Just Need Help Keeping My Head on Straight :/

**ml2620** · 09-21-2011, 08:36 PM

TigerGirl, what a beautiful boy you have, that smile and those eyes just make my heart melt.

My daughter is now 13 months, but when she was a newborn up to about 6 months I went to a weekly breast feeding support group that was free through the hospital and run by a lactation consultant who was also a nurse. Every week she weighed the babies on a hospital scale and recorded the information, and it helped us discuss any concerns we had week to week. All the hospitals in our area have these groups, maybe they have them in your area as well?

I also went to a regular new mom's support group where we were able to weigh the babies each week, and it was geared to older babies and mom's that did not breast feed. It was also free.

I say this because if you had a local support group like that you could have Cooper weighed weekly by a nurse and avoid the weekly co-pay, and you and the nurse could decide when it was worth calling the pedi and making the co-pay. Check with your hospital and local moms group.

Lastly, my cousin had a micro-preemie at 24 weeks and when she finally came home they had to monitor her very closely and weigh her daily and they invested in a digital baby scale for around $200 if it's going to be a long term issue, a digital scale might be the less expensive solution.

Just a thought, hope this helps! I'll be keeping that gorgeous boy in my thoughts and prayers (you as well!)

**TigerGirl1226** · 09-23-2011, 09:50 AM

We only had to do the weight check once, he proved he was gaining weight on a "typical" growth curve so now we should only need to do the well checks with the ped that other kids do so that'll be the first week of October. We will still need follow-ups with surgery and cardiologist for the foreseeable future.

Ok, game plan...we are going to talk to our Credit Union about some type of debt consolidation or loan. We just want to look at our options and see if we can get all this into one payment. Right now I would be making incremental payments to 10 providers per month for quite a while. If we can't get a loan to cover the medical debt possibly we could do a consolidation of some of the consumer debt we have left.

**saver** · 09-23-2011, 08:00 PM

Congratulations on your precious new son!! I second the idea of asking if a nurse can do weight checks. When I had my DS, they let me bring him in for free weight checks and the nurse would weigh him. My doctor, who is an angel, would always "peek in" when he was being weighed and take a quick look as well. I think it made us all feel better!

**TigerGirl1226** · 09-29-2011, 04:20 PM

To be honest, I've sort of buried my head in the sand over the last week regarding the medical stuff. We did sell DH's sax and used that to catch up on some bills I had let lapse. We/I were spending irresponsibly while the baby was in NICU last month so we need to catch up on some regular stuff.

I did talk to the cable company and lowered our bundle bill by $20 for the next 2 years. Ever little bit helps!

**SwirlyThing** · 09-30-2011, 01:35 PM

I just wanted to chime in, as a NICU nurse, and say how glad I am that your baby is doing well... remember that's the most important thing!

I also wanted to comment on the apparent duplicate ultrasound charges. It's likely that the hospital charged for performing the ultrasound (usually done by an ultrasound tech), while the doctor charged to read and interpret the ultrasound.

**TigerGirl1226** · 11-16-2011, 11:48 AM

UPDATE:

So the baby had to have another surgery on October 11th for bilateral inguinal hernias (the type older men often get). Then October 14th my FIL very suddenly passed away.

Needless to say things have been crazy! My inlaws live an hour and a half away from us which may not seem like far, but almost every weekend we have been making the trek down there to help MIL out. FIL left quite a mess for her as far as taxes and being secretive financially. Thankfully she kept her money separate (I don't normally like this system, but it's a blessing this time) so she is sound financially.

She will be signing over FIL's car to DH as soon as she is able so we will be able to see DH's car and that will be one less bill for us. FIL's car is a better and new car.

I've been throwing a few pebbles at our medical debt, but still haven't been able to really put a dent in anything. I am starting to get a few calls from some of the offices "just wondering when I'll be able to send more" and I've just got to laugh sometimes.

The surgeon confirmed at the last follow-up that Cooper will need at least one more surgery because his big surgery doesn't seem stable for the long term. We will find out a date on 11/28.

Whew...!

**GirlBoyGirl** · 11-16-2011, 10:03 PM

Wow he is beautiful, congrats!

I know how you are feeling, and I can say that one day this will be but a blip on your radar. I spent a month on hospital bedrest trying to keep my twins from coming early but they were born 2 months early anyway so spent 4 weeks in the NICU, receiving lots of oxygen support in the beginning which is NOT cheap! But its weird, it feels simultaneously like yesterday and like ages ago... But mostly, the stress and worry is over and now I have two crazy toddlers (actually three now LOL!) to keep me busy! The financial stuff worked out.

One thing I learned is to never pay a medical bill until it was my third time receiving it, since it can take so long for insurance to pay, etc. Even then, upon the third bill, I always called first. And then I always tried to work out a lesser amount.

Good luck and congrats again!

**pammy** · 11-18-2011, 08:00 AM

What a cutie!!! Congrats!!!

I can already feel the turmoil you must be feeling. Have been living with it myself last 18 months with the roller coaster since dh was diagnosed with cancer.

Just know the insurance company will do whatever they can to get out of paying what is legitimate. Don't let that sway you. That is their job. Be diligent with going over statements and calling and asking questions. I'm still fighting with them. LOL can you believe that after my dh went through radiation/chemo, major surgery, then went in for his real bout with chemo they at first denied him because it was a 'pre-existing condition'?? Ummm.... still the same cancer, hello?? He was told he couldn't get his 12 treatments of chemo, even after discovering it went to some lymph nodes, because it was pre-existing.... huh?? Fortunately we have a not-so-friendly secretary that handles the insurance, had her call them... within 15 minutes they were calling him in for his treatment. LOL.

If nothing else, get to know the person that handles the insurance part of whichever one of you the insurance is through, have them be an advocate on your part. The binder is excellent!! Will surely help. If you are curious about something, it is sometimes worth the pain and loops to call and ask. At one point I was refusing to pay a bill with no info on because I just didn't know who it was or what it was for... just an invoice to dh with an account number and an amount. Umm... what's this for?? They are bad about that. It's okay to call and ask. I have found also that most medical places are really good about working out a payment plan. The chemo doc alone we owe 10k for our out of pocket expenses (after deductibles and co-pays, max out of pocket for us is 10k, yee... but better than having no insurance). Who has that walking around for the off chance someone has a major medical condition... I don't. Radiation doc, radiation, surgeon, hospital, multiple PET scans, second colonoscopy, gastro doc.... Every one that we have not been able to pay in full have been really great at letting us set up a plan until we are able to pay them off. It's snowball time for us, lol.

Hang in there! Just look at that beautiful little boy and know it is all worth it.