trying to come to terms with the way things are

**lisaflex** · 07-27-2010, 09:42 PM

and, yes it is hard to grasp...but, grasping is the least of your worries...just try to keep the house you seem to love...and make it affordable..somehow, someway...where there is a will, there is a way...YK?

**mauimagic** · 07-27-2010, 10:44 PM

What an amazing bunch of smart people here - and the willingness to share what they have gone through and learned is totally outstanding.

IMHO - what is happening to you now does not detract from your value as a person. We all make mistakes and get involved in things we wish we hadn't, but we owe it to ourselves to learn and move on.

Sounds as if you and your husband are a good team and solid to pull through all of this. Would you feel less stress if you discussed this with your parents or would it be better to wait until you have all the facts and/or a plan in action.

Whatever you do, please stay in touch. If nothing else, I think it really helps to write things down - and get support here.

**Palooka** · 07-27-2010, 11:46 PM

I'm sorry and it doesn't seem really fair. Hugs to you and your family and you seem like a strong person.

I hope everything works out the way it should.

**frugalfranny** · 07-27-2010, 11:53 PM

Sorry you are going through this ann........hang in there and hope things come out even better on the other end once you are through it.

This is a lot of stress so be sure to take care of yourself during this time!

**frugalfoster** · 07-28-2010, 12:58 AM

Ann ...keep in mind that the most important thing you can provide your children is a healthy, happy homelife... That doesn't have to contain a dream house. If this is too much stress on your life, get out from under it. It is way more valuable to have a stress free life... Everyone will adjust, especially when they see you more relaxed..it'll be ok...

**Maine Girl** · 07-28-2010, 08:16 AM

Ann,

I am so sorry that your family is going through this tough time. Keep your chin up this may lead to greater happiness.

**kita** · 07-28-2010, 12:04 PM

I disagree with the "ignore Metlife and move one" advice. If Metlife backed out of a contract by stopping the loan mod without cause and it isn't in the contract that they can do that...(I don't know what is in those contracts), then your new lender needs to know that it was sold to them fraudelently (sp). They thought they were going to get X payment a month but your agreement was for X a month. These laws are so new it is a mess...

**Michelle68** · 07-28-2010, 09:31 PM

Ann, I'm sorry you are going through this. Please keep us updated as to what is happening. Keeping y'all in my thoughts.

**craftypam** · 07-28-2010, 10:28 PM

Hope and pray that things work out the way you want them to and I also think you should make metlife answer to what you are going through and why!

**larabelle** · 08-01-2010, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by frugalfoster

Ann ...keep in mind that the most important thing you can provide your children is a healthy, happy homelife... That doesn't have to contain a dream house. If this is too much stress on your life, get out from under it. It is way more valuable to have a stress free life... Everyone will adjust, especially when they see you more relaxed..it'll be ok...

I completely agree...your mental well being is worth a whole lot more than a house.

**ncarr** · 08-01-2010, 08:10 PM

Hang in there! I'm so sorry you are going through all this. Just know that we are here for you and understand.

**lisaflex** · 08-01-2010, 08:26 PM

i didnt mean to completely ignore what happened w/ metlife..i meant to be able to move on to the next thing and deal w/ metlife but not let it take over and come first. there are other things that come before letting it take over your life. did not mean to offend.

**HappyMama** · 09-19-2010, 08:10 PM

Ann,

I am so sorry you are going through this and just wanted to let you know I am praying for you ! I wanted to see if you had an update and how you were doing? Keep your chin up. Realize your children just need your love and a wonderful home life, that I know you will give no matter where you live. Dream homes come in all shapes, sizes and areas . Be like a turtle and bring your home, love, and happiness with you wherever you go!

Blessings to you!

**Jeanna** · 09-19-2010, 08:40 PM

I have been where you are. It was quite a few years ago but I understand when it gets to the point that the fight is just not worth it. I only have one suggestion. Do not move until you have to. We decided that we were not going to fight anymore and moved--because we thought we had to, in May one year. In December I got a call from the mortgage company telling me we needed to move. With things as bad as they were at that time we could have not had to pay rent for those months if we had just waited. Right, wrong, or indifferent, when you are in dire straights you do what you can to try to help any little bit. I will keep you in my thoughts.