Anyone in similar boat?
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 57
  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    12
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Anyone in similar boat?

    Hello, I'm new here and hope to get some advice. I feel guilty almost asking for advice b/c my situation isn't as bad as some on this board but we need help b/c the stress is affecting us and our son.

    Here's a summary of our situation:

    My husband works in sales and is paid commission with the economy things have slowed and he's losing business. I currently stay home with our son 1) It was important to us and 2) even though we are in hard times now it seems that I would be working just to pay the daycare bill.

    We have about $77,000 in credit card debt and owe IRS for cashing in part of our 401k and owe payment for 401K loan. Long story short, a couple years we wanted to build so we found some land and used some of the 401k to buy the land but by time we got ready to build and sell our home the market crapped out so in the end we sold house and land and made pretty much nothing. We bought less expensive home but started having trouble making payments on cc. I talked to credit counselors but the payments thru them would have been more than what we were paying so I called the cc companies myself and got payments and interest lowered. We are now having trouble making those payments and having money for gas, food, clothing and basics like that. My husband travels for work and uses a lot of gas. I'm looking for an at home job b/c it doesn't look like we'll be able to afford preschool for our son come September.

    We can't refinance b/c of the market and only owning house since last summer. It is causing a lot of stress and we snap at each other and argue sometimes over stupid things b/c of the tension.

    Don't want to think about bankruptcy b/c we did "borrow" the money and don't know if we would even qualify but wish there was a way to lower monthly payments more b/c they are still a lot to handle.

    we have two cars but only one payment. can't really sell one b/c my husband has a lot of miles and don't know how much longer it will last and he needs one since he travels the state everyday so at least he would have mine.

    In the end we realize that we've made some mistakes with our money as far as credit cards. in the several years we've been together we got married, had a child, did home improvements to previous house, spent money on work for land to build, sold both, bought another house, did some small improvements on that, have two dogs with allergies that cost a lot to get under control.

    We understand that we have to accept blame for our bad habits and lack of budgeting and want to "start over" in since and learn from our mistakes but it's hard when you don't have money to get some basics let alone pay any extra to the debt or use the snowball method.

    Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm sure we deserve some criticism but try to make it constructive at least. :0)

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Moderator mauimagic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Maui, Hawaii
    Posts
    19,114
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    57
    Rep Power
    113

    Default

    You came to the right place for ideas and support. You are also not alone - my DH is a sales rep (and substitute teacher) - and both are definitely on the decline.

    Stay in touch with FV and see what ideas will work for you. Good luck!!
    No spend days: J 9/16
    Monthly exercise: J 165/930
    Monthly savings: J-202, F-186,M-170,A-154, M-137, J-118, J-102, A-86, S-70, O-54, N-38, D-28

    “Decluttering isn't just simplifying your life. It's having a vision, setting new priorities and using those notions to get rid of obstacles.”
    — Peter Walsh
    __________________

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    12
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Thanks for the encouragement!

  4. #4
    Registered User mek42's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Central NY
    Age
    40
    Posts
    867
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    8

    Default

    I'm pretty sure that some of the folks whose stories you've read thinking to yourself that you're glad you're not that bad off will be among the very folks who in turn read yours and think to themselves they're glad they're not as bad off as you. Takes all kinds, and we're pretty accepting here, so please don't ever feel ashamed out of posting something here for fear of someone else judging you.

    I think most of us found this place after realizing they'd royally messed things up and wanted to start all over. Perception in the eye of the beholder and all that.

    Do you have a written periodic (usually monthly) budget that both of you agree on? This is the first step. If you just plain need more income, is there anything you could do from home or after your husband returns from work? It might suck to have to do something like this for a time, but the plan is for this to just be for a short time.

  5. #5
    Registered User forHISglory's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Right Here
    Age
    65
    Posts
    3,813
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    11
    Rep Power
    36

    Default

    MamaBear: Welcome! The important thing to remember here is that folks will give you the truth, no matter how hard it might be to hear it. Most will do it with grace, and some are a little more blunt. The bottom line is that Frugal Village is a place where people care about you and will give you advice to succeed.

    My first advice is to get rid of the dogs. It's possible that what you spend on them would be equal to grocery money, that is, if you are frugal with groceries. I know that pets are important, but in my opinion, it's more important to secure your family's financial status.

    Next, can you post a monthly breakdown of expenses? Include utilities, food, entertainment, clothing, gas, payments, etc. When we look at that, we can give you some very detailed advice.

    You are very deep in credit card doo doo, and I don't have the experience to give advice on this. The only thing I can recommend is that you don't use them anymore for anything.

    As far as you getting a job: I personally prefer that mommas stay home with the kids. I understand that is not always possible. Next, look at the kind of jobs you can do. Do you have a degree or skills or training for certain types of jobs? Is the pay for the job level you are at worth the extra costs that go with a job? (day care, gas, possible uniforms or clothing, dues and fees, etc.). Not knowing where you live, it's even possible that the good paying jobs are not in your area. That makes it expensive to go to work.

    I know others on this board will also offer you some solid advice. Keep reading and hang in there!
    Spiritual:
    "You are fearfully and wonderfully made." Please... respect life.

    Financial:
    Debt free, hoping to stay that way!


    MY BLOG: glorybug.wordpress.com


    1. Keep on writing.
    2. Get some balance in my life.
    3. Lose weight. Hopefully 20# this year.
    4. Continue to be looking for how God wants to use me this year.


  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    12
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Thanks.

    We do have a budget as far what he earns and what we have to pay out.

    I have degree for teaching pre-k but got out of field b/c there wasn't a lot of money in it and people out of high school made same as me with eduction and student loan bills but I now it would be better than nothing but haven't seen any schools hiring. I fell into retail after that b/c I didn't have any other skill. Not many people hiring, seems like a lot of stores closing. We are in CT. Also with retail a lot of companies aren't flexible enough to work with childcare schedule and if son get's sick they don't really put up with that. I am looking into options from home so hopefully it will pan out. Son won't go to sleep for DH so night job won't really work and what I made would probably go to pay daycare if I did get day job.

    dogs are not problem now it was in the being for 2yr period that we had spent a lot on vet visits, testing and special food but now we've got it controlled for most part and only have to go occasionally but even then we try to talk to them over the phone.

    Be back with budget.

  7. #7
    Registered User Cricketlegs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    3,995
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    27

    Default

    Hi! glad you found us.

    First thing off the bat, we will need more information. Do you have a written monthly budget? Are you comfortable with posting that budget.

    We are great at finding leaks and plugging holes here.

    Also, about the guilt. We have all been there. The shame and embarrassment..yep been there too.

    Working hard will dig you out and teach you how to not find yourself back in the same boat.

    Welcome, post, and learn!

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    12
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Budget (Sort Of)

    I guess this is more what we try to pay each month than a "budget".

    Net: $7934

    Expenses:

    $788 401k loan
    $172 IRS payment
    $144 student loans
    $150 life ins.
    $200 electric
    $500 oil (winter months so about 5 months/year)
    $122 tv (calling to get lowered)
    $100 phone (will try to get lowered)
    $200 cell phone (just got lowered $80 but DH uses cell everyday, all day for work).
    $300 car
    $2000 mortgage, tax, ins.
    $120 auto ins.
    $646 citi (three big cards have had interest rates lowered)
    $205 discover
    $390 chase
    $100 two other small cards.
    $600-800 gas for DH work
    $600 food for us, dogs and if we go to Chuck E Cheese or something (not often do we go out).

    The math on paper shows we should have about 1000.00 left over (not accounting oil in winter, then we would have around 500.00)

    That's not including clothes, hair cuts or an things like that. We usually just make sure son has clothes b/c he grows fast and only buy at target or walmart (checked and prices are the same as used store b/c I get stuff for $2-5 like granimals). I get hair cut couple times a year, dh goes every two weeks and son gets every two months as well as dogs get groomed every two months in summer b/c it's hot but winter I go longer. Could bath at home but wouldn't dare try to cut them myself.

    Be gentle. :0)

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    2,410
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    23

    Default

    Because of the cc debt you are in you need to get rid of anything that is not a necessity. Cable tv for instance. You have cell phones and landline and you have internet. Sorry not necessary. You need to free up some money to get cc paid down. My dh has a construction business that is slow so he got a job working nights at a grocery store. Not alot of money, but it pays some of the bills. He goes to work at 11 pm and gets out between 4am and 6am. Just some suggestions. You can always get cable & internet back after you get some of the debt paid off. If you want to get out of the debt you are in you have to be willing to give up something. Also you need to figure out the difference between wants and needs.

  10. #10
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    12
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    thanks. I can agree with phone since we do have the cells but need the internet. DH has to use it for uploading orders to work network and I'm looking to use it to make money at home.

  11. #11
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    2,410
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    23

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mamabear2007 View Post
    thanks. I can agree with phone since we do have the cells but need the internet. DH has to use it for uploading orders to work network and I'm looking to use it to make money at home.
    Can you either check out another service to see if you can get a break on cost. OR can you go to the library and use their internet for free?

  12. #12
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    12
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    can check on getting it lowered but cannot go to library. DH has to be able to do work from home and if I'm going to be trying to make money at home from online I need to have internet.

    did just get off phone with directv and found out we've been getting charged for 5 boxes when we are only using 3 and I was paying for a baby channel we don't watch any more so I canceled that.

    will be calling phone company about dsl and phone tomorrow. my son is acting up on purpose while on phone b/c he wants attention.

  13. #13
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    2,586
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Blog Entries
    10
    Rep Power
    23

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mamabear2007 View Post
    can check on getting it lowered but cannot go to library. DH has to be able to do work from home and if I'm going to be trying to make money at home from online I need to have internet.

    did just get off phone with directv and found out we've been getting charged for 5 boxes when we are only using 3 and I was paying for a baby channel we don't watch any more so I canceled that.

    will be calling phone company about dsl and phone tomorrow. my son is acting up on purpose while on phone b/c he wants attention.
    remember what they said about people being blunt - here goes

    "i can't pay my bills but i have three cable boxes." you can live without cable.

    get rid of the land line and the cable. keep the internet. you need it.

    don't get roped into another contract. good luck!
    baby step 2- see blog for actual amounts

    "stop being a victim, you are a perpetrator, taking things without paying for them is stealing, you are not a victim, you are a perpetrator. PAY THE PEOPLE YOU OWE, pray for the people you owe, and make it right. " hard nosed AA person, thumping his big book, addressed to me in AA meeting 7/30/2013

  14. #14
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    532
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    7

    Default

    You have a degree for teaching pre-k. Can you take DC in to your home or tutor?

  15. #15
    Registered User mek42's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Central NY
    Age
    40
    Posts
    867
    Post Thanks / WTG / Hug
    Rep Power
    8

    Default

    Drop land line phone and cancel cable TV but keep the broadband internet? Use the broadband internet to watch shows on Hulu for entertainment if needed.

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. DH depressed,anyone in a similar situation?
    By iida in forum Health and beauty
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 06-29-2008, 04:49 AM
  2. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-03-2008, 11:38 AM
  3. do you ebay? here's a similar site to sell stuff on
    By Missy in forum Supplemental Income, Small Business
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-22-2007, 09:43 PM
  4. Whats the catalog similar to ABC Distributing?
    By bamamomto4 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-07-2003, 03:19 PM
  5. The Love Boat
    By AmyBoz in forum Leisure & Media Arts
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-06-2002, 01:50 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •