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Progress Made...But Still...

4K views 27 replies 17 participants last post by  MommyBliss 
#1 ·
Hi all..

Many of you are already familiar with recent events in my household, but for those who aren't, I'll briefly summarize:

-Single mom, DS18 living at home, DS11 living with dad in another state (lost $500 a month in child support when he moved to dad's this summer - state law says one kid living with each parent with both parents making roughly the same income means no child support changes hands.)
-DD21 just moved back home with me and is pregnant, no baby daddy in the picture.
-I work full time, make less than $23,000 a year.

DD21 arrived here 11/18, and we have been scrambling ever since to get applications in for assistance for her and looking for a job she can do until the baby is born.

Here's what's been done so far to that end:

-applied for WIC (was put list for appt. - 12/21 is earliest available)
-applied for Medicaid & Foodstamps - apps pending approval
-signed up for orientation for the No Worker Left Behind program, where she can receive free CNA training classes in hopes of getting a CNA job later, and then progressing towards a nursing degree.
-Applied (today) for jobs at Blockbuster Video, local hospital kitchen & laundry, WalMart, and KMart, in hopes of possible seasonal hiring.
-Signing up for all kinds of baby & pregnancy freebies

Now...comes the interesting part. I had a second job for a few months this summer, but quit it when it became apparent that DS18 needed me to be home more. He has some learning disabilities that make it very difficult for him to complete tasks without supervision, which means his schoolwork wasn't getting done - at all. So, to "be there" for him, I got rid of the 2nd job, which was making up the shortfall from the loss of child support when DS11 moved to his dad's this summer. I figured with just DS18 and I in the house, we could make it on my full-time job income and what little extra I could make selling on Ebay. But then DD21 had to come home due to her loser boyfriend abandoning her...so she is here with no job at this point, which means an extra mouth to feed.

When DS11 moved this summer, the loss of income from the child support hit pretty hard. Then there were some vehicle repairs...then medical bills...so you name it, it's kind of happened this year. The end result is that I got behind on my rent, my main utility bill (heat & lights) and now the vehicle needs more repairs and maintenance than I can afford.

Landlord is very understanding and is allowing me to pay off the arrearages on the rent by paying a little more than the normal amount every month, but I sense from our latest conversations that her patience is running out, and she'd like it paid off as soon as possible. (As would I!)

Utility company is much less understanding, and is only willing to offer me a payment plan of $200 A WEEK until the bill is paid off. Their previous payment plan is what made the bill so large to begin with (pay a portion of the bill every month, which means the bill just keeps getting bigger every month, because it's never entirely paid off...). I have an appointment on Tuesday to see if I can get help with this bill from a local agency, but I am not entirely sure I qualify, so I'm not counting on it.

The vehicle needs tires, brakes, oil change, tune up, and a few sensors replaced. It's basically all maintenance stuff that has just all started to wear out at the same time - go figure.

So here's my plan. I have a possibility of borrowing the money needed to catch up on the rent & utility bills, and to repair the vehicle. It's not a sure thing, but it's really my only chance to get these things caught up so I can get back on top of things, and the payments can be deducted from my paycheck automatically (it's through my employer). It's not a 401(k) loan or cashout - it's actually a loan. I'm really hating the idea of doing this, but I've looked at all other options, and this is really the only thing I can do right now.

I guess my main reason for posting this was to vent, and to see it all out in writing....it makes it easier to deal with, I guess, if I can see the reasons for asking for this loan in black and white. Sorry to babble!

Just please keep a kind thought, a prayer, a good wish in mind for me this week. I need to pay a large amount on my rent this week, and the utility company is barking at the door. Not to mention the vehicle continues to be something that worries me every time I drive it. If I can get those three things taken care of, and those applications we've placed start coming through, the rest will be relatively easy!!

Thanks!
 
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#5 ·
(( hugs ))
Not sure but wondering if you qualify for some food stamp help.
And help with your heating bill. We have a HEAP program in NY.
 
#6 ·
First,pat yourself on the back for handling your tough situation that just got a little tougher. While taking out a loan is not great you need a place for all of you to stay and a safe car for baby.
Would you qualify for a heating credit or is that just for homeowners?? Thaw??
W/ your income and support for all of you you have to qualify for something. Keep the fire under your behind but make DD21 do her part as your plate is heaped. Blessings.
 
#7 ·
Man, when it rains it pours. If the daughter dosen't get a job off the bat can she help the son with the homework etc?

Would she qualify for foodstamps? Or you?

Thinking of you and fingers crossed that all of it comes thru and quick. Long distance hugs
 
#10 ·
#11 ·
Many thanks to all for the good wishes and advice.

Yes, we've applied for foodstamps - app is pending approval, may take up to 30 days.

DD21 has applied for all available assistance, again, apps are pending approval. She couldn't even get in to talk to anyone about WIC until 12/21, and her Medicaid app is pending approval at this point.

Unfortunately, me getting another 2nd job right now is not going to work - DS18 needs ME to supervise him - DD21 wouldn't be much help in that area. They're too close in age, and her tendency would be to blow it off.

Believe it or not, according to the state, I make too much to qualify for their home heating credit on my taxes, and I make too much to qualify for LIHEAP. We MIGHT qualify for help from EightCap, which is where I am headed this week to see if we can get some help. The lady I spoke to there was totally understanding of my situation with the utility bill & how thier "budget plan" leads to your bill being so large that one missed or late payment puts you in hot water. She said they get people asking for help all the time because of their so-called 'budget plan'. Especially elderly people who are on a limited income.
 
#12 ·
I think the income requirements for a lot of the state stuff is a bit high...I tried to get food stamps once for me and DH when I was not able to find a job last year and we would not get approved. DH was bringing home around $280 a week after insurance. That did not even pay all of our bills such as rent, water, electric, heat. We had to go to churches many times to get food...

I wish they would look at the big picture sometimes.
 
#13 ·
I know what you mean, Ashley. I was shocked to find a few years ago that I didn't qualify for the home heating credit on my taxes from our state. I qualified for a lot of things, being a single parent and head of household, but not that - and it was because of my income.

I think the max. income for that for my family size was something like $18,000.

Anyway..it's a new week, we've put in quite a few job applications for DD21 over the long weekend, the Christmas tree and lights are up, and the house is clean...so there are some things to feel good about! LOL

Now I just need to find a way to get some sleep! This staying awake until 2-3 am each night can't keep happening. But if it happens again tonight, I'm going to take advantage of it and work online.
 
#16 ·
When you applied for food stamps, was it just for you and the son ? Were you able to count the daughter as part of your household ? She currently has no income correct ?

And for the heap programs, you might not qualify for the regular heap but sometimes you can qualify for the EMERGENCY heap because their income guidelines are higher.
 
#17 ·
DD21 had to apply for the foodstamps & medicaid for herself, because she is over 18 and not in school. They consider my income because she is in my household. We're still waiting to hear on that, could be 30 days from date of application.

I don't qualify for either LIHEAP or the emergency utility program through the state - they say I make too much. I do have an appt. with a local agency tomorrow to see if I can get help with the utility bill, and from what they said on the phone, it sounds like we qualify.
 
#18 ·
I don't qualify for either LIHEAP or the emergency utility program through the state - they say I make too much. I do have an appt. with a local agency tomorrow to see if I can get help with the utility bill, and from what they said on the phone, it sounds like we qualify.
Good luck with your appointment tomorrow! I hope you qualify!
 
#19 ·
UPDATE:

Went for the appointment at the local agency yesterday and got approximately 1/2 of the utility bill paid, which is the maximum the agency's guidelines allowed them to do. So it's not what I was hoping for, but it's a start, and I'm very grateful for the help! :applause:

No news on the small loan yet. The 'big guy' was 'hard to read' today, according to his secretary, but knew that I was on the list to meet with him. She tried to remind him of it, but said he was 'pretty noncommital'. I don't know what that means - that he was just busy, or didn't plan to meet with me. There's still tomorrow...but I'm not hanging my hat on it. At this point, I'm going to proceed as if we're not going to get that help. It's not that we won't make it without the help, but it would make things a lot easier. I know he has a lot on his mind with all that's going on with our company right now. (Just a note, any help he gives employees, such as what I'm asking for, comes out of his own pocket, not the company's.)

We did find out that we are getting a Christmas bonus this year, which was a surprise. There were layoffs and reduced work hours for the entire company this year, so we figured there wouldn't be any bonuses. What we are getting is greatly scaled back from years past, but at least it's something. I'll be getting $150. I figure it's $150 I didn't have before. It will go towards bills.

There is a Red Cross food bank this weekend. We'll go to that and get some help there. I'm still hoping DD21's food stamp and Medicaid app gets approved soon.
 
#22 ·
Sue - just read through your post and am really impressed with you, your attitude and approach to this whole situation. Am glad that some areas are getting better. Keep plugging away at all your sources. You are setting a great standard for your children - congratulations and good luck!!
 
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#24 ·
Wow! I was just reading through some posts and saw these responses to this thread from yesterday! You folks really are enough to make a person tear up, ya know! :grouphug2

Things are actually going extremely well! We have been blessed beyond measure with the way things are working out. I posted something in the general chat forum about Christmas blessings, but I'll reiterate some of it here to bring you up to date.

DD21 has been approved for WIC, Foodstamps, and Medicaid. All starting immediately. She receives an allotment of Foodstamps for December AND January, so it's almost like she's getting 2 months worth of food money in one month. We expect that card and her Medicaid card soon. She already has her WIC card.

We went for her first prenatal appointment yesterday, and since she left my home at a fairly young age and never had her first annual exam, they did that at the same time (big relief to me, I'd been on her to have one for a long time). All covered by Medicaid. She was given a prescription for prenatal vitamins (free at our local Meijers - how cool!). The doctor's office gave her a very nice pregnancy book that covers all aspects of the pregnancy and postpartum period. Her doc is very thorough, but also very blunt and matter-of-fact, and offered DD21 advice on everything from birth control to whether or not to name the father on any paperwork, and why. (Pursuing child support means he has legal rights to see the child and possibly attempt to get joint custody at some point. Not naming him on the paperwork or pursuing child support stops that, unless he pursues it himself, which we doubt.)

We heard the heartbeat for the first time yesterday, which was thrilling! Nice heart rate, good and strong. Everything else appears to be healthy. Doc estimates DD21 to be about 20 weeks along already (I knew it!), so due date is sometime in May, possibly late April. The ultrasound on 1/5 will determine that more closely, and we will be able to find out the sex of the baby at that time. This is finally becoming more real to me - I was pretty much in denial until the doctor confirmed that DD21 was indeed pregnant, and we heard the heartbeat. She still isn't really showing much, because she had a chunky build to begin with, so I guess that's why it didn't seem real to me at first. It will be even more real once we see that ultrasound!

Still no job for DD21, but she has been able to do some work for our pastor's wife, who has a severely autistic adult son that lives with her. She receives respite care money so that she can hire someone to come in and do housework, yard work and laundry, so she can get a bit of a break. DD21 and DS18 have been helping her out this week, so they will both be getting paid for that. So, in essence, I guess she does have kind of a job!

I was able to get the loan I've mentioned in past posts, from my employer, which will be repaid through payroll deductions, and at a very low payment every month. It has been a HUGE help - I was able to pay off the back rent and get December's paid in full. I was also able to get a couple of much-needed projects done around the house, including having the furnace serviced, which has made a major difference in how warm the house is. DS18 is insulating our garage for his Senior Project (required for graduation), so I bought some supplies for that project as well. The landlord agreed to take the amounts I paid for these projects off of next month's rent, so though it would have been nice to have that money for other bills or Christmas this month, it will be a really big help next month to only have to pay about $150 in rent! LOL That will be a big help next month, as I am hoping to make a trip to see DS11, who lives with his dad over 600 miles away. I can't go a whole year without seeing him, and it's already been 6 months. If I don't make the trip next month when I get my tax refund back, I won't be able to do it at all, and won't see him until June.

Sorry, I know this was a lengthy post! I just wanted to share the wonderful blessings we have received so far. This situation didn't start off so great, but with lots of prayer, helpful advice and friendship from here and at our church, it is all coming together very nicely!
 
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#25 ·
Suebee - Christmas Eve is the perfect time for you to post and share all of your blessings with us!! I am so glad that things are moving along so well and you are all getting the support that you need!! Please stay in touch!!
 
#26 ·
I'm glad that things are looking better. Especially the loan from the employer. How nice of him to do this out of pocket. Food stamps will definitely be a big help. Keep us up to date on how things are going cause we really do care. Merry Christmas and have a wonderful peaceful day.
 
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