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For BerryWriter and Greebo

3K views 25 replies 12 participants last post by  guest101012 
#1 ·
I've been lurking for a very long time, and the recent thread on bankruptcy sparked me to finally register to speak up. First, I want to give Berry a big hug. I know you have been through so much in the last year, and the important thing is that you have made it through the storm. I wanted you to know that through my many months of lurking, I have found Greebo's advice to be very helpful and not emotional. I think that can be hard to interpret the right way being in print with no voice inflection or body language. Speaking on a personal note, I wish I had found this site and Greebo's advice 3 years ago. You see, I filed for bankruptcy 3 years ago when, in hindsight and knowing what I know now, I probably did not need to do. I had an excellent credit rating prior to making this decision but felt at the time it was my only option due to a divorce and failed business all in one swoop. Due to my income, I had to file for Chapter 13. So, I'm still paying on it for 2 more years (5 years in all), and it is a thorn in my side. Yes, I have had to worry about finding a house to rent due to my credit. Luckily, my husband knows someone who manages properties and was willing to rent to us. I want you to know that it is a long haul. But you will get through it. I can tell you have made peace with the situation, and I know how that feels. It's like a huge weight lifted off your shoulders that waiting for an lawsuit (that may or may not happen) just piles on. No matter what, you can make it through this. On a side note, my sister-in-law filed for Chapter 7 at the same time I filed my Chapter 13, and she has already purchased a house within the last year. So there is hope. This isn't the end of the world.

That being said, I do wish I had taken the other road that Greebo spoke of. Having read the thread, I know his advice came from the right place. It just got a little bit escalated due to a misunderstanding. I purposfully look for Greebo's posts because he is a truthful, honest and knowledgable source for information. So to Greebo, from the bottom of my heart, thanks for all the information over the last few months.

Now what I'm doing now that I have found Dave Ramsey and from finding this website is like night and day. I just paid off my car on Monday a year and a half early, and now I'm going to be maxing out my 401k and contributing to my 8 month EF. I will purchase my house with cash when I'm able. I don't plan on using credit again even though I know I will never put myself in an upside down position again.

I don't want this to start a new debate, but I wanted to provide a little bit of input from someone who understands and RELATES to both sides. <hugs>
 
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#7 ·
Parkersmom - first, thanks for the kind words.

Since you have been through a bankruptcy - could you please talk a little about what you experienced while going through it?

What kinds of phone calls and letters did you get from creditors? What was the process like? How has the BK affected you since it started up through today?

Perhaps your voice of direct, personal experience will help BerryWriter understand why I am so emphatic about why I call BK the nuclear option and why I'm not opposed to it, simply opposed to using it as anything but the absolute last resort.
 
#9 ·
I'm going to be brutally honest with my experience even though some of my comments won't be popular.

Looking back, the process wasn't too horrible. I did have an attorney that at some times had my back but at other times didn't. I did jump the gun with my decision to file bankruptcy. But the decision was an emotional one for me due to the divorce and business failure. Creditors did start calling, and that really bothered me. But I was not filed any papers for lawsuits before filing bankruptcy. That said, I WAS filed with a lawsuit for the business loan about a year later, so it would have pushed me into bankruptcy anyway.

The process in Texas is pretty user friendly, for lack of better words. My attorney handled everything for me with the exception of filling out the initial paperwork. Gathering all the paperwork in order to file was very difficult. I had to attend a meeting of creditors which I thought would be intimidating. Not one of my creditors showed up. Due to this, out of roughly $200k in debt, I only have to pay back $30k (which sometimes makes be feel guilty since I signed for this debt). These payments are made via garnishments, which was a hard pill to swallow. Each check, I'm reminded about my bankruptcy as it is listed as such. So, the folks in our payroll deparement know my business.

Some of the negatives that I've encountered due the the bankruptcy is, as I mentioned before, the stress in whether or not a landlord would rent to us. Another is that there have been opportunities where I would have, in the past, been able to snap up a good deal for property. Due to the bankruptcy, I was not able to partake in this since I'm not allowed to purchase property without the approval of my trustee. Also, it kills me to know that I still have 24 months until my bankruptcy is discharged and my payments can stop. So where I should be enjoying my life, instead, I spend time wishing these months would fly by so I'll have this monkey off my back. I think that's sad since we only have one life, and I shouldn't be wanting time to hurry up.

Now for the positives of this experience. I have re-examined my life, and I am now working to become a Certified Financial Planner. I want to focus to help those people that are either looking at bankruptcy or are trying to recover from bankruptcy. I also am planning on writing a book on the subject. I'm getting this education debt free since my company reimburses my tuition. However, it will take me awhile since they only cover $5,250 per year which equates to 2 classes per year at the graduate level. I could pay and get it done quicker, but I would rather use that money towards getting my retirement account back on track.

The decision to file for bankruptcy is a very emotional one. It's not a hard decision either road you take. However, I completely understand her sense of relief. Have you ever felt as if you have to completely watch your back everywhere you go? That feeling completely goes away once you have made this decision.

So there it is, the good bad and ugly. I wish I had found a way to handle repaying these debts without using bankruptcy. If I knew then what I know now, I would have tried to do this. I would have probably been forced into bankruptcy anyway due to the business loan, but I would have tried my hardest not to.

So there is my very seemingly bipolar answer! Still glad you asked? :)
 
#8 ·
Wow! Very well said, and enough of this lurking...we need your input!

I think sometimes the honest answer that you find here can be hard to hear, but I agree that Greebo talks sense, and there really is no point in mincing words when it comes to decisions that can have such a big impact on the future.

That's part of the strength of FV...we can all support one another even when the situation is dire or the options are not favourable.
 
#17 ·
I'm still here...I've just been lurking.

IntlMom, please don't be mad at me. I can't respond to your PM because the stupid board won't let me. It tells me I don't have enough posts.

Thanks for this thread. You know, the bankruptcy is my husband's-all the debt is in his name only as he had the credit cards before we were married. I have one credit card, which is current and will soon be paid off and a student loan, which is in forbearance. He is doing what he feels is best. It was not easy for him. Being laid off, losing a child and then being unemployed for a year was a tremendous blow. He never missed a credit card payment, paid more than the monthly minimum and had excellent credit before everything fell apart. He spoke to a lawyer and a financial counselor and is not taking this lightly. His new job is great but he's only making $14 an hour where at his old job he was making $23 an hour. My business is doing well but money is still not plentiful and I don't know if we can afford to start a repayment plan with each of my husband's creditors (5 credit cards). Capital One keeps sending us letters saying they are preparing to file a lawsuit, and he's scared.

I appreciate the kindness and advice.
 
#23 ·
Berry your DH needs to understand that Capital One WANTS him to be scared. They will tell him all kinds of things if it gets a response. If he gets threatened with a lawsuit and then makes a payment, they'll note that in their databases and pull out the lawsuit card EVERY TIME until it doesn't work anymore.

This is part of the reason I was trying to explain to you that BK probably isn't the best option just yet.

Unless you actually have a notice of a lawsuit from the courts stating that a suit HAS been filed, or at least a formal letter from an ATTORNEY (not from Capital One) stating the intent to file suit, panic is not justified - it's just Capital One trying every dirty trick they can think of to get your DH to react in a manner that causes him to put paying them at a higher priority than feeding his family.

Right now, they're winning. They're getting him to react. That's what they want. From the updates you've made so far, he's going into panic mode, however, and since you guys have an income, his panic response is going to result in a Chap 13 (not a 7) which will put you on a payment plan you CAN'T deviate from and it'll do it for ALL your creditors - the ones you said you don't know how you can pay as it is - not just Citi. And if you DON'T follow the payment plan, well then you'll be looking at contempt of court. Citi doesn't care - they'll get paid so they're happy.

If it were a Chap 7 they might not be but it won't be with your incomes, I suspect.

As I said before, "I'd hate to see you make your life even more of a hell than it has been because of one moron creditor."
 
#26 ·
It's Capital One, not Citi.

We actually qualify for Chap. 7. We pass what's called the "Means Test". We're still going over all our options with the lawyer and financial counselor and I'm sure we will make the right decision for us.

My husband loves his new job and it's going really well!
 
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