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financial crisis due to my health issues

4K views 22 replies 21 participants last post by  Mika 
#1 ·
Hi, I appreciate the opportunity to post. I am feeling crushed under the pressure of financial strain due to health issues which have left me unable to work for the past 8 months. I am desperately in need of some support, guidance and understanding right now. I feel very alone and overwhelmed. At this point, I don't see a way out - I feel like there's no hope of things getting any better, and that type of thinking scares me and is not at all "me". I've been very ill for the past 8 months with complications from lupus and gastroparesis. I've spent several weeks in the hospital and between the medical bills, my loss of income, etc we are completely broke. We've gone through all of our savings, cashed out our ROTH IRAs, cut out non-essentials and are trying to live on my husband's income alone (he's a teacher). Currently our monthly expenses exceed our income, so I can't pay all of our bills this month. We have a mortgage payment, a car payment, utilities, etc. I also maxed out 2 credit cards in desperation (hospital copays and son's braces down payment). Our current credit card debt is about $6000. I am in a constant state of panic and my health is definately being affected by the stress. I can't eat, can't sleep and am starting to feel like I'm going crazy. I need help and I don't know where to get it. I'm married, however my husband leaves the bill paying to me. We have one child (a teenager). I need to know that my situation is not hopeless. Can anybody tell me where to turn? I can't go on like this. I fear that the stress is wearing me down and I fear not being around to see my son grow up. Thank you to anyone who reads this and takes the time to respond. I truly appreciate it.
 
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#2 ·
Mika, I posted this with your other posting as well. I am almost to the same point you are. It seems that when I think that we are beginning to make some headway, something happens and we knocke back down. I was sitting down last night writing everything that is still owed this month and and looking at what we have and there is no way that it will all get paid. I am getting all my stuff togther and then I believe I will take it to Greebo, and see if he can help. I hear that he is one of the MEN that can help with finances here on this site.


I also believie in the power of prayer. I know that the LORD will take care of us and help provide for us. There is no doubt in my mind about this. I have finally turned everything over to HIM, which was the hardest thing to do, and let hime handle my life. If I didn' do that, all the worrying I was doing was going to be the death of me. I will be praying for you. Once you hit rock bottom, or so what you feel is rock bottom, the only other way it up.

You are definatley not alone. I ahve only been on here for about a month and from what I have read, this is a really huge family and they seem to care for one another. There are other that are struggling with you. Keep your head high. hang in there. I'll gladly be here for you, if you would like we could do this together with the help of the others.:)
 
#11 ·
You are definatley not alone. I ahve only been on here for about a month and from what I have read, this is a really huge family and they seem to care for one another.
I just wanted to second this quote... I call them all my "frugal family". :D Have for a few years now...

Take a deep breath and start posting your financial info. Greebo is THE BEST at sorting it all out!

And we'll all be cheering you on! Don't worry...one step at a time...you'll get through this! :hugz:
 
#3 ·
Our current credit card debt is about $6000. I am in a constant state of panic and my health is definately being affected by the stress. I can't eat, can't sleep and am starting to feel like I'm going crazy. I need help and I don't know where to get it. I'm married, however my husband leaves the bill paying to me. We have one child (a teenager). I need to know that my situation is not hopeless. Can anybody tell me where to turn?
Your situation is not hopeless, but you are going to have to make changes.

First of all, DH is going to have to start being involved in the money - he doesn't have to do the nerdy paperwork but he has to help make decisions about what to do with what you have.

Second - you're going to have to get rid of things you can't afford. Sounds like Car and House to me - yes, that might mean moving.

Lets get a financial picture - can you please list your assets and liabilities, and also your income and expenses?
 
#4 ·
wow i like reading other peoples post

and finding out answers that i already knew but when someone else says it, well it tends to sink in a little more....Thanks greebo for the help and you didn't even know it...
 
#5 ·
i am paying off about 40,000 total in debt ( not counting cars or mortgage ) that was aquired when i was unable to work - we had A+ credit when i was not well and i think its still about a b+ because we never were late for anything but we used the CC to pay for things we needed to do for cars etc and some times food for our family of 7 .

i have fibromyalgia and i am back at work PT a this time but i do know trhat could go the other way at anytime so i stress over paying off what we owe asap - but as with anything autoimmnue stress makes it worse . so relieving your stress can go far in helping your health ..

just wanted to offer you some hugs +
 
#6 ·
I have nothing to really add except that I will keep you and your family in our prayers and hope that everything will come through in the end. This may be an obvious question, but is the teenager picking up a part time job as well? In times like these, everyone in the family needs to help where they can...
 
#7 ·
I also have nothing to add...I will send up a prayer for you!!!
I think that big changes are ahead for your future!!!
 
#8 ·
Keeping the faith is very hard. Have you spoken to your doctor's to see if they can do anything for you? Mine came through when I needed it most, and yours may also. I'd be looking for help anywhere I might find it. I have to say I agree that paying for a house and a car with one income when you are accustomed to 2 might not be possible. Post and we'll try to help you brainstorm.
 
#9 ·
Depends on the house and car. We've only ever had one income and we are currently living in a nice two storey home in a nice neighbourhood. Having said that, we've made a lot of sacrifices to make it work. DH is a librarian who is paid about the same as a teacher.

I think you can still look at the option of buying down in housing though...depending on your current living situation. You don't have to be mortgaged to the hilt!

You can also look at selling your car for a cheaper model...assuming you aren't upside down in your loan.

I think first though, it's very important you and your DH are on the same page financially. You need the support and the help with decisions, even if you do everything else yourself. If you decide with your DH, it might be time for a family council meeting with your teen to explain the situation. The teen might be willing to take a part time job to help...

I also think it's important to check out your illnesses on-line and discuss any findings with your doctor. Sometimes there are small lifestyle changes you can make to improve your situation a lot. Also, medicine is a rapidly developing field at the moment. Study results often hit the Net before they hit your doctor's office and his attention. It's not a sign of neglect on his/her part...just a sign they can't keep up with the deluge of information and all their patients too! Also check out alternative therapies. Some are bunk, but some are very simple and cheap to try...and just might help.

I guess that's it from me. In order to help more I need more facts. Hope you're feeling better today. {{{Hugs}}}

Jean
 
#12 ·
You should be able to apply for a mortgage modification, as loss of income due to illness is one of the qualifiying events. You will not be expected to make a mortgage payment until a decision has been made. Have you looked into energy assistance and angel food ministries to lower your food bills? Talk to a social worker at the hospital you were admitted to. The social worker should be able to tell you about any assistance programs you are eligible for.
 
#14 ·
Are you still here?
 
#15 ·
Best wishes! This situation is one I have thought about the possibility of happening. Prayers to you!

I'm about to have a second surgery in 10 months, and have been recommended to hold off on a 3rd I will eventually need (shoulder replacement). I've been lucky on the insurance front, but there are so many of us that could easily, in the blink of an eye, find ourselves in the same situation.
 
#16 ·
Check and see if the hospital has a charity program.It's where they take a percentage off your bill or knock it all together. If you applied for SSDI i know several people that have Lupus and get it. When you get it you will also get a state medical card. I would try and push this through
 
#17 ·
I have lupus too so I totally understand. Are you just on plaquenil and pednisone or have they tried a more aggressive treatment? Cellcept, Imuran, and Methotrexate are all used to treat lupus now.

Also, if you are unable to work you should apply for SSDI.

Could you do some sort of part time on the side work to help like tutoring? I find it more manageable and the pay is good.
 
#18 ·
I am sorry you are going thru this. I don't think anyone can imagine how they will handle this until it happens to them. It is a scary place to be in , and it feels like it just snatches away your power.

I can totally empathize with you and identify, as I was just told last month I have fibrillary gn, and have a couple years to go till I have to consider dialysis. The saddest part is the first thing that goes thru my mind is can I put my family thru that ? My husband isn't in the greatest of health either. We both work, although just like you I've been sick so much lately I've about had to give it up ( self employed).

It's a shame money has such a hold on everyone's life that when you get slammed with news that your in a dire place, the thing you have to worry about most is how am I going to afford medical care if something happens and we can't work..

It's a time when you just want to curl up and rest and not worry about money. But........ I keep reminding myself to worry about things I can control and try to let go of things I can't.

Easier said than done, I know ! I am like you, I handle all the bill paying too. There is no way my husband would do it. I know, we split up about 8 years ago for around a year and he had our son do the bill paying until my son started college that year, then he actually paid me to do it. If I had not of took him up on the offer, he was going to pay his Mom or sister to do it! :)

So having to look at the numbers is definately stressful and I am a big baby sometimes and wish my husband would do it, but I am grateful he works. We really needed my income though to finish wiping out bills and pay for the extras that come up.... like med co pays, dental and eye glasses, etc ironically. Even with insurance, those things are astronomical. If I had not had insurance, even though they refuse to pay anything, I wouldn't have gotten in the door to find out what was going wrong with me and why I felt so bad though. Sad.. very sad and the reason I was hoping for Universal health care even before this happened to me. ( Please I don't feel like debating that topic with anyone ! lol.. it's just my personal opinion our nations people would be better protected against financial loss/catostrophe if we had been able to have that like other developed countries)


Whew.. I could go on and on. But please know you are not alone .. there really are others going thru this too. We have to play the cards we get, as the saying goes huh?

I wish you all the best, and hope things work out for you. I know it's hard, but what I do when I feel really depressed about it or panicky is to take a few deep breaths and start to mentally pick out all the good things about my life.

Example.. I have my kids .. so many don't. I have a husband who is a good man.. so many don't. I have a good family and a roof over my head and food.. Just things like that.. I honestly think I can handle being ill myself better than I can handle it happening to someone I dearly love. So I'm grateful for each day I get up and those I hold dear are still okay.

I actually thought about starting a thread on here asking people what they would do in my shoes but then I realized no one could know unless it was happening. It's truly a day by day experience.

May you find as much peace as possible and strength to get thru whatever comes your way .. HUGS
 
#19 ·
I actually thought about starting a thread on here asking people what they would do in my shoes but then I realized no one could know unless it was happening. It's truly a day by day experience.
Nope, no one knows until they have lived inside your skin. But as for starting your own thread...sometimes it helps to "talk" out loud. Some one may toss out an idea you haven't thought of..or..sometimes you just need a hug. One coming your way now...
 
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#20 ·
I'm sorry about your situation. I suffered a similiar situation for the last 7 years, I am now on SSDI but have very little in savings anymore as I ran through all of it.

1. Apply for SSDI, food stamps, medicaid or state funded health insurance for your teen, energy assistance, reduced/free school lunches and fees.

2. NEVER pay a medical bill in full. Call the hospital and ask to talk to the social worker. Some of the hospitals have grants to help someone in crisis pay for their care. Pay $10 a month on a bill so you can keep using that medical provider if you must.

3. Talk to an attorney about bankruptcy. Your retirement accounts are exempt from seizure. NEVER CASH IN RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS TO PAY THE BILLS. Always wait until your health situation improves before you file for bankruptcy. If you are making less than $30k, a bankruptcy goes right through. Don't get a job until you get that settled.

4. Ask for a 'Lifeline' discount on your landline phone. It will run $10-20 a month for service.

5. See if you can get your teen's braces deposit back. Sometimes, you cannot do everything a kid desires. He can find a way to pay for these later with his own job if he desires having his teen fixed.

6. Ditch cable except for the network package which runs $10-20.

7. Cell phones are more expensive than a discounted land line.

8. Netzero internet is $10 a month for unlimited dialup.

9. Try getting by on 1 car if you are not working. The teen can get a job within walking or biking distance eventually and take the bus to school.

10. Insist on thrift store clothes for the teen. Also buy the entire year of school supplies now while they are cheap.

11. Read "Tightwad Gazette" while you are at home. The book has some wonderful ways to save money.
 
#21 ·
thank you all so much!

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to my post! I am extremely grateful and appreciative to you all! I am sorry it's taken me awhile to log back on here, but I've had some rough days with my health lately. I am getting my information together to post on here (income and monthly expenses). I apologize if I don't reply to other peoples posts on here for a bit. I assure you that I will, once I'm feeling a bit better. I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of support. Thank you all so much.
 
#23 ·
Moved to tears...

I really was moved to tears by all of your posts of encouragement, suggestions, etc. I have felt so alone in all of this for so long - it helps so much to have others who understand what I'm going through. I have quite a bit to accomplish over the next few days and am trying to break it down into small, manageable tasks. Otherwise, I get overwhelmed, stressed out and sick. I had a very difficult situation occur today with a close family that has left me very sad and hurt. I'm am putting it behind me and focusing on the tasks at hand. I appreciate the support along the way.
 
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