What to expect?

[mslolsalot]

I'm happy to see that you're making some progress and feeling a little less burdened.

My question was going to be whether you could get a loan/loc to pay the CCs, but you've already made a plan for that. I hope things come together for you soon.

[Palooka]

Glad you are getting things worked out.

[MomToTwoBoys]

We've gotten to the point that we cannot make it anymore. When I first joined in 2006 we were making small strides paying down our debt and building some savings. DH's last pay increase was in 2006, in 2007 they cut pay raises, in 2008 they cut hours, in 2009 & 2010 they increased employee contributions towards healthcare. Through all of it I've been grateful that he has been able to keep his job and we have made adjustments and cut back. But, we have also been hurt by several other things such as the credit card companies more than doubling our interest rates in July 2009 (the month before the new credit card rules went into affect) and then DH's work switching to a weekly pay from bi-monthly totally messed up our budget.

We've gotten to the point that we have burned through our savings and I just.can't.juggle it anymore. I'm stressed out, suffering from chronic headaches and am depressed. I've come to the decision that I am going to have to temporarily stop paying on one of the credit cards just to keep us going. In four months the van will be paid off and we can reduce the car insurance, which means I should be able to resume credit card payments in March. We have not used the credit cards since the spring and they have been locked away. But, I'm having a hard time with it morally and with the in-grained belief that I have to keep our FICO score high (over 800 before all of this started). I HATE, HATE this option but I don't know what else to do.

We don't have anything to sell, our furniture is all hand-me-downs, our electronics are old (in today's terms), the only jewelry I own are my engagement/wedding rings and a pair of small diamond earrings dh gave me for my 30th birthday. I've looked at employment opportunities for me and there is nothing that works right now, though I keep looking. DH is finishing up his 'summer' extra work that has allowed us to keep afloat so far this year. Unfortunately, it isn't something that can be continued in the winter. He is looking at other options also.

A quick run down of our finances for those money crunchers and in case anyone has any suggestions.

Take-home Income ~$710/week or $2840/month

House Payment (w/escrow) $900
Home Equity Line $100
Car Payment $300 (paid off in February or earlier if I get Christmas money)
Car Insurance $100
Utilities (elec, water, sewer, trash) ~$220
Nat. Gas $72
Internet $41
Home Phone $27
Cell Phone (2 phones) $30
Netflix $9

Total Bills: $1779

Credit Cards:
Discover Card $270
Visa $380

Total Credit Card: $650

Combined: $2429
Difference: $411

I've got our grocery bill down to $450/month, including HBA & dog food (using DH's summer pay to buy groceries). We also need $260 per month for gas, as DH drives 70 miles/day to & from work and I need gas to cart the kids around.

What do I need to do? And, if I stop paying on my credit card (just the Visa) what can I expect to happen?

Please be gentle as I am in a fragile place and very depressed already about what we have done in the past to put us in this situation.

TIA

First, let me say that I hope things do get better for you all soon! Situations like this are rough on anyone.

Now, to take a look at your budget and what you have:

1) I agree with others in that you should cut the home phone, the Netflix and any other extra thing you have.

2) You say that you need to cart the kids around. Without having looked at other responses beyond the first page, where do you take the kids to? Are these places that they can either get rides from friends? I think that would save you a lot of money right there if you could find other ways to get them from point A to point B.

3) Is there any way whatsoever that you can get any part-time job? I know that in NC, their Department of Social Services offers subsidized daycare for families. I was stationed in NC with the Marine Corps and had a great subsidy for my son to be in daycare.

4) With your utilities, I would try to cut back as much as you can. Do you scratch cook at all? Own a rice cooker, a crockpot or anything else that uses less utilities to operate?

5) I'd re-work your menu and look at what your grocery budget is spent on. I spend $500 every month on a family of four and that's with buying lunch for both of the boys. Can you get any health and beauty products or other items from your local church?

My mom always told me when I was younger that the bills can wait as long as you have a roof over your head and food in your children's bellies with clothes on their backs. I'd focus on the dire essentials first; Cut what you absolutely do not need. If you think you need it, but you know you can live without it, get rid of it.

[Momto5RN]

with the holiday season coming soon many stores are hiring PT help for evenings and weekends.

what kinds of employment have you tried to get .

i see you homeschool and all yours are under the age you can have one babysit if dh is working late socan understand how hard that can get .

do you belong to a church or homeschooling organization where you can offer temporary babysitting services IE not doing it as a full time thing needing a license etc but rather a few hours drop off while mom gets hair done or does some christmas shopping etc .

how about offering to make some cookies - i have a friend who makes extra money this time of year making treats to sell thru friends and her dh work - again not really starting a business so she didnt need an inspection etc just made up a large batch of treats like choc covered popcorn / retzels etc to sell to friends- co-workers.

that may help get you through until the car is paid off and some money is freed up.

[Momto5RN]

and if worse comes to worse and you have to not pay one CC for a few months remember the long term goal of no debt and possibly paying in cash for everything - your fico score doesnt matter so much anymore.

have you always been on time for your mortgage ?? sometimes if you are in good standing you can call and they will let you skip a payment add it onto the end of the year and maybe that can go to paying something off.

[Missourimom]

And, unfortunately, yes those are the minimums on the credit cards. For years we had low interest rates on our credit cards <10%. In July of 2009 they both moved the due date on the payment up by 2 days from the days they had been due for 5 years. I was out of town that month and had my bills set up to be paid electronically so I missed the due dates. The next month our credit card rates jumped to 27% and 29%...both companies refused to work with us and other credit cards wanted fees to move the balances. .

This happened to us about 4 years ago with a card. It was awful. We were ONE.....ONE.....day late and our rate jumped to 30% and then another card raised their interest to 30% because of that other ONE day late payment. It was a nightmare and I thank God they're paid off now and we closed the accounts. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

[Libby]

About the home phone thing - are you able to cut it out and use the internet for your phone? VOIP or a Magicjak? Not sure how that works for your area.

BTW: you're doing great by starting to look for alternatives and working though whittling down to bare essentials.

You WILL make it through.

[ddmartin]

Good luck - thankfully your Mom was able to help.

I do have a question - what is a 'cha cha' account?

[kita]

So now with no van payment and the change in the cc payment your budget balances barely.
I would use the insurance savings to make payments to Mom. Any money given to you for Christmas can pay mom.
Christmas gifts are paid for out of Cha-cha money or other part-time work.
Still rough until mom is paid off and Christmas is over. But do-able.

[warramra]

I guess I didn't make it clear, but the money from my mom is a gift. She doesn't loan my sister and I money, she just helps when she can. She has always told us that if it had not been for our grandparents (both sides) they never would have been able to buy their first house, my dad open his own business or for her to even have a car during her single-parent years, therefore she and my dad want to help us when we need it. I just hoped that I would be past the point of needing their help and would be paying back in kind by this time. KWIM? If we ever get to the point of financial comfort I already know that I want to take my mom on her dream trip through the British Isles.

As far as cutting back/frugal living in the household...I'm with all of you there. Been working on it for 6 years now. I cook from scratch, burned through three crockpots over the years, know which days which stores mark-down meats, breads and produce and shop accordingly. I hang clothes to dry, weather permitting. We have had a garden (although this year health and time didn't allow me to do much with it) and I also glean where I can. Use CFL bulbs, but mainly don't use lights at all possible during the day. Electronics are on power strips, which are mainly turned off. Thanks to several friends with children just a bit older than ours, we rarely have to shop for clothes for the children. Only DH gets his hair cut outside the home, approximately every six weeks at $12.

I don't "cart" my kids around nearly as much as I did pre-2008, but we still have to leave the house once in awhile. DS is in a 3-day-week preschool to help with his delayed language skills. It is only a few miles away from the house, but I try to combine pick-up/drop-off with other errands I need to do. Dd8 just finished her softball season so I don't have that one-day-week practice (and before I hear how they shouldn't be in sports, DH and I firmly belief in some athletic extracurricular and two, DH's sister coaches dd's team so we don't actually have to pay the town fee to play). Dd 8 still has Brownies two nights a month through the school year. Dd11 is a competitive soccer player, one of the best in her age group in a 3-county area. When we told her club that she would not be able to play this year at the Classic level they turned around and offered us a full financial aid package - everything. She practices 3-4 nights per week and it does involve some driving. I already trade-off with other parents 2 nights a week, but we have to meet at a central location. All-in-all I use between $15-$20 worth of gas/week, about what I used when I worked full-time many moons ago. Most of the gas money goes to DH's commute and the gas he uses when he gets weekend jobs - which can be a haul.

I've tried to work retail in the past, but I have PTSD and have panic attacks when I am in crowds. A few years ago I worked the holiday season at a local Target. I lasted until the beginning of December before it got too bad. I also will not take on the responsibility for looking after other's young children. I have made money in the past doing data entry, data parsing, research and writing from home...that is where my skills are. Lately I've also picked up a few mending/sewing jobs from neighbors - though that is more barter than income and my skills are pretty basic.

DH will get his last checks this month from his summer job. I didn't use them in figuring my budget, because half of them are going to be used for Christmas $ and half is being put away into cash savings. From here on out until April we will be making it on his income and what I can bring in. Not having the car payment is HUGE. Yes, it will still be tight, but at least I feel it is doable. ChaCha money will primarily be used for grocery money, but because of the way I can earn money, I can earn more if I know an expense is coming up.

Last night I re-worked the 'quick' numbers I posted earlier in the thread, and I came up with approx. $800 left for gas/groceries/other expenses (I don't have my notebook handy for detailed numbers). That doesn't include new insurance rates and no ChaCha income has been added. DH also has a bunch of paid vacation days to burn before the end of the year, so he will mainly be working 4-day weeks, and taking a whole week off in December. That should help with gasoline costs through the end of the year.

Anyway, I'm starting to have some hope. Thanks again.

[AnW819]

I don't know what it is, but after weeks of wringing my hands and trying to figure things out...and nothing. I finally broke down and posted on here (yeah, I really didn't want to do it), and it has motivated me. I want to thank everybody for their time in reading and replying to me.

So, this afternoon I responded to an ad on craigslist. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't. But, it was the first ad in weeks that even looked like a fit.

I also went to BOA's website and checked some options available on the credit card. There is an option for a reduced payment period. If I can get that I can continue paying an amount we can afford and not be charged any late fees, although interest would continue accruing. The other option is to convert the credit card to an unsecured loan, but that may not reduce payments. I am going to call tomorrow and see what they say.

I went to the Discover Card site and they have similar options, but I think if we can do something with the Visa, then I can leave the Discover as is. I did move our due date to later in the month so it doesn't fall the same week as the house payment.

I also reactivated my ChaCha account. I don't enjoy doing it, but it is a relatively easy way to make $20-$30/week towards groceries. Of course it has been so long I'm going to have to call to get a new pin number for the debit card.

It feels good to have a list to do for tomorrow.

Hugs! You are really making progress. Things will get better for you, I am sure!!

And about ChaCha...I am a guide there to but stopped doing it over a year ago because I was making around $1 an hour. Is it any better now?? I sure could use an extra $20 a week...not not if its going to take me 20 hours ya know?

[kita]

Is there a button for "Way to Go" mom? Families can be a great resource but I am happy that you waited until the bitter end to accept a gift. And I am sure that Mom is happy knowing that you aren't taking her for granted.
And yes, it is back to "tight but doable again". At least it is doable.

[digidog]

You could cut your phone bill by going to a internet phone like Voipo (I can't send a url, not enough posts... just search google for voipo) around 8.95 a month. It has the added benefit of being able to block individual numbers sending them to voicemail or sending them a disconnected tone. Really helps with the robo-collection calls....

[many houseapes]

This has probably been suggested...but can you cut Netflix? If you really want to rent a movie, redbox is only $1 a rental. try to cut back further on the groceries if you can. Maybe you can talk to your mortgage company...if you are paying a Mortgage Premium Insurance & have kept up your payments on time...maybe they will stop charging you the extra if you have proven yourself as a low risk borrower??

[dianne9106]

I am just browsing a little today - but I wanted to say JOB WELL DONE! First of all Home School is not for the weak at heart and good on you for putting your children's educations first! Personally, I do not begrudge you for having netflix or internet - even Dave Ramsey says to budget for some sort of entertainment, plus you need it for education and curriculum. I also don't think you are doing any extravagant in terms of activities for your children - they need activities for themselves - it's for their personal growth and enrichment and it's not like you are paying for private scuba lessons or David Beckam soccer lessons!
So - I hope your holidays were bright and I am so glad that your mother was in a position to give you such a generous gift! Without my mother I probably would been living in a shelter or worse more than once when I was single parent.
If you have the time and resources, check into work with Convergys or another work at home group. With internet and a home phone - you really could make a great deal of money. I have a friend that works for Convergys from home and does well.
Good luck and well done so far!