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and it's beginning to hit the fan

4K views 28 replies 19 participants last post by  macemesmum 
#1 ·
my gas was turned off this morning... ever since the divorce, I've been unable to get caught up. I've been consistently overdrawn and by the time I get my next check, 1/3 of it goes to cover overdrafts.... when I was married, all our bills were set to automatically come out of our accounts... mine mostly and then he'd transfer whatever was needed to cover the bills.

just venting... I've got a pantry full of food, meat in the freezer, a half tank of gas and get paid again Thursday (but am over 400 overdrawn, have a $425 car payment, $197 insurance payment, $130 on lights and need to pay some on that darned gas bill.) I am better off than others, just whining....

thanks.
 
#4 ·
I agree! Hugs to you!
 
#3 ·
Yes, stop the payments, and cash that paycheck the old-fashioned way. The bank can wait for your overdraft payments until you get caught up. Four walls first. House, (Incl utilities), food, transportation, min. clothing.
 
#5 ·
Everyone else has the right advice. Stop the autopayments, and if you have direct deposit, stop that too. The bank can wait for you to pay them. Cash your check somewhere else and mail your bills in the old fashioned way. If you have to, call the utility companies and see if you can work out a payment plan with them. Some companies even have financial departments that specialize in situations like yours. They can HELP you if you take the time to talk with them. You will make it through!
 
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#6 ·
Before you trash your credit even further, take some time to work out a budget and find out just how far behind you actually are. For instance, if you worked out deals with all your bill companies to skip one month payment, would that be enough to catch you up? My car loan allows one "hardship" payment skip per year. Basically they shove the loan back one month. Something like this might be a better option for you than simply stopping making payments. I think you need to figure out where you actually stand first.
 
#7 ·
We had to do that once with our car. We actually got so far behind that we had to skip two months. They just added the two months on to the end of our loan and we kind of started over fresh I guess. Calling and finding out what they can do is way better than racking up late fees!
 
#8 ·
I didn't suggest not making payments. You just need to stop auto-pay so that you can better control when and how much is paid out. Hun, I have been where you are. Once you get control it is possible to bounce back. I know it's scary, it's hard and it's even humiliating at times.This path your on, it's rough. One day you'll feel like your on top of the mountain and the next you'll take a nasty fall and have to get back up again. Fall down 7, get up 8. Hugs and best wishes
 
#9 ·
I didn't suggest not making payments. You just need to stop auto-pay so that you can better control when and how much is paid out. Hun, I have been where you are. Once you get control it is possible to bounce back. I know it's scary, it's hard and it's even humiliating at times.This path your on, it's rough. One day you'll feel like your on top of the mountain and the next you'll take a nasty fall and have to get back up again. Fall down 7, get up 8. Hugs and best wishes
That is what I meant as well. Good luck to you hon, see if some of the agencies you deal with can help you.
 
#11 ·
:bfly: Hugs to you, fluttermuffin !!!
Do you have any type of overdraft protection on your checking account ? My bank offers a Line of Credit for my checking account up to a set dollar amount, where if there is an overdraft, money is transferred into my account to cover it. I can either pay this off or let it ride like a loan from the bank, with monthly payments until it is paid. I have an overdraft loan, now, for about $250.00, and the bank takes $10.00 monthly as payment. I am trying so hard to get out of crushing debt, and some may see this as more debt, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do! Also, stopping the auto pay, as other FVers suggested is a good idea. I pay most of my bills online, monthly, as they come due, and when I know there is enough money in my account. Also, you might check with some of your creditors, like for your auto, to see if you can change your payment due date to coincide with a paycheck. This may help to allocate your paycheck better. It really helped me ! Even though I have not had the courage, yet, to post my debt/financial nightmare (still too ashamed of the situation I created for myself), I have received such hope and encouragement from the kindness and compassionate responses of the FVers to others, and I am sure you will too. Keep your head up. There will be a brighter day !!!:doh2:
 
#14 ·
And don't forget to cancel the auto deposit if you have it. There's always money orders to pay the bills.
 
#15 ·
The last thing you need when you're against the wall is overdraft charges. Get a handle on your account NOW. I agree with stopping all auto withdrawals. It might be necessary to open an account at a new bank otherwise everything thing you deposit will first go towards the overdraft which will keep you in the hole. You need to get a budget in place to survive which means necessities only. Then use any extra to catch up with the gas company and then repay the overdraft. It might even be best not to use a bank account until you get things under control. DO NOT WRITE A CHECK UNLESS YOU'RE 100% SURE YOU HAVE THE $'s IN THE BANK TO COVER IT. That means you need to keep a check register and subtract each check when you write it.
 
#16 ·
thanks everyone.. :grouphug2:

over the past 25 years, I've helped my BFF with bills, groceries, place to stay, etc.... I called her yesterday whining and she showed up last night handed me $1000. She told me not to argue and take it because it was her turn to help me out... OMG, I bawled.

I'm going to pay that gas bill this morning and put the rest in the bank to get caught up. When I go to the bank, I"m going to ask about adjusting my two loans with them... either consolidate or stretch them out with lower monthly payment. I'm going to start working on stopping my auto payments.

I sat and looked at my proposed budget then went through my bank history for the past few months... just noticed that 3 of the smaller things that are coming out are still my EXH's. medical bill, and two website fees... I've cancelled them... that's about $100 a month. Plus I have been paying my DIL student loan payment of $120 a month since Sept 2008 (was supposed to be temporary but just never pushed her to take it back over) called her last night and told her that I was having that cancelled today and she needed to make arrangements....

whew, this is going to take a while.....

you all are wonderful
 
#19 ·
Given all this new info, I wonder if you would be better off closing your accts and opening new ones. I know you are recently divorced and things are wonky right now, but I don't think you have a handle on what's coming or going out of these accts.

I wonder if you would be further ahead by starting over.
 
#18 ·
Sounds as if you are getting a game plan started. Create a monthly budget that you can track. This will help you see where your money is going. This is what I use and I know where every penny goes. Really does help to keep on track.

Once you have a budget you can see where you can cut down on expenses.

It is great to hear you have a friend that helped you.
 
#21 ·
Hugs and Blessings to you, today is a better day. You have such a wonderful friend. I am glad you are getting a better understanding of what is coming out of your account, what might not be your responsibility anymore and getting the bank account under control.
 
#22 ·
It's amazing the difference that one day can make. I think you have a good handle on this, but I agree with Russ. It may be worth your while to start fresh. This way you know for sure that the only payments you're paying are yours. Good luck!
 
#24 ·
I'm glad things are looking up. I agree with Russ as well. I am currently in a consumer proposal because of overwhelming debt. My financial advisor insisted I do just this. It was a bit of a pain in the butt, however, I opened a new bank account and had my check deposited in this one. I only have insurance coming out of the account as an automatic withdrawal now, and everything else is paid as I am able to do so. I've saved a lot on silly expenses that I didn't really pay attention to before.

Keep your chin up! This too shall pass!
 
#25 ·
What a great friend! You're very lucky. I also agree with Russ. Close the account if they will and open new ones. Although they may not until the charges are paid. But start a new one.
 
#27 ·
Glad to hear you are taking control instead of hiding under the covers (which some folks do instead of facing situations). Big hugs to you and know that we are always here to listen and offer advise!!!
 
#28 ·
Think Russ has a point. CLOSE that bank account. I'm totally against auto pays or bank drafts. Often they are impossible to stop. Sure they'll agree to stop it, but then it keeps coming out of your account month after month. Stop payments on drafts rarely work since there issued based on the dollar amount (besides they cost $$). The company can simply change the amount by a penny & it will go through or at least that's how it use to work.

Is there anyway to open another account or go without one for a while?
 
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