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6K views 23 replies 19 participants last post by  madhen 
#1 ·
AARGH. Its a long story... my husband and I were both working full time when we got our current apartment. It is an avverage priced apartment for our area. Our lease is not up until July. This past July we considered relocating to a cheaper place but coming up with first last and security is difficult as we live paycheck to paycheck. We could afford the apartment at the time but now, we have a special needs child so his medical bills etc have been racking up along with his dietary needs. In order for me to work other than overnight ( which would allow me 3 hours of sleep per day), we would have to shell out up to $6 MORE per hour for special needs child care than I make at my current job. totally not worth it. I am part-time and on call right now and try to work around when my husband is home so we don't have to pay for childcare. We don't qualify for any assistance from the state. My husband makes $62/week more than would allow us to qualify for WIC. So, here we are. Every month we pay our rent on time but only partially. We give a check for about 75% of our rent and then post-date a check for the remainder to clear after payday. We have no cable, no cell phones, and no credit cards.. no debt to speak of other than a car payment for my husband's car that he needs for work (he does alot of travelling and we got one that is very good on gas).. we do have internet though. I don't even know what I need here besides to vent... I feel like the state doesn't take into consideration that we have a child with high medical bills (even after the insurance pays their share), a special diet due to food allergies (dairy and gluten), his foods cost much more money... I do as much as I can from scratch for him but things are still very costly. I just don't know what to do to make ends meet. Help!
 
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#3 ·
First of all, a very big hug. May I ask how old your kid is? If he is old enough not to be on formula anymore, maybe you could try making him some dairy/glutenfree stuff yourself? I believe we have some people inhere who can't eat one of both too, so maybe some of the recipes can be some kind of help. I hope the suggestion is some kind of help, but please don't be feel bad when its not, Im just really sorry I couldn't be of anymore help.
 
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#4 ·
Likewise with the hugs to you. And then again, because the first thing you need to know (even though you don't know it) is that you're not alone and you can vent here any time (PM me if you want.) Having a special-needs child can be *VERY* isolating, I know, and so do many of the other folks on here. Thank goodness for the internet, it provides an outlet and a connection we otherwise might not have (depending on the nature of the child's illness.)

You didn't mention what is going on with your child, and that's alright, it's private and you don't have to share it with us if you don't want to, but whatever it is, there's a website with a support group attached, and that is a great place to start researching what is out there to help you and your child. Depending on the "special needs" involved, other parents will be able to clue you in to local resources. But I do want to second what Jettsmom said about the SSI, you might qualify for that even if you don't for WIC... never know unless you check.

Also see if you can get referred to a food bank or Angel Food Network, and look into "Share" and other food coops in your area. (If you don't know, Share is NOT income dependent, and basically you pay about $20 for a bag of groceries that is worth $40-$50... they publish a menu by area, and you can decide each month whether it's worth it to participate that month. You have to certify 2 hours volunteer time to participate, but it can be doing absolutely anything at all... not for everyone, but worth considering.)

What about in-home childcare? As in, you care for someone's child at your home as well as your own child? Is your child well enough? (Some aren't.)

What region of the country are you in?
 
#5 ·
*hugs*

What about online surveys/etc that rack up points to be used for gift cards? Such as MyPoints? It's not much, but it may help a little.

Can you talk to your landlord and ASK if they would let you out of your lease without penalty due to the circumstances?

Did you apply for foodstamps also? The income cap may differ. It's worth trying, worst they can say is no.

Sorry, that's all I can come up with -
 
#7 ·
Talk to your child's specialist. They may know of services that are available. Many times specialists (especially those at hospitals or bigger offices) have "social workers" on staff that will connect you to services that are available for children with that special need.

One of our children is a cancer survivor and there is a special state insurance that is available.
 
#8 ·
For US: Please file for SSDI for your child if you or husband have enough SS credits to qualify. Children with health diagnosis before age 22 get SSDI based on a parent's employment history. Your child may qualify for SSI too until decision is made. It will take 5 months minimum to hear back from SS...you may need to appeal or file 2 or 3 times. This is normal. After your child has been getting benefits for 2 years, he will qualify for Medicare insurance coverage. Some states have some extra help:
1. Homestead tax refund -- Portion of real estate property taxes refunded for households with disabled member living on site.
2. Medicaid coverage for working disabled persons -- For later use, your child could get medicaid coverage with low copays and medication expenses and pay a premium for medicaid.
3. SSDI allows recipients to earn $1k a month working -- for later use.
4. Look into some non-profits working with people with your son's diagnosis...these folks are a treasuretrove of info on community help, SSDI law, etc.
5. SSDI folks get financial help for Bachelor's degree.
6. Habitat for Humanity, home rehab charities and some first time home buyer programs automatically approve families with a disabled members. HUD, USDA Rural Housing, Fannie Mae all offer some programs to help families with disabled members purchase their own homes and rehab the property if it needs work or accessibility changes for wheelchairs.
7. Get with your local school district to see what clinics it offers students with disabilities and when these services start to assist with transition into schooling.
 
#9 ·
A food share program is a good idea but Angel Food had been shut down. There are others out there depending on where you live.
Are you having to pay a late fee for your rent? If so I think you need to look at immediate financial needs (pay rent fully each month, emergency fund) and longer term (raise income or lower expenses to better accomadate your needs).
Immediately, I would try to find the amount you need to pay your rent on time. This will help your sanity and your credit report. Perhaps a family members gets "time off" over the holiday and would watch your son while you work some extra shifts. Perhaps...depending on how your work is, you need to reschedule all of your holiday celebrations this year so you can work at time and a half. Or maybe if you see some esp. good shifts coming up your husband needs to put in vacation time to watch the child while you work extra. Or maybe he has a chance for overtime or a part-time job. The purpose here is to find that extra $$$ once so your budget has the rent on time and isn't taking a hit for the late fee.
Then set some money aside for some emergencies. This means using some of the ideas from above but maybe on a smaller basis. Can a relative babysit for four hours on the weekend? Or your husband get overtime for five or six hours a month? All of those will help.
And look long term. How old is your child? Look into SSDIAlso look into school services if he is over three. Yo get more people helping the child and consistant child care which will help with the part-time job.
My only suggestion for special diets is to drop that food as much as possible rather than sub special foods. So use corn tortillas rather than specially marked "gluten-free" made from rice wraps. Google recipe's from other countries using rice rather than making gluten-free bread.
 
#10 ·
Could you offer to do some services around the apartment complex in order to get a reduction in the rent like cleaning apartments when people vacate or answering the phones at the rental office during the lunch hour?
 
#11 ·
Thank you all so much for your support and suggestions! More info for those of you who asked: my son is 3 and has autism. He is non-verbal and has developmental delays as well (besides verbal). He is a happy kid but is about at the developmental level of a 12-18 month old. He goes to preschool 2.5 hrs a day, 5 days a week. Not long enough for me to drive to work and have it be worth it. I don't know of anyone who would hire me for 2 hours a day... We have applied for state health insurance for him although our regular health insurance requires us to pay for a family plan whether we have one child or 12 on it so we will continue to pay the same amount for that- but his insurance will have little or no copays. I am looking into SSI.. I am also trying to find some WAHM jobs to help with our income. I am just SO STRESSED! I have some info on writing childrens books- a lifelong dream of mine- and I have started jotting some ideas down. Unfortunately I don't have a whole lot of skills My degree is in cooking and unfortunately unless I find a personal chef that would allow me to cook out of my own home, I don't think the hours working in a restaurant will work out.

BUT, my daughter will be in school for a full day this coming September.. that would allow me to send my son to daycare after preschool and I could work. Just gotta get to Sept without sinking.

Thank you all again!
 
#14 ·
I work in a preschool and some of our moms either work part time there, but not in their child's class or substitute. You'd work the same hours and pick up some extra cash.
 
#15 ·
I work in a special needs school for our county, the majority of our families get SSI and services from Easter Seals, what about the local school district in which you live?? in our state we have a Help Me Grow program (free to families regardless of income)that helps families in the school district with children w/dis.From birth on up....Call your school district or the coinunty schools for info, you HAVE TO ASK, where I work we are not allowed to give out that kind of info unless you ask......it is the dumbest thing I ever heard of....Have you talked to your pediatrician also, sometimes they have info to Try your SCHOOL DISTRICT first.....
 
#17 ·
Thank you all! I didn't even think of Easter Seals... I contacted a place near us that helps families with children with disabilities (mostly with guidance and advice on help thats out there) but they primarily work with families with teens and young adults who are entering the working world. I will look into all of it- thank you all so much!
 
#18 ·
Your son is definately eligible for SSI. What state are you in? Each state has agencies that pay agencies to work with children with disabilities and it would be free to you. I'm about to have my son tested for autism by such an agency and it is free to us and any services that would be provided would be free as well. PM me, I am a social worker by trade and have a lot of experience doing resource research. I would just need to know your city and state, no other info to do an exhaustive search.
 
#19 ·
Don't know if this would interest you or not, but why don't you put up flyers/word of mouth about your cooking. Maybe you could cook meals for working parents who don't have time but interested in hot meals for their family.
 
#20 ·
Jantana, that is what I was going to suggest. See if your state allows you to cook from home and sell. At first it may just bring in a little money but atleast it is a start. The plus side is that you can offer dairy and gluten free options with your knowledge from your own experiences. I have also noticed that many continuing ed programs are looking for instructors, have you thought about offer a cooking class at the local night school or YMCA? I bet a diary free/gluten free option would be appreciated.


Don't be afraid to go to food pantries. Many have fresh produce and offer other services to offer clients, heck you could volunteer to prepare low cost recipes for clients, or cooking classes. The one I volunteered at helped with security deposits as long as the person/family was working and able to make payments, it was on a first come first serve basis. Not only Easter Seals but Catholic Charities might have some options.

I am also diary free and gluten free and finding low cost options is definately a challenge. Especially if you need to be strict on the products you purchase. Try to branch out with different grains and milks. One thing that has helped me is trying different types of ethnic foods. I do purchase some foods from the ethnic aisle or stores but I realize they are not guaranteed to be completely free of gluten to save money.

Hang in there, am sure you will be able to find more options as long as you keep trying. Many great suggestions already posted here.
 
#21 ·
You all have been amazing! I really appreciate your support. I forget if I posted this but my husband is a chef and his employer had a 50 pound bag of gluten free flour and gave him a huge bag of it- that has helped IMMENSELY. We are so lucky! I have been struggling to get fruits and veggies into my son so I get carrots, zucchini etc on the clearance produce rack at the grocery store and put them in muffins etc... I am finding it fun to be frugal. Sorta. :) Anyhoo... the SSI application is in (5-7 months to process.. *sigh*) and we found out we qualify for free diapers through our insurance since he is over 3. That will be a huge help.
 
#24 ·
In re: the apt, if you paid last month's rent on your current place, and you give notice, the landlord should apply the rent to that, so you would have that covered. That gives you a month to save up for rent/deposit on a new place, part of which you would already have, because you would have the money you would normally have paid your current landlord. Most apartments will work with you on paying the deposit in installments IF you have a good history with your previous landlord (and it sounds like you do). Also, you should be getting whatever deposit, if any, you put on your current apartment back, so it might just be a matter of a week before you can apply it to your new one.
 
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