trying to come to terms with the way things are - Page 2
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  1. #16
    Registered User lisaflex's Avatar
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    and, yes it is hard to grasp...but, grasping is the least of your worries...just try to keep the house you seem to love...and make it affordable..somehow, someway...where there is a will, there is a way...YK?

  2. #17
    Moderator mauimagic's Avatar
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    What an amazing bunch of smart people here - and the willingness to share what they have gone through and learned is totally outstanding.

    IMHO - what is happening to you now does not detract from your value as a person. We all make mistakes and get involved in things we wish we hadn't, but we owe it to ourselves to learn and move on.

    Sounds as if you and your husband are a good team and solid to pull through all of this. Would you feel less stress if you discussed this with your parents or would it be better to wait until you have all the facts and/or a plan in action.

    Whatever you do, please stay in touch. If nothing else, I think it really helps to write things down - and get support here.
    No spend days: J 9/16
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    “Decluttering isn't just simplifying your life. It's having a vision, setting new priorities and using those notions to get rid of obstacles.”
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  3. #18
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    I'm sorry and it doesn't seem really fair. Hugs to you and your family and you seem like a strong person. I hope everything works out the way it should.

  4. #19
    Registered User frugalfranny's Avatar
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    Sorry you are going through this ann........hang in there and hope things come out even better on the other end once you are through it.

    This is a lot of stress so be sure to take care of yourself during this time!

  5. #20
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    Ann ...keep in mind that the most important thing you can provide your children is a healthy, happy homelife... That doesn't have to contain a dream house. If this is too much stress on your life, get out from under it. It is way more valuable to have a stress free life... Everyone will adjust, especially when they see you more relaxed..it'll be ok...

  6. #21
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    Ann,

    I am so sorry that your family is going through this tough time. Keep your chin up this may lead to greater happiness.
    Steph


    FY 2014
    7/25 books read this year
    10/20 no spend days for April

  7. #22
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    I disagree with the "ignore Metlife and move one" advice. If Metlife backed out of a contract by stopping the loan mod without cause and it isn't in the contract that they can do that...(I don't know what is in those contracts), then your new lender needs to know that it was sold to them fraudelently (sp). They thought they were going to get X payment a month but your agreement was for X a month. These laws are so new it is a mess...
    Go West Young(ish) (Wo)Man,
    Let your troubles stay east.

  8. #23
    Registered User Michelle68's Avatar
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    Ann, I'm sorry you are going through this. Please keep us updated as to what is happening. Keeping y'all in my thoughts.
    ~ Michelle



    Wife to DH--
    Mom to DS--
    and DD--

    Avatar picture of cactus flower in bloom taken southeast side of San Antonio-May, 2013
    Mortgage -- $36,932.06

    ----------------------
    "The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got." --Will Rogers

  9. #24
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    Hope and pray that things work out the way you want them to and I also think you should make metlife answer to what you are going through and why!

  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugalfoster View Post
    Ann ...keep in mind that the most important thing you can provide your children is a healthy, happy homelife... That doesn't have to contain a dream house. If this is too much stress on your life, get out from under it. It is way more valuable to have a stress free life... Everyone will adjust, especially when they see you more relaxed..it'll be ok...
    I completely agree...your mental well being is worth a whole lot more than a house.
    Blessed and Highly Favored!!!!

  11. #26
    Registered User ncarr's Avatar
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    Hang in there! I'm so sorry you are going through all this. Just know that we are here for you and understand.

  12. #27
    Registered User lisaflex's Avatar
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    i didnt mean to completely ignore what happened w/ metlife..i meant to be able to move on to the next thing and deal w/ metlife but not let it take over and come first. there are other things that come before letting it take over your life. did not mean to offend.

  13. #28
    Registered User HappyMama's Avatar
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    Ann,

    I am so sorry you are going through this and just wanted to let you know I am praying for you ! I wanted to see if you had an update and how you were doing? Keep your chin up. Realize your children just need your love and a wonderful home life, that I know you will give no matter where you live. Dream homes come in all shapes, sizes and areas . Be like a turtle and bring your home, love, and happiness with you wherever you go!

    Blessings to you!
    *Angel*

    Dave R. Plan
    Step one - Done
    Step two-Done
    Step three-Done
    Step four-Done
    Step five- Working on
    Step six- almost done
    Living debt free except the mortgage and working on that !!!

    Be content with what you have;
    Rejoice in the way things are,
    When you realise there is nothing lacking,
    the whole world belongs to you.

    -Lao Tzu

    Have Courage
    “Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires…courage.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back..." Maya Angelou

    "Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life." (Confucius 551-478 BC)

  14. #29
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    I have been where you are. It was quite a few years ago but I understand when it gets to the point that the fight is just not worth it. I only have one suggestion. Do not move until you have to. We decided that we were not going to fight anymore and moved--because we thought we had to, in May one year. In December I got a call from the mortgage company telling me we needed to move. With things as bad as they were at that time we could have not had to pay rent for those months if we had just waited. Right, wrong, or indifferent, when you are in dire straights you do what you can to try to help any little bit. I will keep you in my thoughts.
    Jeanna


    Wife to Ken for 27 years
    DS 25
    DD 20




    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I'll try again tomorrow. --Mary Anne Radmacher

  15. #30
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    Hugs, I'm sorry you have to go through this.

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