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Sunshine's story - for seekingforanswers

2K views 10 replies 11 participants last post by  Imarachne 
#1 ·
I can't find my previous posting on this and it needed updating anyway.

We were doing fine financially. We drove cars that were paid in full, no credit card debt, living in a trailer on my parent's property (paying no rent). Then I got pregnant. We had no maternity insurance, but we could pay the doctor and hospital bills out of pocket (so we thought). . . . I ruptured my appendix when I was 5 month pregnant, but didn't realize it. I worked the next 3 days. By then I was seriously ill. I had peritonitis with gangrene. No working for a LONG time, baby came 7 weeks early ( at least he didn't come when I had surgery for the gangrene) Dh got hurt at work at the same time, so neither of us had an income and we had a preemie baby we just brought home. Once the diapers from the hospital were gone. . . we had nothing for him to wear (diapers or otherwise) I put dishtowels on for diapers, and used bread wrappers for plastic pants. I took a sheet and made a few diaper shirts so he didn't have to run around with only a "diaper" on. We picked up aluminum cans to recycle for gas money, and I gratefully accepted any and all foods offered (he was a summer baby)- I took dropped fruits, cut around the bad parts and canned them, foraged for things. . . . Thankfully, we had a couple of baby showers right away, and I asked for (and received) loads of cloth diapers, clothes, etc.

So. . . we drained our savings accounts and paid off the medical bills. We bought a house (CFD, no money down! egads!) when the baby was 5 months old. . . .and did ok. Again, drving only paid off cars, no credit card debt, tiny mortgage. Along came baby #3. (no money issues with baby #2 thankfully). Again, health insurance, but not maternity insurance. I had a uterine tumor right where the placenta implanted, so lots of concerns for the baby's (and my ) health. Then I fell when I was 6 1/2 months along. Preterm labor, leaking amniotic fluid. . . . I spent a week in antepartem at $120/hr. then 2 months on limited bedrest. Again, no income for me. Final tally of the bill for dd------------- $138,000 . . . . none of it covered by insurance.

So we regrouped, figured out a payment plan and continued on our merry way. . . for less than 2 years. . . then dh was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease- a terminal neuromuscular disease). He had to go 6 months with no income before we started to get disablilty for him. We threw frugality out the window. We traveled, bought our house on a farm, did the things we'd always planned on doing SOMEDAY. We thought we'd pay off the bill with his live insurance after he died . His original prognosis was less than 2 years to live. He tried to continue to work part time, but ended up losing his disablilty payments because he made $24 too much for 3 months.

There came a time when I sat down to pay the bills and realized that I had less than $11 to cover food and gas for 2 weeks. We had to borrow money to feed the kids and for me to get back and forth to work. That became a vicious cycle of trying to repay what we'd borrowed, then not having enough to cover the upcoming weeks again. I got serious with frugality. We sold off stuff, we figured out a budget that people claim is so anal retentive it would make the IRS's head spin. . . . and we started digging out of debt.

So here we are, 19 years later. . . dh is still alive and doing remarkably well. No income from him, but thankfully I have a profession that is stable at the moment (I'm an RN). We are still in debt, still have credit card debt that is HUGE (travel, etc. from when dh first got sick) and so on. . . but we pay the bills, I know where all the money goes, and where the next meal is coming from.

We probably could have been out of debt by now, but we decided to incorporate a few wants into our budget, along the way - with his illness, we've learned the uncertainty of life and the value of a few roses just for the pleasure, in the midst of the garden of life. We've also helped out both sets of parents (his parents lived in our first house, rent free. His mom still lives there), we paid many bills, groceries, etc. for my parents while they were living.
 
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#2 ·
I'm not seekingforanswers, but thank you so much for sharing your story. It's amazing how quickly life can turn on it's ear, isn't it?

I read somewhere that the average North American is only two paycheques away from homelessness and I know that there but for the grace of God go I.
 
#3 ·
Thanks for sharing.
 
#5 ·
Thanks for sharing Sunshine. Blessings, hugs and prosperity to you!
 
#8 ·
i read this post and all i can say...

is.....i am so glad your dh is still with you...other than that nothing else matters...
 
#9 ·
Thank you for sharing that story. Once again, all I can say is - WOW !!!!!

And you're still smiling!! What an amazing inspiration. We both generally have good health and no other concerns like that, other than my dh's diabetes, but that is covered by his insurance.

Thank you again for sharing and for your helpful (VERY EXPERIENCED) in-put to help us figure out way out of our own plight.

Blessings to you, dear friend.
 
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