Starting over= sorry it's long

**Karma** · 09-07-2011, 10:55 AM

Background: I'm a single mom with 2 children. I do receive child support of $280 a month plus 1 child gets SSI (i believe thats whats it called) from her dad because he is on disability of $512 a month. I have a work at home job and pay varies (I can make good money when I work)

I got out of a bad relationship 2 months ago where I was renting a house I couldn't afford, paying all bills, and my savings got drained to nothing, and my car was deliberately ruined (ex ruined the transmission on purpose)

My children and I have moved in with a friend who is helping me get back on my feet and become self sufficient again. I pay my friend $250 a month to stay here. This is a safe, peaceful environment for us.

Now: My car is now fixed. Both children are in school so I can work when they are there. My work requires a quiet background.

The only bills I have monthly is:
$63 cell phone- this has everything I need for work and personal, can't get it cheaper for what I need (due on the 6th)

$40 internet aircard- need this for work and is unlimited internet. (due on the 5th)

$68 car insurance- I have basic coverage and did shop around for the best price (due on the 6th)

$100 gas in car- it takes a tank of gas $60 a month for meeting my kids dads for visitation and the other $40 for running around, errands, etc. I do not do any unnecessary driving.

$10 misc- like shampoo, etc

I was spending about $400 a month on groceries.

I do receive food benefits of $320 a month which I start receiving this month and I do have access to a garden. My kids get free lunch at school.

I had school expenses for the kids like clothes,school supplies that I have already paid for.

My plan for self sufficiency is this:
I need to have my own place by February. Staying with my friend is temporary and he knows I am trying to get my own place by February.
To get a rental or apartment you need 3 months of bank statements to prove income since I am self employed. I have plenty of time.
I can work while my children is in school which is 8 hours a day but I figure I would definately be working 6 hours for sure.

Last 2 months I earned July $1349 and August $1492, working whenever I could and my kids were not here or busy

The bills i have, I pay on the 1st every month. My money from work is direct deposited on the 1st and 16th every month.

I have $120 in my savings account after spending $1500 on new transmission plus school items.

I don't know how to set up a budget. I would appreciate any thoughts or advice on my situation, thanks

**Karma** · 09-07-2011, 11:00 AM

Forget to mention i am trying to earn at least $400 a week from work.

When I earn more than $1800 a month from self employment the food benefits will be cut off.

**krbshappy71** · 09-07-2011, 11:40 AM

Can you stay with the friend long-term and just increase the amount you give them for rent?

Have you looked into housing through social services? Since you are already receiving other assistance may as well get on a waiting list for their low-income apartments if you truly want to move out from the friend's house.

Build up an emergency fund again, thankfully you had the savings to cover the transmission, so you have learned the importance of keeping that saved up. Do that first. No credit cards? You are miles ahead of me if you don't have any credit cards, way to go!!

**khaski** · 09-07-2011, 11:54 AM

First off, I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation, but glad you've moved onto a healthier environment for you, and your kids. Is the $400 a month work goal gross or net?

**Karma** · 09-07-2011, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by krbshappy71

Can you stay with the friend long-term and just increase the amount you give them for rent?

Have you looked into housing through social services? Since you are already receiving other assistance may as well get on a waiting list for their low-income apartments if you truly want to move out from the friend's house.

Build up an emergency fund again, thankfully you had the savings to cover the transmission, so you have learned the importance of keeping that saved up. Do that first. No credit cards? You are miles ahead of me if you don't have any credit cards, way to go!!

No, long term is not possible. We are staying with a male friend of mine and this has put some stress on him (not used to kids) and put a damper on his romantic life. It's working out great now because it is short term.
Low incomes apartments around here are not great and I wouldn't want my kids to live there. 3 months to work and save should get me a decent place.
I have no credit cards, loans, or anything like that. I pay cash or do without.
I think I will set up a separate bank account with an emergency fund. When my transmission was ruined I had no money and it took 3 months to come up for the cost.
I'm trying to earn 400 a week/1600 a month gross

**Karma** · 09-07-2011, 12:21 PM

You know, I went to the department of human services to see if I could get help with deposit or something on a place for me and my kids. You could apply for help if you have a hardship but the caseworker told me if I applied that would mean my children did not have a stable home and she would call CPS on me.

**HappyMama** · 09-07-2011, 12:21 PM

Hugs and Blessings to you, I too am glad you are in a safer and better environment for yourself and children. Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you. Keep your chin up! I am sure you will get many suggestions for help on your budget.

**HappyMama** · 09-07-2011, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by Karma

You know, I went to the department of human services to see if I could get help with deposit or something on a place for me and my kids. You could apply for help if you have a hardship but the caseworker told me if I applied that would mean my children did not have a stable home and she would call CPS on me.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttt........ Oh my sorry seems like you are trying everything. Well as a good mom that is not an option you don't need CPS involved. Oh bother. Sorry , keep trying with work, your budget ,your generous friend and all will work. Hugs and Blessings to you.

**Karma** · 09-07-2011, 12:24 PM

I had never thought about an emergency fund before.

I realize it was my fault for being in the situation I was in and feeling trapped. I'm trying to make smarter choices and to protect my children and I in the future.

Thanks for the prayers

**mndtrp** · 09-07-2011, 12:36 PM

Your biggest cost is your food, especially since your kids are in school. I would think you could cut that down by $100, but I don't know what or how you eat.

**Anna43** · 09-08-2011, 12:21 AM

Your budget should include rent, food, car expense, clothing, insurance, school expenses, medical, birthday/Christmas gifts, miscellaneous expenses, tithe, utilities, savings and any special categories you might have. So you first add up all your income. That's your starting point. Then you add up all your expenses. If income is more than expenses you're golden. If your expenses are more than income then you must adjust expenses down so as to stay under income.

How stable is your child support? If it is not reliable, then do not include it in your budget. When you do receive it put it immediately into savings.

Also, you need to use your lowest income for your budget. So if you make $1200 most months but some months only $1000, use $1000 for your budget and in the $1200 months put the extra $200 into savings. Using the lowest income to make your budget means you survive during the low months and save during the better months.

Simplified version of how to make a budget. The absolute criteria is you MUST SPEND LESS THAN YOUR INCOME.

**craftypam** · 09-08-2011, 04:25 AM

I agree to take the lowest income that you think you might get and set up your budget (how much you owe for each thing). Can you get on a budget plan for utilities? I pay a fixed amount for my gas bill each month. It's much easier to budget that way. Then save a quarter of what you owe from each paycheck for each bill and at the end of the month you'll be able to pay all the bills. I would also have envelopes set aside once you get settled for Christmas and any other expense you might see coming up. And definately asap get yourself an emergency fund to fall back on.

I don't know if you like to read but Your money or your Life and the Tightwad Gazette are good books to help. You can get them out of your local library for free and if your local library doesn't have it check with the librarian to see if they can get it for you.

I also want to say stop blaming yourself; you're out now and starting a better life for you and your children!!!!!
GOOD JOB!!!!!!

**cwaltz** · 09-08-2011, 04:54 AM

You say your food has been at about $400 and now you will be receiving $320 in food aid.

That should free up a good portion of your food budget(not entirely since soap, tp and other items are not covered).

I'd be using that freed up money for savings.

What does housing cost in your area? You really need to make up a budget and use the amount you would pay for housing as your savings for first, last and security deposit. Consider the funding put aside as a trial run on how you'd do with handling the expenses of a new place.

As for categories, I'd start simple, break your bills into categories housing, utilities(cell, internet, electric,etc), transport(insurance, car maintenance including gas), food, medical/dental, emergency/savings, misc household expenses(clothing,school fees, laundry money or appliance escrow etc, etc) ,entertainment. I wouldn't tithe. Volunteer your time instead(you can get a two fer if your state has a SHARE program and then you can pick up a food box at a discount for volunteering).

Additionally I would echo Anna43, only count income that you can guarantee. If support is spotty then don't count it. If your slowest month was $1000 that should be your incoming income budget starting point. ex =$1000+280+ 512 = Budget not to exceed $1792

Housing - Should try not to exceed 1/3 monthly income using example- $558

Utilities

cell
internet = 103 ( $661+)

+ new place will need electric (find out now if you'll need a deposit and plan ahead)

Transportation

insurance
gas = $168 ($829+)
?? (registration, taxes, and a monthly amount for stuff like filter changes, tire changes etc should be included)

I know it's not always realistic (you mention court ordered visitation and the party involved sounds hostile and I live in a rural area so I know everywhere does not have reliable transit)but if public transport is an option with your income I'd be tempted to ditch the car.

Medical/Dental

Copays? Small sum put to the side for the inevitable flu season and kids that are around other kids ($50) ($879+)

Food- (revised to $100 + food stamps) ($979+)

entertainment- $50 (if you choose to get cable this is where it should come from, ditto kids meals, movies, redbox rentals, etc, etc) ($1029+)

Misc household $100(laundry, school fees for field trips, clothing, etc, etc) ($1129+)

Savings $100 + excess ($1229+)

This is an example. What you could/ should do is get a notebook and one of those pocketfolders to save receipts. That way you could track your spending and adjust accordingly in all the areas. Be brutal with yourself when it comes to evaluating. Setting your bars too low on areas in the beginning is only going to set you up for failure. Better to go high and adjust down later than to say you'll spend $25, only to find that you exceed that routinely because the number wasn't realistic to begin with.

Good luck!

**shoiji** · 09-08-2011, 10:55 AM

Right now you have a budget for what you spend each month.

To plan for the future, try to figure out how much a month rent will be in an area you want to live in. You may need to go with a one or two bedroom until you start earning more money. You can get an idea on how much utilities will cost by asking your friend how much he pays. Now is also a great time to start menu planning, couponing, and comparison shop to cut down the grocery bill.

The website has so much information on saving money from cutting down the food budget, where and when to buy clothes, how to save on cleaning products, etc. So pick one item at a time for ideas and find what will work the best for you.

**krbshappy71** · 09-08-2011, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by shoiji

You may need to go with a one or two bedroom until you start earning more money. .

In my area you cannot have only a ONE bedroom EVEN if your children are of the same sex and are the same sex you are. I wanted to do this to save money, (single mom with two daughters) sleep on a futon in the living room and let them have the bedroom, I was told it was against housing regulations. They let me have a two bedroom but not a one-bedroom.

So check it out before trying this, wouldn't want to get evicted or plan on the cost of 1 bdrm only to get shot down when they find out you have multiple children.