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Terrified Newbie

10K views 40 replies 26 participants last post by  PurpleSnowflake 
#1 ·
Our superintendent knocked on our door and handed me an eviction notice this evening. I nearly passed out after reading it, went into a panic, now I'm just numb.
My hours have been greatly reduced over the last several months and I haven't had any luck picking up additional work. Rent has been late 3 times and the notice was for "persistent late payment". I'm going to call the landlord tomorrow to see if there is any way we can prevent the eviction. We have lived here for over 10 years and have always paid our rent, so I'm hoping this was a scare tactic to ensure future prompt payment. I completely understand where they are coming from and don't blame them. We just have nowhere to go and no money for first and last. I am so afraid we will be on the street, I feel sick.
Things have really come to a head over the last couple of weeks, with payments being late, and my job search has been frantic recently. I've been scraping for grocery and gas money for our family of four. Part of my job requires the use of the car, so I can't even park the vehicle and bus it. I don't think we qualify for any type of assistance as on paper our income is too high. I've even resorted to a couple of small payday loans recently to buy groceries - I know, the worst thing I could do, but I had to feed the family. We have nothing of value left to sell.
Over the last several years our debt has gotten out of control - my husband was laid off, then on strike, then laid off again, then I was off sick for 4 months. It's been one hit after another, and we never get time to recover in between. I am trying to find help with my resume because I am not getting any calls - I am a health professional and have applied for EVERYTHING I can, from jobs in my field to telemarketing and housecleaning. I am currently delivering papers to supplement but it isn't even making a dent. At my job I'm getting anywhere from 6 to 20 hours per week - nowhere near enough.
The worst part of this is that I have always looked after the money and was really trying to shield my husband from the stress of this, so he was kind of blindsided by the whole thing tonight. From now on we will be looking after the money together.
I am just terrified of what will happen to us.
As far as cost cutting, there isn't alot that could go. We had two cars and got rid of one. No smoking, drinking, dining out, take-out, etc. I cook 7 nights a week, and I'm in Canada and find it extrememly difficult to save on food, but I do what I can. Hubby needs internet and cell for his work, I need home phone/fax for mine. Basic cable is our only real entertainment , but it could go. I buy thrift store clothes when necessary, daughter buys her own, son's come out of child support and hubby rarely feels the need to buy clothes. We have about $31000 in debt including our car loan, credit cards, overdraft, loan from my parents, etc. This is down from about $40K 2 years ago.
My daughter is in college full time and working part time, son has a disability and is in high school.
I know I need to increase my income to correct this problem, but the immediate concern is this eviction. Need some prayers that the property management co. will let us stay! I feel sick...
Thanks for listening to me vent, and any helpful words would be appreciated.
 
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#2 ·
I think you are doing exactly the right thing, going to talk to the manager in person. Hopefully, your ten years of good history will convince him/her to work with you. You say your income is high on paper, but that you don't have any ready money. Where is your money going? Can you lower your payments to anything else? To the car, your parents, the credit cards?
 
#3 ·
Call your creditors and see if you can get some sort of temporary deferment on credit card payments - perhaps paying interest only sort of thing. Loan repayment to parents? Will they let that slide a couple of months or at least take a lesser amount? Food cost? Read the forums here. They contain some serious food costs saving hints and tips. You're probably eating cheaply now but I bet some of these members could help you cut even further and still be healthy. And yes, I would do away with even the basic cable. I know it will be difficult but these are difficult times. For what it's worth, I don't have cable and never have. Is your daughter that's working part time able to help at all during this immediate emergency? And yes, get your resume straightened out ASAP. I don't know about Canada, but healthcare professionals here are still in some demand although salaries have been cut.
 
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#4 ·
Hi
What part of Canada do you live? I live in calgary. What do you do in the medical profession? I have found work before in home care looking on kijiji and the job bank.

Talk to the landlord. Stop cc and parent loan payment for the time being and get caught up on rent as fast as possible. House, food, vehicle should be your priority. Cut cable. Cut all non essentials. Get intense. borrow Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey from the library. Read it.

Find help with your resume. Find help with interviewing. Ask everyone you know for job leads. Knock on doors and drop resumes off in person rather than only applying online.

Could you look after kids in your home? Pet sitter? Dog walker? Delivery service? Can you make anything to sell?

Stay strong, don't give up. You can do this.
 
#5 ·
Here in the States, there are different government agencies that can help with these kind of issues. There's also churches and other private organizations that can provide aid. I'm wondering if there is this type of set-up in Canada as well. Is there something like the Salvation Army there, or Welfare agencies?

I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. That kind of stress is immense, and I hope so much that you can get the financial aid you truly need right now. Please try to stay in control sweetie, and also do keep us up-dated. There just might be help out there that you weren't aware of. Start making phone calls 1st thing tomorrow.

Hang in there!!
Hugs!

Theresa
 
#6 ·
Thank you so much for your replies! I don't feel like I can talk to anyone in real life about this, even my husband is going through his own silent thing at the moment. I am so ashamed and feel like I should really have my act together at this stage in life.

I start work before the property management office opens, so will have to call them during my break - would like to go in person, but this will have to suffice - of course this is the one full day of work I have so far this week.

My parents told us when they gave us the loan to pay what we could when/if we could - don't even want to have to tell them about this as they aren't in great health and Dad is having surgery this week. :( My daughter's wages are being eaten by her transportation costs to and from school at the moment - she is also looking for more hours or a second job. I have already spoken to the credit card companies who, after one missed payment are already calling regularly. I called each before the payments were missed, and even though we have good payment history, none are showing any patience unfortunately. I am going to look online this evening for any type of services that might be available to us. My employer is in the homecare field -they are woefully close to losing their contracts at the moment, so that shipis sinking. Hoping to find something in a different sector as it is very unpredictable work at the best of times, and the vehicle costs are a problem.
Just praying that my phone call goes well this morning and the landlord is willing to give us another chance - otherwise I don't know what we'll do. Please pray for us this morning...
 
#8 ·
Thank you so much for your replies! I don't feel like I can talk to anyone in real life about this, even my husband is going through his own silent thing at the moment. I am so ashamed and feel like I should really have my act together at this stage in life.
Don't be ashamed...I am going to be 50 this month and I have been working since I was 16 and I am just getting my act together. We are all on a journey so don't kick yourself about it. Focus your energies on ways to get out of this situation not focussing on the past.
 
#7 ·
Oh my....well I am glad you reached out to us here on the forum..post your budget...maybe we can help see "with new eyes" ways to cut your expenses...there are SOOO MANY FRUGAL experts on this site and they ARE WILLNG TO HELP...I am praying for you!!!
 
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#9 ·
First off lay it out for your Dh. Hiding things isn't fair to the other person. You can't work as a team that way.
4 walls policy as of right now. Rent,food utilities then the rest. Work w/ the manangement company thru the landlord. Do you have income adj. apt. there like we have here? don't assume you don't qualify. Apply for everything. Shame wont help w/ the bills. Hit the pavement asking for help.
If your Ds has disabilities there should be help thru some agency. And hit the food pantry too.
Someone suggested D.R. he will help. See if your local library has his course.
 
#15 ·
As far as the debt payments go , CC, etc. I know they can build up but ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS: THEY CANT EAT YA!!

Make sure your family eats first, and you have a place to live. CC's and other loan payments come AFTER your basic necessities are met!!
 
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#16 ·
I know that sounded weird. It's my husband's debt motto when we have gotten stressed beyond the max. THEY CANT EAT YA. They can threaten you, they can take everything you own - but they can't eat ya. They can't repo your kids, and #1 priority is making sure they are housed and fed and clothed. The rest will just have to come later.
 
#17 ·
I like that...my mom used to say ..."well they can't squeeze blood out of a turnip"...I guess we were the turnips and the bill collectors were the squeezers. ...but I digress.
OK how did the phone call go this morning??
 
#18 ·
UPDATE!!!
Sorry for the delay - yesterday ended up being an extremely busy day.
So, I called the property management company as soon as they opened and spoke to the most understanding woman. She asked what was happening that was making it difficult to pay on time and I explained. She then asked me what we could do about it. I said that if they would give us a second chance, we would pay cash each month on or before the first,making it the priority over all other debts. She said that if we could make that effort over the next few months she was agreeable to taking back the notice. I was so thankful and relieved I just sobbed when I hung up the phone. (Happy tears for once!)
We still have a lot of work to do, but this has really given me new hope. We may have a buyer for our van that has been off the road for the last few months, so that will take a chunk out of the pile of "to-be-paids", so that is good news too!
I am off today, so job search is first, then I have to get all our paper work & numbers together. Hubby and I will be looking at everything TOGETHER this evening and making a plan for the next couple of months that we can contact the creditors with. Hoping to post our bills/budget so the folks here can look at it with fresh eyes and make suggestions.
I have to say I am completely overwhelmed by the support and suggestions you all have offered! Hoping that someday soon I too will have something to offer to others here! Will keep you posted!
 
#20 ·
Best news is that you still have a roof over your heads. You are at least able to work on something now. I'm happy for you. Very happy.

Please check into some of the assistance programs in your area. I'm not one to believe people should automatically get any type of assistance, but I do believe those that truly need it should have it. Beyond that, with some thought and energy, you might be amazed at what you can shave off your expenditures. I posted something yesterday about significantly reducing my electricity bill from the same time frame last year by following some of the tips received here...computer off when not in use for extended periods, unplugging unnecessary appliances, not a single light on in a room not being used. For many of us, shaving the food budget is really a good starting point and you might be amazed at what you can shave while still serving nutritious meals - and sometimes even more nutritious. In my case, zero fast foods. Huge savings right there. And of course, the job - the resume and interview prep. You can do this!
 
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#22 ·
Just saw this thread. So glad things worked out in the rent department for you. Hoping and praying your van sells. :)

Don't be shy about checking out the free/welfare options here in Canada. We do have them for a reason. There is probably a local Food Bank in your community. And quite a few churches can help in a pinch if you want to be more anonymous/private about it. Most ministers have a certain amount of cash given to them by the governing board that runs the church specifically for people who come in off the street who are in dire straits and need help. While they won't help pay your CC bills, they may be able to put food on your table for a week or two.

I would also contact the city (if you are in one) to see if they can tell you who to contact in your area about assistance. Our city has an Anti-Poverty Ministry that is a clearinghouse for most of the various groups assisting the poor in the city. If your city/area has something like that, you can get a lot of questions answered and help from just a few phone calls.

Best of luck! :) Let us know what your budget looks like and we'll help as best we can. :)
 
#23 ·
Don't be afraid to volunteer somewhere. It can be a great way to network. When I was volunteering at a food pantry one of the things the food pantry was doing was partnering with a local health clinic to offer free basic health screenings for the low income.

Just keep on plugging away at it. The most important thing is to keep on working through everything that may come along. Don't be afraid to go to the food pantries. They may also be able to help you find out what type of help you could qualify for such as heating assistance.
 
#26 ·
Umm...she's in Canada folks. Any 'health screening' is free. :) One of the perks of being a Canuck. :) Coming up to winter I'd guess her big expenses are rent, utilities, food, transportation, and any extra health stuff over and above the basic for her disabled son. Like if he needs supplements/treatments that are not covered by health care, either through the government or work health insurance plan.
 
#28 ·
Luckily my husband has been able to work OT the last two nights, but that has also meant he comes home, eats, decompresses for 1/2 an hour then heads to bed. Haven't had an opportunity to go over the numbers yet, but we will do that this weekend. We were both able to pick up an extra Saturday shift as well, so that's a blessing.
Was reading the comments about health care and I have to say I feel very lucky to have ours covered. We do pay much more income tax, etc. but it's worth it when you consider what we get in return. I don't know how you all manage it in the USA!
Feeling much less panic over things now, although I tend to wake up in the middle of the night a few times a week in a complete state. Still read your comments daily - they really get me through and keep me focused!
 
#33 ·
Luckily my husband has been able to work OT the last two nights,

... Yeah, that's what guys do. They think they can work harder and all the problems are solved. Well, when money is short it helps, but you don't want that to be the long-term solution either. Nor do you want your husband thinking that you were accusing him of being a poor provider. That wasn't the problem. The solution is something that needs the two of you working together.

Haven't had an opportunity to go over the numbers yet, but we will do that this weekend. We were both able to pick up an extra Saturday shift as well, so that's a blessing.
Was reading the comments about health care and I have to say I feel very lucky to have ours covered. We do pay much more income tax, etc. but it's worth it when you consider what we get in return. I don't know how you all manage it in the USA!

... We manage it in the USA because we pay less in income taxes and (until Obamacare is fully in effect) we have a choice about which "benefits" we want to obtain.

Feeling much less panic over things now, although I tend to wake up in the middle of the night a few times a week in a complete state. Still read your comments daily - they really get me through and keep me focused!

... DO keep focused. The reprieve on the eviction can lull you into believing the crisis is over. You might be tempted to let up on your efforts. It is like a dieter who loses 10lbs and says, "Oh good, I can eat now." No! You still have a lot of work to do, especially new habits to learn. Track every single penny that you're spending - every single penny!
Good luck! Keep posting.
 
#30 ·
Your doing what you have to. But i noticed you keep saying "I" can your husband maybe be able to pick up a part time job or more hours at work.Many husbands work 2 jobs. If your having issues finding more hours in your field,maybe he can. Just a thought. I will keep your family in my prayers.
 
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