

My intellect knows that giving in to that wicked little voice that says.."it's only $5, no big deal." could derail us pretty easily. But the little voice honestly doesn't care...

So I'm stopping by FV a few times a day and reading articles etc to keep myself on track. But honestly, it's a real struggle right now, made even more obnoxious by the knowledge that it's just me being emotionally immature that's the problem.
 
#168 · (Edited)
I'm having an interesting time emotionally at the moment. I thought long and hard about even posting this since I don't want to fall into the pity party trap.

But after long thought it occurred to me that these emotions are probably a part of this process for anyone who has to deal with a sudden and prolonged down turn in their financial situation. Because of that, maybe it's better to go ahead and discuss them, if only so no one has to think it's just them.

(Unless it's just me... in which case don't hesitate to tell me I'm being a weenie.)

I'm finding myself getting the urge to do things like shopping for shoes, or saying "just screw it! I HAVE to shop for Christmas."

It was really starting to bother me, I mean, it's so stupid and self destructive. Two things I try never to be.. (I didn't say I always suceed, but I do try.)

So why, in one of the more serious financial crisis I've had in decades, with the support of dozens of frugal people cheering me on, with a good stockpile and a solid financial plan for averting immanent doom... am I suddenly having the urge to act like a 17 year old with birthday money burning a hole in my pocket????

I think I finally figured it out.

#1 Shopping is such a habit that it's literally hard to break. I mean we all try hard to have "no spend" days.. "no spend" week after week is HARD!

#2 I really don't like being told what to do.. apparently even if it's me telling ME that I can't go shopping.

#3 Poverty feels like adolescence. Remember when you were a teen ager and your parents had some boring responsibility speech that pretty much got trotted out every time you wanted to do anything fun? Remember when they had control of your money and what you were "allowed" to spend it on?

Poverty really feels like that for me, as if the adult in my brain is always scolding me and the teen aged part of my brain is about to get really defiant.

My intellect knows that giving in to that wicked little voice that says.."it's only $5, no big deal." could derail us pretty easily. But the little voice honestly doesn't care...

So I'm stopping by FV a few times a day and reading articles etc to keep myself on track. But honestly, it's a real struggle right now, made even more obnoxious by the knowledge that it's just me being emotionally immature that's the problem.
OMG..you could be my twin. I couldn't have written this better about myself than what you wrote.
Last year we didn't even put up a tree we were so depressed. The 4 older kids got nothing and the (then ) 17 year old got 3 things I had gotten earlier in the year. No shopping, no credit cards, no cash..NOTHING. We were good, doing what we thought we needed to do as good people. Doing this for the second year in a row is killing me. I'm seriously thinking I'm going to do SOMETHING this year. Even if it's wrong. I'm going to say something I know I'll probably catch he## over on this board but I know we're going to go down, probably bankruptcy. It's just a matter of when. It will be after the first of the year but it's going to happen when Wells Fargo kicks in with their payment changing from $500 to around $3000. That is also the point when my unemployment will be close to being done. That's if we're lucky. So I'm getting the thoughts of if this is going to happen, why not enjoy Christmas at least a little.
Thevail, it's hard. I surely can't help on this one as obviously we are having the same thoughts. Although you at least have a good chance of pulling thru this shortly. I so totally with all my heart hope so. As someone else on here said, sometimes you just gotta do what you have to...which is have something close to normalcy. Depression is a horrible, horrible thing. Especially for a child, whether it is a teenager or not.
 
#164 ·
~*hugs*~

Can't you give in by getting something nice for yourself that does not cost a lot and will last you some time?
You know, like a really nice (loose of course) tea that you can use as a treat or a big bar of chocolate, a nice showergel, a candle that reminds you of warmth and hope?
You've then "caved in", but only for a few dollars that will probably last a few weeks (well probably not the chocolate, if you're a bit like me).
Perhaps you can use your change jar for that: 30 dollars to your EF and the rest for a nice treat?
 
#165 ·
I think you are really wise and very insightful !!!! I understand 100% what you are saying on "wanting shoes etc". Dh wasnt even laid of 4 months and I felt a reckless urge to spend on stuff I shouldn't. Even when he went back we needed time to save back up a more EF so we still couldn't treat ourselves. Dh seemed to handle it lots better. However I do the money, budgeting and most of the "stretching" stuff around here. Meaning I see the numbers daily!

Now I'll tell you the truth. We dug out some coupons out of the paper ( but one bet one 1/2 Chinese buffet) and got a deal and went out for lunch! Should we have? Probably not but for about $12 with tip) we both felt perked up. I don't think it really was the $ spent but getting to do something "fun" alone besides sit in the house or fish. It was a sense of what our "normal" pre unemployed life was and we both loved it and the monotonous menu seemed not to bad after. It even felt great to leave the lady that brought drinks and cleared the table a few $'s! I hope some of that made sense. I haven't had enough coffee yet!
 
#167 ·
Thevail You feel that way because your human and every now and then a little self pity is justiified. You have had a hard road and braved it like a trooper its coming on the holiday season and its tough to be deprived but you will make it. I have every faith sometimes you have to splurge alittle and just say wth. Do a little something that reminds you of your life before the crap hit the fan and I promise you will feel better
 
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#169 ·
:hugz: My dh is the same way. He just feels like he NEEDS to treat himself. I think that's normal. And eveyone's allowed a little bit of feeling down. Would going out for coffee and dessert or something small relieve the feeling? :hugz: again
 
#170 ·
Thanks for hearing me out and all the words of encouragement!
Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.. I got a 30% off coupon for my local thrift store.. hmmm..

Niko... gentle hugs for you honey... I wish I could just touch you for a minute, just so you would not feel so alone..
 
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#171 ·
RETAIL THERAPY>>> SUCCESSFUL!



original price at thrift store $3.49
- 30%

final price $2.45

Not feeling like a nut-job... PRICELESS!

Thanks guys!
 
#175 ·
I just found this thread and read every post. Wow, I don't know if theavail and NikoSan999 realize what strong people you are! I would never judge anyone for their decision on spending. Please take good care of yourselves, you both are in my thoughts and prayers.

Keep us posted so we can lend support. Lots of hugs to both of you!
 
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#176 ·
No one of us knows how strong we are... But if we're lucky the word is.. enough.

I just went from being utterly bummed and super hard on myself..

To having my friends on Frugal Village encourage wanton shoe shopping! Now I have cute shoes... and a lovely sense of friendship and irony. Much much better!
 
#177 ·
Ok, girls, you all made me cry. I'm sitting here at 6 in the morning and blubbering. And yes, sometimes I do feel alone. I thank goodness I found you guys. I guess this is truly what could be classified as long distance friendship only without faces. Love you all.
 
#179 ·
Stop crying tissues cost money lol Niko i wish I had enough money to that I could be a secret beneficiary to you and all those who suffer Do not worry about about what some judgemental people think about your situation. I think this is a wonderful board but sometimes alittle harsh regarding some matters As Johen Wayne said amans gotta do what amans gotta do I sincerely hope something wonderful happens and you dont have to go bankrupt but if you do please know the sun will still rise the next morning and life will go on and hopefully will be better. Ps If I were you and I knew something was inevitable I would get some Christmas presents too. You have bled enough HUGGS
 
#180 ·
Niko..

I don't think anyone here who knows about what's going on in your life would be hard on you. It seems like we're all really tough on each other sometimes, but I think that's mostly because that's sort of the purpose of this forum. We are each other's Jiminy Cricket voice!

I know that I come here on and off all day, and sometimes it's to have someone kick my behind so that I don't do something tragically stupid just because I'm upset.

But other times... my behind is already sore enough from being kicked by life. The ultimate goal of frugality in my mind is to be HAPPIER!

Happier because we're not crushed under a mountain of debt, happier because we feel in control of our finances, happier because we know that we're not sabotaging ourselves in a million small ways and keeping ourselves from reaching the goals that will truly make us.. happier.

It's too easy sometimes though, to get caught in calculator games. It's easy to count some things like money saved in an EF, or the amount we saved on our electric bill.

And if that's all we go by, then being frugal is just a very simple road of spending a smaller and smaller percentage of what we make as time goes on. The hardest part of being frugal is to know exactly where and when is "enough".

There are a lot of other things in life that matter just as much or more than money, but that are a lot harder to count. Things like how many times per day do you smile. How much do you love your life. How happy are you.

You are doing enough, and have been doing enough for a long time. You are GOOD enough, and FRUGAL enough, and RESPONSIBLE enough, and CLEVER enough, and emotionally STRONG enough.

No boxer wins every fight, no team wins every game, and no family beats the odds every time. I hope that things turn around for you very soon, but if you lose this round... there will be another fight you'll win.

Besides, this is only the worst financial crisis in America in our lifetime.. if that is what you're fighting.. then staying in the ring this long is a triumph!
 
#181 ·
Another Nike saying "Livestrong" by Lance Armstrong comes to mind. We all have to stay strong and live strong. We are aloud to have a good cry though and feel sorry for ourselves. I think it helps put things back into perspective.

My husband took a pay cut and is looking at another one. He still has his job, for which I am grateful. I still have my job. We have no EF to speak of. If we were to lose our jobs we would be royally screwed.

I try not to dwell on the fact that we don't have an EF. It will make me nuts. We are looking at cutting back our cable/phone/internet bundle. I do fairly well with the grocery bill, could do better. Enough about me.

I am thinking and praying for you both.
 
#191 ·
Another Nike saying "Livestrong" by Lance Armstrong comes to mind. We all have to stay strong and live strong. We are aloud to have a good cry though and feel sorry for ourselves. I think it helps put things back into perspective.

My husband took a pay cut and is looking at another one. He still has his job, for which I am grateful. I still have my job. We have no EF to speak of. If we were to lose our jobs we would be royally screwed.

I try not to dwell on the fact that we don't have an EF. It will make me nuts. We are looking at cutting back our cable/phone/internet bundle. I do fairly well with the grocery bill, could do better. Enough about me.

I am thinking and praying for you both.
Raven, I am so sorry you and hubby are going thru bad times also. As Thevail said, this has apparently become the coffee klatch for the unemployed/need a shoulder/sounding board and most of all support group. Oh my, and what a support group Thevail has started. And best of all we don't have to pay a therapist!!!! Grab your computer, a cup of coffee and a comfortable chair and know someone here cares unlike the therapist who you pay to listen and HAS to be there.

I'm hoping things improve for you also. Just knowing that apparently I have long distance friends out there has helped me more than you could know. I have friends here at home that aren't as supportive as the ones here at FV.

So any time you wish to "dump" come to the coffee klatch...
 
#182 ·
Hey Raven... it's Ok.. this seems to be the "coming up for air" thread at the moment, and that's a GOOD thing for all of us!

Today I took a walk along the sea, there was a break in between the massive storms we've had up here for the last few days.

It was beautiful.. there were a lot of trees blown over and the high tide mark was about 6 feet up on the grass.. a big ocean going ship was stranded on a sand bar in the harbor and all the little tugs were straining their hearts out to pull her off before the next storm hit..

And getting nowhere..

At first it made me sad.. it was so futile.. but then I looked more closely at the water and began to laugh.. the wind carried it away so fast that I almost couldn't hear myself laughing..

All those little tugs pulling frantically, smoking and straining..

When they only had to sit back, stay safe, and wait a bit..

You see the tide had just turned... no tug could pull the ocean liner free... but the rising tide would lift it clear easily.
 
#183 ·
All those little tugs pulling frantically, smoking and straining..

When they only had to sit back, stay safe, and wait a bit..

You see the tide had just turned... no tug could pull the ocean liner free... but the rising tide would lift it clear easily.
Ahh...I see said the blind man..and he heeded the wisdom of the ages...

I'm going to read a little and be back tomorrow. I'm really tired. Didn't sleep and dead dog tired.

Have the courage to change what you can change, the serenity to accept what you cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.
 
#184 ·
On to installment # 667 of the unemployment/thinking about money thing..

Today I started thinking about the difference between being in a financial crisis and being broke.

When you're in a financial crisis, money is tight, and it's a struggle to pay the bills etc. You end up robbing Peter to pay Paul on time, and hoping you can get together enough money to pay back Peter when that bill comes in. You feel like you're dancing faster, and faster on the edge of a cliff, until you're really afraid you'll fall.

But when you're actually broke.. you're completely out of options. Peter's broke, and Paul is too! There's no more juggling anything, you've fallen off the cliff and taken the balls down with you.

I guess at this stage we're still in the dancing phase...

We're paying the bills, and slashing them to the bone all at the same time. We keep trying to push the bills ahead a bit, paying a bit extra here, and a bit extra there knowing that the real crisis moment will come in January. If we can just get through that we should get the tax return in February and be Ok again for a while.

I spent $100 on food the other day, and felt kinda bad about it. But then it occurred to me that as long as the stockpile is still OK, we still have the option of just not spending any money on food at all for a week or a month if we have to.

The stockpile is buying us options with our budget. Just like paying a little extra on the gas bill last month means that we have the ability to pay the electric bill in full this month, and maybe a few bucks over, which in turn makes it easier to pay the full gas bill next month.. etc.

The money we spent on our freezer full of beef is less money we have to pay bills.. but.. it means that the most expensive part of our food budget is covered for the next six months minimum.. more options.( it is somehow comforting to think that if it all goes pear shaped.. we'll just be stuck eating steak cooked on our Bar B Q!)

Anyway, I'm just meandering now.. but I guess my conclusion was that when you have a crisis you just have to do absolutely everything to keep the music going, no matter how weird, because then you can keep your options open, and keep dancing however perilously. It's when the music stops that you're in real trouble.
 
#193 ·
On to installment # 667 of the unemployment/thinking about money thing..
When you're in a financial crisis, money is tight, and it's a struggle to pay the bills etc. You end up robbing Peter to pay Paul on time, and hoping you can get together enough money to pay back Peter when that bill comes in. You feel like you're dancing faster, and faster on the edge of a cliff, until you're really afraid you'll fall.

But when you're actually broke.. you're completely out of options. Peter's broke, and Paul is too! There's no more juggling anything, you've fallen off the cliff and taken the balls down with you.
Fantastic way of putting it. When we were having real money problems a few years ago, there was always in my mind the image of Doomsday, the day we truly ran out of options. Everything we did was just about trying to push that day a little further into the future, to keep it at bay.

Doomsday isn't when you can't pay a utility one month. It's when all of them are multiple months behind, you've already had them set up a payment plan and now you can't meet that either.

Doomsday isn't when your checking account is down to the last dollar, it's when your paycheck doesn't even cover the amount you are overdrawn.

Doomsday isn't when you start to worry about foreclosure/eviction. It's when you call your parents and tell them to be ready next week to wire you enough cash to get gas to come live with them.
 
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