Just a bit of a vent here.
I hate borrowing money from my mother.
I had to finally break down and call and ask her for money for part of my rent today. I'm so close to having a balanced budget but due to an issue with the late arrival of a rebate, I found myself $600 short on rent.
It was awful.
My mom is not a warm fuzzy person, first of all. Since Dad passed away she has been pretty tough to deal with.
When I called, I asked if she could please just say yes or no, not berate me. Fast forward to an hour and a half later, me in tears. I know that at 41 I'm too old to be begging for money. The need to ask for help in and of itself was humiliating.
She called me:
~ a loser
~ a fool with money
~ a bad mom
~ irresponsible
~ a terrible daughter
She reminded me of:
~ my failed "idiotic bead business"
~ that "shack" I bought
~ my car that I voluntarily gave back to Chrysler
~ my kids being "near starvation" (not sure when that supposedly happened)
~ quitting my job
~ being unable to work because of depression and anxiety issues that I apparently "made up" because I'm lazy
~ turning my back on my family and country because I live in Canada instead of the US
She told me I was a horrible disappointment to both her and my dad, my dad had been ashamed of me but didn't want to tell me, and that I threw all my "opportunities" in her face.
I suppose the pain and humiliation of this phone call is my interest on the loan. I feel so ill right now. If I was not on the verge of eviction, I would never have asked, but I can't let my kids be homeless
I hate borrowing money from my mother.
I had to finally break down and call and ask her for money for part of my rent today. I'm so close to having a balanced budget but due to an issue with the late arrival of a rebate, I found myself $600 short on rent.
It was awful.
My mom is not a warm fuzzy person, first of all. Since Dad passed away she has been pretty tough to deal with.
When I called, I asked if she could please just say yes or no, not berate me. Fast forward to an hour and a half later, me in tears. I know that at 41 I'm too old to be begging for money. The need to ask for help in and of itself was humiliating.
She called me:
~ a loser
~ a fool with money
~ a bad mom
~ irresponsible
~ a terrible daughter
She reminded me of:
~ my failed "idiotic bead business"
~ that "shack" I bought
~ my car that I voluntarily gave back to Chrysler
~ my kids being "near starvation" (not sure when that supposedly happened)
~ quitting my job
~ being unable to work because of depression and anxiety issues that I apparently "made up" because I'm lazy
~ turning my back on my family and country because I live in Canada instead of the US
She told me I was a horrible disappointment to both her and my dad, my dad had been ashamed of me but didn't want to tell me, and that I threw all my "opportunities" in her face.
I suppose the pain and humiliation of this phone call is my interest on the loan. I feel so ill right now. If I was not on the verge of eviction, I would never have asked, but I can't let my kids be homeless